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opiateX β€” silk Wonderland
Published: 2011-07-25 22:25:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 137; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 4
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Description the panic is sticking to my lungs
languid in my body, rushing stream
crash crash boom boom...!
my hand forms into a pistol
and i laugh death off.
a sort of hideous relief,
i fall onto the abjected bed
my lungs go up, ballooning and crashing erraticly
my lips like the exit of a red popped balloon.

cureless, they try to cut my heart out
β€”laugh, why would they want a misbegotten apple?
and then they say they want a diagram for what went wrong

a human's number one disease is heartbreak.
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Comments: 7

RollingTomorrow [2011-07-29 17:30:41 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for participating in our prompt at #Live-Love-Write !

The writing style here was a bit rough, but it did add to the mood created by the piece.

Good work!


*TheFinalHikari
Founder of #Writers--club , #LandoftheSky , and #Live-Love-Write

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opiateX In reply to RollingTomorrow [2011-08-30 00:35:13 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome~

ah, i tried something different because i usually write in a style that flows

thank you!

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RollingTomorrow In reply to opiateX [2011-09-26 14:06:18 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!

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DarkBejewler [2011-07-27 21:46:27 +0000 UTC]

It's kinda odd, but....I like how the last line brought things together I'm the guy who wrote a poem for this prompt called, "Simile for her sadness" I removed the previe image because I think it gave the poem away

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opiateX In reply to DarkBejewler [2011-08-30 00:33:11 +0000 UTC]

hahah most of the time i don't really like summing the poem (as in it already speaks for itself) as the closing line. but i guess in this one it fits.

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EpicArtX3 [2011-07-25 23:10:01 +0000 UTC]

I really enjoyed this.

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opiateX In reply to EpicArtX3 [2011-08-30 00:30:04 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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