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My mind was shrouded in a thick haze as I walked without taking notice on where I was going. My movements were slow just like how it seemed time itself had slowed down. He was dead. I killed him. My body felt heavy, everything felt heavy. I knew it was because of what I had done but it was more than that. There was this feeling of being extremely dirty, stained even. But my stain was my stepdad so why didn’t I feel even a little bit clean? Somewhere in the back of my mind a small voice whispered to me. It’s over, it told me. I knew that and even though that was what I’d wanted for all this time why didn’t it feel like it was? Lost in thought it took me too long to notice I wasn’t alone anymore. The sharp intake of breath from the stallion standing a few yards away from me yanked me back to the present. I stopped in my tracks assessing the stallion before me and I could immediately place him. It was a middle-aged stallion already showing a few gray hairs here and there. He was the husband of a younger mare and the father of two colts. He was the stallion who witnessed me getting raped and walked away without looking back.

It was already a few years ago but I could remember it vividly. My stepfather had been in a particularly foul mood that day wasting no time on talk and instead pushed me down violently. In the middle of it all as I struggled not to cry out too loudly I saw him. He stood frozen hidden in the thick bush but he definitely saw what was happening. His face was pale and his expression unreadable; it mixed somewhere between horrified and scared to death. It wasn’t the first time I called out for help but it was the first time someone actually saw it. In my mind I’d believed that when they saw it surely they would help me. But I was wrong. The stallion offered me no sort of response in fact he seemed shocked that I called out to him in the first place. His eyes widened in fear of his own life and his body came back to life. He backed up quietly without a word and then turned around leaving me to my own device. Being abandoned by him stunned me to such an extent I don’t even remember what happened after that or whether or not my stepdad had seen him. All I knew was I hated that stallion more so than all the other horses in the herd.

And here he was standing in front of me yet again that same look in his eyes as fear took a hold of him. For a few moments we just stood there watching each other in silence. I couldn’t quite place what I was feeling exactly, this was my first time being so close to him since then. He on the other hand was easy to read. His body trembling slightly and his breathing hard it was no secret that he wanted to get away from me as soon as possible. My stepfather had made perfectly clear he didn’t want anyone getting close to me or even look at me for too long. And that’s when it hit me. He didn’t know my stepdad was dead yet. I could see him awkwardly squirming on his feet as his eyes flitted from left to right, probably looking if I wasn’t alone. He opened his mouth as if to say something but then closed it quickly and turned around. And suddenly I felt that hatred rising up again inside me. My eyes narrowed in disgust and my heartbeat quickened as I saw him doing the exact same thing as all those years ago. “Easy isn’t it?” I questioned in a clear voice and the stallion froze again. I was sure he didn’t he didn’t expect me to talk to him. With a lot of hesitation the stallion looked back over his shoulder wearing a scared and guilt ridden expression. He didn’t say anything though and somehow that angered me even more. “I mean ignorance is bliss right?” I continued my voice cynical. He flinched and shrunk down but stayed in his place. “And as long as you don’t get hurt nothing matters right?” my voice rose at the end of my sentence and I took a step towards him. I could see the panic in his eyes now. Except for my screams and calls for help no one had ever heard my actual voice. How could they have when no one got near enough to talk to? His silence pushed me on. “I asked you, was. It. Easy?” I paused between the last three words for emphasis. An unrecognizable sound emitted from the stallion’s mouth and I took a threatening step towards him. “I’m sorry”, he yelped in a small voice avoiding meeting my eyes. “Your dad… He told us…” his voice died out as he knew there was no excuse in the world that could make up for what he had done. I looked down on him with contempt, he was sorry? “Sorry about what? That you just stood idly by as I got raped or the fact that you had to see it?” I growled at him as my anger grew into rage. “Did my cry for help bother you?” I spat at him as his fear of me grew stronger. “Did my screams keep you up at night? Did his pants haunt your dreams?!” I realized I was practically shouting now and two large trees at each side of the stallion started to shake. He panicked as he switched between looking at me and the moving trees. He started to withdraw as he could sense real danger now. “Walking away again aren’t we?” I sneered as I ripped one of the trees upwards and threw it in his path forcing him to stop. His panic turned into hysteria as a scream escaped his lips at the surrealness of what was happening. He turned around and looked at me in disbelief. “How are you..?” He started but I guess the look in my eyes silenced him again. I turned my attention to a half buried boulder with ragged edges and it started to tremble under my command. The stallion was overcome by fear now shaking heavily on his hooves, nostrils flaring. “Look I’m sorry! I was just trying to protect my family”, he told me in a loud, desperate voice to make sure I could hear him. My pupils dilated and my heart lunged in sheer rage. “You should have protected me!” I screamed not meaning just the stallion but all of them. “I needed help not you!” My eyes started to water but I could still make out the stallion trying to make a run for it. The boulder that had been trembling rose up and I sent it thundering towards the stallion. The impact of the ragged rock with the stallion’s face made a sound I’d never heard before and the stallion went down. I couldn’t quite see all the damage that had been done but I knew one thing; that was a fatal blow. And with that realization I turned on my hooves and started to run.

