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Description
Silently, I walk next to you, watching every move you make. It hurts to see you in so much pain, seeing you wishing that your life was over. Even though you never say it out loud, I know you thought about suicide several times, I can see what’s happening in your mind. As we walk on, the surroundings get more and more familliar, we’re going to the place we’re already been so much, the past few days.

I watch the snow cover your black hair with white spots, while you enter the cemetary. Your footsteps covered up by a fresh layer of snow, like you’ve never walked there. I see you searching for the right grave, the one you come almost every day. When you finally found it, which didn’t take a long time at all, you sit down against a tree, that’s standing next to the grave. I sit down next to you, also with my back against the tree, and I stare in the distance.
“Life used to be so much easier,” I hear you say, and I couldn’t agree more. Tears start to appear in my eyes, as I think back of how all things used to be. The cold wind makes you shiver a bit, I can feel it even here, and when I notice that, I think back of last winter.

“Here you go!” And I get snow thrown in my face. I laugh,
“That one was mean!” While I try to get as much snow in my hands as I can. When I think I have enough snow, I make a ball out of it, and look around to see where you are. I find you, somewhere hidden behind a parked car, your green eyes, sparkle from fun. And you start to laugh also, when I throw the snow at you, don’t have the time to get away anymore. Still laughing, you walk towards me, but with every step you take, your face gets more serious. You wipe some snow of my blonde hair, even though it doesn’t make a difference because of the falling snow. At the moment you look into my eyes, I get lost. All meaning of time seems to fade away, when I’m drowned in your green eyes, I have the feeling this moment lasts forever, even though it’s only a few seconds. Without looking away from me, your face gets closer to mine, and I feel your hot breath on my cold skin, just before our lips touch. Never was the feeling we were perfect together, closer than at this moment.

“I just miss you so much,” your voice gets me out of my memories, even though I’d rather be lost in my memories, that would mean I wouldn’t have to see you in so much pain.
“I miss you too.” I whisper softly, even though you can’t hear me anyway. I look down and try to make some figures in the snow, like we always used to make snow angels together, but the snow doesn’t give to my touch. It remains untouched. I wish I could give you a sign, that you should find something more in life, than spending hours and hours at the cemetary. But I can’t.
Hours pass in silence, the air gets colder, and the sky starts to darken, when you finally rise from the ground. The ice cold wind got stronger, and makes you shiver, as you make your way back to the entrance of the cemetary. Back to the warmth of your house.

While you get the keys out of your pocket, and unlock the door, I look at the name sign next to the door. Vivian Sin’Amor & Theon McInsane. In the half year that I’m gone, you still didn’t replace it. It sends a sting of sadness through my heart, I want to touch you, kiss you, talk with you, just be with you. I follow you as you go inside, but you don’t take the time to hang your jacket. It looks like you have something important to do. The first thing you do when you walk into the living room, is get pen and paper, you sit down and begin to write. I can just read along with you over your shoulder, and tears start to roll down my face.

Dear Theon,

It’s been six months now,
Six months of being reminded of you, the emptiness. No one who kisses me when I get home, no one who holds me out of my sleep with useless talking. No one I can really nag to. Every day I get reminded of that fatal day. I haven’t been in one car since the accident, even though you weren’t even in one while you got hit.
I can’t remember the days after you died very well, it’s all been a blur from me, I only remember the guys from the band being there for me. But after a month, everyone got back to his daily business, and I was confronted with the emptiness you left behind.
I can’t go on like this any longer. The silence is killing me, and I miss you to much.
I love you, and I’m doing everything I can, to be with you again.

Yours forever, Vivian.

You put the letter in an envelope, where you write Theon on. After that you walk to the front door, not minding that you left your keys inside. I know with what you are going to do, you won’t need them anymore.
Every step we get closer to the cemetary, I panick. I’m starting to walk backwards in front of you, so I can face you, and look into your eyes.
“Vivian, listen to me, this isn’t the right option! Please, listen to me!” My panicking voice gets carried away by the wind, for no one to be heard. You’re so close to me, but yet so far away. I couldn’t even touch you if I tried. Finally you stop, but I notice it’s just to enter the cemetary. Carfully you walk past the other graves, to mine. Softly, you press a kiss on the envelope you’re still holding, and then you put it against the grave. You turn around and I look into your eyes, for what I know, will be the last time. You look scared, but they’re also full of determination. No one will become between you and your plans, that I’m sure of now. You walk to the exit of the cemetary, and look at your watch. Now I’m starting to realize you planned this for some time. After a minute or two, a bus drives in the street. You’re barely to be seen, with your black clothes and hair, in the dark. And just before the bus passes you, you run to the middle of the road.
“No!” I scream, as loud as I can, and I run towards you, and try to push you away. But the second I touch you, I fall right through you. The sound of loud brakes, and you screaming fills my mind. It’s over.

I tried to take your pain away,
But in the end,
I couldn’t be your guardian angel.

