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OneLifeRemaining — sitback relapse again
Published: 2015-08-11 07:06:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 702; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 0
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Description
The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
It had been the worst possible time to have cubs. If only she could have foretold the events that would come to pass before their birth. If only she could have known the peril the Empires would be plunged into afterwards. She could only hope and pray that the choices she made didn't cause harm to them. But the years had changed her. She'd become stronger by becoming colder. But she'd never seen it. Not until now. Not until everything started falling apart. Or...so it felt. She was criticized for agreeing to aid the other empires in the war. Constantly hearing that Fire Empire had no benefit from this and overhearing whispers that she was doing this for her own revenge...as if she would be so selfish! The reason she agreed to stand beside the other empires was to ensure they did not fall! The wild needed more empire cats to defend it and fight for it, not fewer to allow Hunters to encroach on those that remained. Fire Empire would not be seen as a group of cowards. Fire Empire would fight for what they believed in. Whether or not they found any of their missing cats or not, there would be a point to shed blood and possibly life for this cause. It was bold. It was risky. But it had to be done. The Hunters had to be sent a message.
"Let's see how they like it when we use their own tactics against them..."
Death. It would dwindle the enemy's numbers. It would cripple those that remained. But for cats that hadn't fought like that since their time in the arena...they needed to brush up. Learn new techniques. Learn stealth. If she hadn't gotten enough criticism before, Andromeda certainly had for assembling the Assassin Legion. Teaching cats to kill was so against everything the empires had previously believed in, they said. But no. It went against what Soren believed in. Soren was tired of killing because he was forced, and he ensured no one else had the right to do it. He thought that would help. He meant well, and he was loved for it. But realistically, did restricting a cat's freedom in such a way truly exemplify freedom?
"Soren wouldn't have wanted this..." Nedria urged. I already knew that.
"Where did your compassion go?" Brutus had asked her softly. It was reserved for those deserving of it.
"I'm worried about you..." Don't be, Milon. Worry about your sister.
"Mom...you've changed..." I'm still the same, Garen.
"This madness has to stop." This "madness" will buy us freedom.
"The blackness in your heart won't last forever..." Even my dreams speak as if I'm a monster.
"Aren't we important? Why do you have to be gone so much, mommy? We miss you!" And it breaks my heart to be apart from you..
"Andromeda...In the end...is this who you want to be? Is this how you want to be remembered?" Your words ring with honesty, Theo. But truely, my legacy does not matter. I do not need fame. I need for my family to live in peace and see to the next generation...and I will fight for their future with every ounce of blood I have.
It was her duty to train the Assassins. No one else could do it. She didn't have a choice but to be apart from her cubs. Why did everyone seem to think none of this was hard for her? Every day she had to leave her children in the care of someone else. Every day she had spent training the Assassins, forcing herself to stay focused instead of worrying about what could have happened to them while she was away. They had been born in the middle of this. But they had Brutus. He would care for them. He would make sure they knew that she loved them with all her heart. That she would give the world for them, because they were the world to her.
Something in her was changing. She couldn't tell what it was. Regret perhaps? Sorrow? But the more time she spent with those little cubs, the more closely she examined herself when she looked at her reflection. The pleas of her cubs begging her not to leave them for another afternoon with the elite gladiators. Her closest adviser suggesting something was wrong. Perhaps there was...Perhaps the stress had built up and was getting to her. Surely more time with her cubs would relieve that?
Hopefully, when all of this was over, she could spend all the time she wanted with them. Hopefully, she would make it back alive.
trying to catch up on RP points. I wrote more of a wall than I expected. This would have been back when the cubs were about a month old. I really want to color this, but I just don't have the time right now DX Maybe later~
Eos, Andromeda, Anatres (OneLifeRemaining )
Nedria, Brutus (DappledSun )
Theo (baliwik )
Garen (Sky-Lily )
Milon, Polaris (BosleyBoz )
Ajax (Asante-Sana )
Aries (2wolfan )
The I.V. and your hospital bed
This was no accident
This was a therapeutic chain of events
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Comments: 18
Reading though all these reactions really makes me wish I'd shown what my own Fire cats think. Particularly Sohnii, since actually, he's one of the cats who supports his leader about the whole thing. I can actually see him telling her as much, at least once, especially considering what we've talked about o:
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Milon would worry more about his sister
IF SHE WAS MORE ACTIVE TTT-TTT
BUT ANDRMOMEDA NEEDS MOAR LOVE ATM
Though I can understand her frustration with everyone worrying for her D: Poor BB. They just don't want her to share a fate like Soren EVEN THO HE AINT ACTUALLY DEAD
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T^T The emotion! Andro has gone through so much! And the babies oh my god the babies whyyyy ;-;
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N'aw, this is really beautiful and deep! I love it and her development as far.
