HOME | DD

orangecloudsraining — parentheses
Published: 2011-05-25 22:09:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 448; Favourites: 26; Downloads: 2
Redirect to original
Description i was going to ask you to hold back my hair
if i started to heave
but it's cut in mourning
for the fawns dying under the chalky
moist hands of children,
in mourning for newspaper print
threatening suicide off the tips of your eyelashes,
saying things like
i could fall faster
i could convert more
i could shine my face brighter than your sands
Related content
Comments: 29

silklilies [2011-12-24 13:32:36 +0000 UTC]

this is one of my favourites. it's so good.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to silklilies [2011-12-26 03:23:00 +0000 UTC]

thank you so much. (:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

velocity07 [2011-11-28 13:12:36 +0000 UTC]

i'm not sure what the title is supposed to mean, but the poem itself is lovely.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to velocity07 [2011-11-28 18:07:26 +0000 UTC]

it's not supposed to mean anything. it was supposed to be something like (((( just as a placeholder, but this website doesn't allow them in titles.
thank you. (:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

velocity07 In reply to orangecloudsraining [2011-11-28 18:11:48 +0000 UTC]

oh, i see. yeah, i hate how this site is like that. there's no earthly reason i can think of for it to not allow certain symbols. but anyway...*sigh*
you're welcome! =]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

little-supernova [2011-07-02 00:22:44 +0000 UTC]

Oh, I do love the first few lines. I really do.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to little-supernova [2011-07-02 03:00:14 +0000 UTC]

thank you (:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CityLightning [2011-06-26 21:15:35 +0000 UTC]

You're never gonna stop being so beautiful that it hurts my throat. You make me want to cry. xox

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

breathingglassstars [2011-05-28 20:09:37 +0000 UTC]

hi you're one of my favorite writers
is that okay

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to breathingglassstars [2011-06-21 02:27:33 +0000 UTC]

oh that is most definitely okay, love, i appreciate it so much

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

archelyxs [2011-05-26 20:37:16 +0000 UTC]

"saying things like
i could fall faster
i could convert more
i could shine my face brighter than your sands"
I feel this.
Love to see you out again.
Don't stop digging.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to archelyxs [2011-05-27 00:37:28 +0000 UTC]

thank you muchly. and i won't. this is good.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

archelyxs In reply to orangecloudsraining [2011-05-27 19:59:10 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad you agree.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

WithinMyGrasp [2011-05-26 04:49:55 +0000 UTC]

so much love.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to WithinMyGrasp [2011-05-27 00:38:17 +0000 UTC]

^_^ thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TeaWithBri [2011-05-26 01:03:19 +0000 UTC]

I love the beginning and end most of all.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to TeaWithBri [2011-05-26 05:24:04 +0000 UTC]

[: thank you...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

the-chemical-factory [2011-05-25 22:25:48 +0000 UTC]

each line is perfect

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to the-chemical-factory [2011-05-25 22:44:47 +0000 UTC]

not quite

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ancientpoet [2011-05-25 22:12:49 +0000 UTC]

Needs some work to bring out your meaning better as well as show the intent of the title, it seems to me. The start of something really good it seems

Patrick

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to ancientpoet [2011-05-25 22:14:24 +0000 UTC]

the intent of the title was that the title couldn't be "untitled"

well thank you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ancientpoet In reply to orangecloudsraining [2011-05-25 22:17:14 +0000 UTC]

Not sure that makes much sense LOL and my pleasure

Patrick

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to ancientpoet [2011-05-25 22:21:02 +0000 UTC]

i wouldn't have titled it anything, but i couldn't, so i filled the space with parentheses. deviantart rejected them as a title. ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ancientpoet In reply to orangecloudsraining [2011-05-25 22:25:00 +0000 UTC]

Ahh, now that makes sense, sorry I made the last comment, I hope to read more of you works soon and hope you will enjoy some of my poetry as well.

Patrick

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

allyestarrystarfish [2011-05-25 22:12:01 +0000 UTC]

this is perfect
and yet
awful
because you know i hate hearing these things from you.
but.
beautiful... grawh.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to allyestarrystarfish [2011-05-25 22:44:30 +0000 UTC]

stop commenting first on everything goof. c:
and thank you, also
sorry?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

allyestarrystarfish In reply to orangecloudsraining [2011-05-25 22:49:23 +0000 UTC]

well maybe
you should go purchase me one social life
so that i'm not always on here waiting for something to happen.
and you're welcome, also
no need to be.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

orangecloudsraining In reply to allyestarrystarfish [2011-05-25 22:51:32 +0000 UTC]

one social life, coming right up! c:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

allyestarrystarfish In reply to orangecloudsraining [2011-05-25 23:00:27 +0000 UTC]

o:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0