Description
Silently, I walk next to you, watching every move you make. It hurts to see you in so much pain, seeing you wishing that your life was over. Even though you never say it out loud, I know you thought about suicide several times, I can see what’s happening in your mind. As we walk on, the surroundings get more and more familliar, we’re going to the place we’re already been so much, the past few days.

I watch the snow cover your black hair with white spots, while you enter the cemetary. Your footsteps covered up by a fresh layer of snow, like you’ve never walked there. I see you searching for the right grave, the one you come almost every day. When you finally found it, which didn’t take a long time at all, you sit down against a tree, that’s standing next to the grave. I sit down next to you, also with my back against the tree, and I stare in the distance.
“Life used to be so much easier,” I hear you say, and I couldn’t agree more. Tears start to appear in my eyes, as I think back of how all things used to be. The cold wind makes you shiver a bit, I can feel it even here, and when I notice that, I think back of last winter.

“Here you go!” And I get snow thrown in my face. I laugh,
“That one was mean!” While I try to get as much snow in my hands as I can. When I think I have enough snow, I make a ball out of it, and look around to see where you are. I find you, somewhere hidden behind a parked car, your green eyes, sparkle from fun. And you start to laugh also, when I throw the snow at you, don’t have the time to get away anymore. Still laughing, you walk towards me, but with every step you take, your face gets more serious. You wipe some snow of my blonde hair, even though it doesn’t make a difference because of the falling snow. At the moment you look into my eyes, I get lost. All meaning of time seems to fade away, when I’m drowned in your green eyes, I have the feeling this moment lasts forever, even though it’s only a few seconds. Without looking away from me, your face gets closer to mine, and I feel your hot breath on my cold skin, just before our lips touch. Never was the feeling we were perfect together, closer than at this moment.

“I just miss you so much,” your voice gets me out of my memories, even though I’d rather be lost in my memories, that would mean I wouldn’t have to see you in so much pain.
“I miss you too.” I whisper softly, even though you can’t hear me anyway. I look down and try to make some figures in the snow, like we always used to make snow angels together, but the snow doesn’t give to my touch. It remains untouched. I wish I could give you a sign, that you should find something more in life, than spending hours and hours at the cemetary. But I can’t.
Hours pass in silence, the air gets colder, and the sky starts to darken, when you finally rise from the ground. The ice cold wind got stronger, and makes you shiver, as you make your way back to the entrance of the cemetary. Back to the warmth of your house.

While you get the keys out of your pocket, and unlock the door, I look at the name sign next to the door. Vivian Sin’Amor & Theon McInsane. In the half year that I’m gone, you still didn’t replace it. It sends a sting of sadness through my heart, I want to touch you, kiss you, talk with you, just be with you. I follow you as you go inside, but you don’t take the time to hang your jacket. It looks like you have something important to do. The first thing you do when you walk into the living room, is get pen and paper, you sit down and begin to write. I can just read along with you over your shoulder, and tears start to roll down my face.

Dear Theon,

It’s been six months now,
Six months of being reminded of you, the emptiness. No one who kisses me when I get home, no one who holds me out of my sleep with useless talking. No one I can really nag to. Every day I get reminded of that fatal day. I haven’t been in one car since the accident, even though you weren’t even in one while you got hit.
I can’t remember the days after you died very well, it’s all been a blur from me, I only remember the guys from the band being there for me. But after a month, everyone got back to his daily business, and I was confronted with the emptiness you left behind.
I can’t go on like this any longer. The silence is killing me, and I miss you to much.
I love you, and I’m doing everything I can, to be with you again.

Yours forever, Vivian.

You put the letter in an envelope, where you write Theon on. After that you walk to the front door, not minding that you left your keys inside. I know with what you are going to do, you won’t need them anymore.
Every step we get closer to the cemetary, I panick. I’m starting to walk backwards in front of you, so I can face you, and look into your eyes.
“Vivian, listen to me, this isn’t the right option! Please, listen to me!” My panicking voice gets carried away by the wind, for no one to be heard. You’re so close to me, but yet so far away. I couldn’t even touch you if I tried. Finally you stop, but I notice it’s just to enter the cemetary. Carfully you walk past the other graves, to mine. Softly, you press a kiss on the envelope you’re still holding, and then you put it against the grave. You turn around and I look into your eyes, for what I know, will be the last time. You look scared, but they’re also full of determination. No one will become between you and your plans, that I’m sure of now. You walk to the exit of the cemetary, and look at your watch. Now I’m starting to realize you planned this for some time. After a minute or two, a bus drives in the street. You’re barely to be seen, with your black clothes and hair, in the dark. And just before the bus passes you, you run to the middle of the road.
“No!” I scream, as loud as I can, and I run towards you, and try to push you away. But the second I touch you, I fall right through you. The sound of loud brakes, and you screaming fills my mind. It’s over.

I tried to take your pain away,
But in the end,
I couldn’t be your guardian angel.