And I believe this whole Raid thing will change her for the better. I truly do <33 There's a reason why Soren decided to promote her to leader, because of Andro's ambitions. She really connects with her fire empire-mates and tries to connect with everyone. Of course there's no perfect feline out there, so she has a few felines that don't get along with her. (and disagrees with her actions) But that's all steps into becoming a better person (cat) imo 
Because Aries is young during all of this, I could see why she 'cries' at times and is a little cautious/fearful. (and misses her mom a lot) One thing is certain though, Aries will always be a momma's girl xD Just, Andro, don't die on us PLS ;; you're my favorite leader gdi
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Thank you, and I hope so!
Poor bab...I'm in the process of making the family picture for Antares' cub assignment so we'll get to see Andro being all close and stuff with them<333
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You're welcome hon! ^-^
Aaaaaaaaa i cannot wait!! I'm looking forward to it ;; I already told Dap a few days ago about drawing a family picture too (on Aries' cub assignment
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Yay I'm glad I inspire yous~<3
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Poor Andro, this is such a nice piece.
Unfortunately, when it comes to Ajax, chances are getting more and more slim that he'll ever forgive her. For him, she took Soren's death too hard, and built herself such a cold exterior that she froze the fire the Soren had. His home feels violated, and fundamentally wrong. She's taking everything that Soren did and throwing in the trash. He believes she does have some feelinsg buried inside, but he does think she has somewhat lost it - what exactly, her mental health, her love, her care towards others? Maybe a mix of the three.
He doesn't bother with her reasoning much, not anymore. Especially after the war. For him, sorry doesn't cut it. Changing now won't change the past. If she took things hard, she should have allowed someone to lead for her. She shouldn't have tried to be strong - there are times to be strong and times to be weak, to just give in to your feelings. In way, Andromeda froze the fire in Ajax too. He has become exactly like her... But for the opposite reason. He's cold, harsh, and everything Andro has been ever since she came back, but all these feelings are directed to her. In a way, she DISGUSTS him as much as the Hunters disgust her. She covers her actions with sweet promises of freedom and justice but he only sees the cold in her.
She may feel bad during and after all of this. She may try to change things and be a better leader. But has had years to finally begun to rethink her actions, and Ajax has just started feeling that way. He won't be changing anytime soon.
Just adding a bit to what you've said. This is a beautiful piece, and it kinda sucks that the damage in Ajax has been too great to actually appreciate this change. Hopefully Koda will get the chance to know a better Andromeda, though she'll probably be always somewhat scared of Andro (which is another thing Ajax hates xD How Andro feels too scary to even be contacted normally. How she's intimidating and harsh and all this. This isn't a leader, this is a dictator and he hates hates that... Oops).
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That really makes me sad that Ajax hates her so much :/ Ajax mate doesn't like her either and assuming Andromeda has picked up on both their feelings, it would definitely concern her. Especially now that she's realizing the error of her ways. The guilt of knowing how she's neglected cats like Ajax and how she's treated everyone in general will really eat at her.
But she's turning over a new leaf! She's doing her best not to be as scary, and she certainly has never meant for the cubs to be afraid of her~ poor babs~
Yeahh, she was definitely turning into a dictator without realizing it. I'm glad she stopped where she has and didn't go full-on Tigerstar status.
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Gahh, poor Andromeda. ): I do feel sad for her because she's been dealing with so much. I'd have to agree with what Tayler said. I think the issue was that she put up such a strong/cold mask, and the hardass act was so convincing, that her whole empire wound up believing it pretty easily.
Also, I don't think Garen would have ever said to her face that he'd thought she changed... he cares a great deal about her feelings and has been holding hope that she's still "in there." And he wouldn't want to hurt her. Maybe Andro just knew him well enough to gauge what he was thinking from the way he looked/acted around her?
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Yeah, I think you're probably right! I mean, obviously the mask was born of anger and pain and vengeance but...she wore it so long she forgot the loving, compassionate, caring cat beneath it. It's sad really. I want so badly for her to be at peace with herself, but I think she's beginning to realize there's too many cats who will never forget her mask.