To be continued...

Next part of Shimi's story
So yeah Shimi isn't doing too well :c For the ones who didn't get it he still doesn't feel clean because he feels like he still isn't rid of his past. Like that stallion was a stain for him even though he didn't quite realize that. But I do feel bad for turning my poor little Shimi into a murderer... But his story is far from over so be on the lookout for a new part soon! I've never told you guys but Shimi's story is one of my absolute favourites. It's the only one I have completely figured out in my head even though I can still just think something up and add more depth to the story. I also really enjoy writing more about him, writing this part came so easily to me since I already know Shimi so well <3

But that's about it, I really hope you'll like the story and maybe leave a comment to tell me what you think about what happened c:

Shimi & Art: Me :devpaardjee
Pose Reference: Google Image

Description
Previous part: paardjee.deviantart.com/art/Th…
Next part: paardjee.deviantart.com/art/I-…

My mind was shrouded in a thick haze as I walked without taking notice on where I was going. My movements were slow just like how it seemed time itself had slowed down. He was dead. I killed him. My body felt heavy, everything felt heavy. I knew it was because of what I had done but it was more than that. There was this feeling of being extremely dirty, stained even. But my stain was my stepdad so why didn’t I feel even a little bit clean? Somewhere in the back of my mind a small voice whispered to me. It’s over, it told me. I knew that and even though that was what I’d wanted for all this time why didn’t it feel like it was? Lost in thought it took me too long to notice I wasn’t alone anymore. The sharp intake of breath from the stallion standing a few yards away from me yanked me back to the present. I stopped in my tracks assessing the stallion before me and I could immediately place him. It was a middle-aged stallion already showing a few gray hairs here and there. He was the husband of a younger mare and the father of two colts. He was the stallion who witnessed me getting raped and walked away without looking back.

It was already a few years ago but I could remember it vividly. My stepfather had been in a particularly foul mood that day wasting no time on talk and instead pushed me down violently. In the middle of it all as I struggled not to cry out too loudly I saw him. He stood frozen hidden in the thick bush but he definitely saw what was happening. His face was pale and his expression unreadable; it mixed somewhere between horrified and scared to death. It wasn’t the first time I called out for help but it was the first time someone actually saw it. In my mind I’d believed that when they saw it surely they would help me. But I was wrong. The stallion offered me no sort of response in fact he seemed shocked that I called out to him in the first place. His eyes widened in fear of his own life and his body came back to life. He backed up quietly without a word and then turned around leaving me to my own device. Being abandoned by him stunned me to such an extent I don’t even remember what happened after that or whether or not my stepdad had seen him. All I knew was I hated that stallion more so than all the other horses in the herd.