And yeah, that didn't have to be something he actually said. She might have picked up on it, overheard him talking to someone else, or hell, even heard him say that in a dream. Who knows?
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Camisado has always been a close song to me because of the events that I went through in high school involving my grandfather. It's a good song, but brings back haunting memories of hospital visits and loud fights between the two people I loved. It's a well written piece... Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks is a good tie in with this same theme, at least from the writers perspective.
To be fair, I think that Andromeda's issue is that she's been so cold and stoic with most of the cats in her empire that, in the end, they figure it doesn't bother her because she doesn't show it.
Though, to be fair, Nedria would have probably turned more towards her children and the fact that she's not spending the time with it, that she could have gotten another cat to take care of the training while she spent the time needed to bond with her children. Nedria, after all, knows Soren wouldn't have wanted it, but also is a mother at heart, and worries about Andromeda's lack of care towards Garen and her own children respectively. It felt like she had thrown herself into the training without even thinking about the fact that she could have easily gotten Theo or Brutus or any other cat to train them. (Just adding to what you had, not saying you're wrong in any way)
Brutus, on the other hand, is just kinda lost and confused, because Andromeda wanted them to have children but was forced to leave them at any point in time due to her own position in all of this. He worries about Andro and loves her dearly, despite knowing that she does not have those feelings in return... and often tries to play as if both sides are just as in love with each other as they should be, so that the cubs don't have a broken misconception of love when they are older... Something I don't think Andromeda has taken the time to think about, considering what she has said to Aries... who is much too young to understand the concept.
I think it's less of him wondering about her compassion and more of him worrying about her lack of emotion. The fact that she hasn't even acted as if she might not return from this whole ordeal alive... I think that's what has him the most worried. She doesn't seem to show him that she worries or cares about her own life... Granted, I'm not exactly sure how much time either of them have really spoken on an in depth level since the war prep began... the most I can know is that every waking moment Andromeda is not with those cubs, Brutus is generally there for them unless he has to patrol or hunt, and even then, as soon as he gets the chance he's back with them, and he is taking his time to tell them that they are loved more than anything in the world by their mother, because in his heart of hearts, he knows it's true.
All speculation and stuff, sorry to wall you. I just wanted to mention some insights :3 it's a well written thing though
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I think you're right with a lot of these points. At some point I think she had believed she would be stronger if she allowed herself to be colder. If she didn't show emotion and let anyone in, then her somehow fragile heart could not be broken should she lose those she loves. Brutus has always been a good reprieve from that, but like you said, she doesn't feel the same way towards him. She regrets that heavily, because she believes Brutus deserves better.
I would also like to think that Andro and Nedria are friends these days. Since Nedria has been around Fire Empire and has been imparting some of her own compassionate/wise ways to Andro, who has graciously accepted the mentor ship as if she knows she's needed it. She always admired Nedria back in the day. When Nedria was leader and Andro was a silver, so she would listen to what Nedria has to say. She would allow herself to become more like Nedria in some ways to ensure she doesn't completely...lose it. She wants to be the cat she used to be as silver.
I don't think any other cat could have trained the Assassins. They wouldn't have been as fierce or tough as Andro on them, and she knows it. Also I'm not sure what you mean by what Andro said to Aries?
Thank you, glad you liked it
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I think that Nedria would also remind Andromeda to not fully fall in her footsteps. It can be a lonely road when you turn away from the empire you love and cause those that were close to you to drift away because of what you've done.
WHERE DID IT GO OH MY GOSH I READ THIS I SWEAR IN THE RP BLOG WHAT THE HECK *flops down* nevermind, I guess I misread or something, but it was something along the lines that Andromeda wanted to give her cubs everything she didn't have; love, a good life and so on and it was towards Aries and just I DONT KNOW WHERE IT WAS POSTED OR WHAT... ugh I hate when this crap happens
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Yes, that too. These two could be such good friends
OH I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
the reason Andro named her Aries was after Kid. Kid left the empire because of his love for the cheetah Aries. In addition to naming her after the war that they were born in the middle of, she wanted to name her after the cheetah in hopes that she would find love and stuff. I explained that to Wolfan but idk if Andro would have explained that to Aries cannonly yet. Basically she just wants her cubs to have a better life than the one she's lead for herself.
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YEAH YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET THAT STRAIGHT WITH WOLF
ONE YOU AND I NEED TO TALK STAT GET ONLINE AS SOON AS YOU SEE THIS
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