And here he was standing in front of me yet again that same look in his eyes as fear took a hold of him. For a few moments we just stood there watching each other in silence. I couldn’t quite place what I was feeling exactly, this was my first time being so close to him since then. He on the other hand was easy to read. His body trembling slightly and his breathing hard it was no secret that he wanted to get away from me as soon as possible. My stepfather had made perfectly clear he didn’t want anyone getting close to me or even look at me for too long. And that’s when it hit me. He didn’t know my stepdad was dead yet. I could see him awkwardly squirming on his feet as his eyes flitted from left to right, probably looking if I wasn’t alone. He opened his mouth as if to say something but then closed it quickly and turned around. And suddenly I felt that hatred rising up again inside me. My eyes narrowed in disgust and my heartbeat quickened as I saw him doing the exact same thing as all those years ago. “Easy isn’t it?” I questioned in a clear voice and the stallion froze again. I was sure he didn’t he didn’t expect me to talk to him. With a lot of hesitation the stallion looked back over his shoulder wearing a scared and guilt ridden expression. He didn’t say anything though and somehow that angered me even more. “I mean ignorance is bliss right?” I continued my voice cynical. He flinched and shrunk down but stayed in his place. “And as long as you don’t get hurt nothing matters right?” my voice rose at the end of my sentence and I took a step towards him. I could see the panic in his eyes now. Except for my screams and calls for help no one had ever heard my actual voice. How could they have when no one got near enough to talk to? His silence pushed me on. “I asked you, was. It. Easy?” I paused between the last three words for emphasis. An unrecognizable sound emitted from the stallion’s mouth and I took a threatening step towards him. “I’m sorry”, he yelped in a small voice avoiding meeting my eyes. “Your dad… He told us…” his voice died out as he knew there was no excuse in the world that could make up for what he had done. I looked down on him with contempt, he was sorry? “Sorry about what? That you just stood idly by as I got raped or the fact that you had to see it?” I growled at him as my anger grew into rage. “Did my cry for help bother you?” I spat at him as his fear of me grew stronger. “Did my screams keep you up at night? Did his pants haunt your dreams?!” I realized I was practically shouting now and two large trees at each side of the stallion started to shake. He panicked as he switched between looking at me and the moving trees. He started to withdraw as he could sense real danger now. “Walking away again aren’t we?” I sneered as I ripped one of the trees upwards and threw it in his path forcing him to stop. His panic turned into hysteria as a scream escaped his lips at the surrealness of what was happening. He turned around and looked at me in disbelief. “How are you..?” He started but I guess the look in my eyes silenced him again. I turned my attention to a half buried boulder with ragged edges and it started to tremble under my command. The stallion was overcome by fear now shaking heavily on his hooves, nostrils flaring. “Look I’m sorry! I was just trying to protect my family”, he told me in a loud, desperate voice to make sure I could hear him. My pupils dilated and my heart lunged in sheer rage. “You should have protected me!” I screamed not meaning just the stallion but all of them. “I needed help not you!” My eyes started to water but I could still make out the stallion trying to make a run for it. The boulder that had been trembling rose up and I sent it thundering towards the stallion. The impact of the ragged rock with the stallion’s face made a sound I’d never heard before and the stallion went down. I couldn’t quite see all the damage that had been done but I knew one thing; that was a fatal blow. And with that realization I turned on my hooves and started to run.

To be continued...

Next part of Shimi's story
So yeah Shimi isn't doing too well :c For the ones who didn't get it he still doesn't feel clean because he feels like he still isn't rid of his past. Like that stallion was a stain for him even though he didn't quite realize that. But I do feel bad for turning my poor little Shimi into a murderer... But his story is far from over so be on the lookout for a new part soon! I've never told you guys but Shimi's story is one of my absolute favourites. It's the only one I have completely figured out in my head even though I can still just think something up and add more depth to the story. I also really enjoy writing more about him, writing this part came so easily to me since I already know Shimi so well <3

But that's about it, I really hope you'll like the story and maybe leave a comment to tell me what you think about what happened c:

Shimi & Art: Me :devpaardjee
Pose Reference: Google Image