HOME | DD

Description
Chapter 7

Roxy
-----------

        She was kissing me. Luna was really kissing me. I froze in my spot, getting lost and scared and amazed at the same time. She finally eased away from me, and I just stared, still frozen. I had to know. Luna, are you for real?
        She looked up at me, her wide green eyes unsure of everything she had just done. "Roxy.. I'm scared. I didn't know I could feel this way for a girl, but no kiss with a guy has ever felt so.. I don't know."
        "Y-Yeah." I nodded. I had never kissed anyone, boy or girl, so I could never even imagine it. She took my hands in hers. I was scared too. I never thought anything would come out of this impossible crush. It still can't, I reminded myself. I'm terrible.
        "I need.. time to think about this all, sort out my brain," she continued.
        I nodded again. "Yeah." I understood. She made her way to her class, and as I walked to mine, my brain couldn't seem to come back down to earth.

        All day, she consumed my thoughts. I wanted to kiss her again, and now I couldn't deny it. What would that mean for my life? My reputation? …My family… I supposed it could be a secret. No one had to know.
        I didn't really know. All I knew was that I wanted her. This feeling was crazy. Would she want me too? Would I lose her if she didn't?

--------
Luna
--------

        I didn't know it was actually possible.. being.. gay.. but in a way it made sense. With guys, something always felt.. wrong. I thought it was just the guy I was with.. but..
        I didn't know how people would react. Would the people I always talked to think I was weird?
        The whole ordeal gave me a headache. I just.. I don't know. I like her. Why is it so complicated?

        I stayed after school to practice the new orchestra music. The music room was empty, give or take a few people coming in and out to get instruments. As much as I played through the songs, I just wasn't.. there. I sighed audibly, loosened my bow and packed up my violin.

                                        * * * * * * * *

        I trudged in the door and set my violin case down on the living room table. I took notice to a sticky note on the table and picked it up. It was obviously from my mom in her cramped handwriting.

        Luna,
        I went out with Aunt Maria. Be home later. Lock the door and don't have anyone over.
                        -Mom
PS: Roxy called.

        She acted like I was five. I threw the note away and locked myself in my room.
        Alone.. I pulled my old friend out of its case and strummed the strings. Alice was out of tune. I adjusted the pegs until it sounded just right, and searched my case for my pick. My room was messy as always, but as I began to play, everything around me seemed to fade out. I was barely conscious of myself singing.
        After about two hours of just being lost in the melody, my fingers ached and I took in a breath, coming back to my room. I realized that was what her kiss was like. I was somewhere else. Not here. Somewhere amazing.
        Her soft lips were like no male's. They brought a feeling of warmth to me, and she at first almost struggled, but then let herself go. I forgot about all the complications of life, and just for that moment hoped she felt how I did. Whether or not I wanted to admit that, I didn't know.
        After playing my guitar though, I was relaxed. I managed to get some homework done and made mac n cheese for dinner. As time passed, I stayed away from the phone, which didn't ring anyways.
        Roxy, I do want to be with you. I'm just afraid of what's in store, I thought. I hoped she understood my need to have the day to myself, to clear my brain.
        I plopped onto my bed, which was on the floor with no bed frame. I liked it better that way anyways. Junk couldn't pile up under my bed then. I was extremely exhausted and my eyelids felt heavy, so it wasn't hard to fall asleep. The sounds of the fans in my room lulled me into slumber.

                                      * * * * * * *

        I awoke, head nuzzled under the blanket, grabbing at random spots on my floor to turn off the now buzzing alarm. I wondered vaguely if yesterday had been a dream. I could remember her kiss clearly, though, and I wanted it again. I wanted her. She was beautiful. She was so delicate and soft. I just wanted to know. Everything about her intrigued me.
        I can't lie to myself, I thought, dragging my body out of bed and stumbling around blindly searching for clothes. I settled on a pair of jeans that were aligned to make my legs look skinny and a black shirt with colorful music notes. I'll find her today.

        The day dragged on, even slower than usual. Every period droned on and on and I would hurry out to find her after, but no luck. Today just wasn't my day. I scanned the hallways for that compelling, sad face, but nothing. Maybe she was absent.. Or maybe she was avoiding me now.
        Or, I reasoned, I'm just being stupid and overreacting because I haven't seen her. I sighed, dragging myself into fifth period nearly late. It was a notes period in English. At this moment, I decided I didn't really care about Beowulf and laid my head down on the desk.
        My thoughts automatically led to Roxy, and I felt embarrassed, but I imagined her face, down to the very last detail; her thin, soft lips, her wide, expressive eyes, her small ears, that little mole on her neck, and I imagined that face smiling at me, so light and radiant, and with that thought, the melody I played on my guitar came to mind, and now words appeared..
        Pretty girl, pretty girl / Sitting all alone / Chocolate eyes gaze upon me / And I turn to stone / Trapped and pained, in the dark / I wish to be your light / So come to me, stay with me / And we'll escape the night..

        The bell startled me. I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep on my desk. I groaned and shuffled out of my seat. I could tell there would be one of those marks on my face from sleeping on my hand. I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder and hurried out, heading to the cafeteria for the first time this week.
        I rushed down three flights of stairs, although I was pretty much convinced she wouldn't be there. I was amazed to see her sitting alone at the lunch table, writing something.
        "This seat taken?" I joked casually, sitting down at my rightful spot next to her.
        "Oh yeah," she said sarcastically, quickly stuffing her notebook into her backpack. "I was saving it for this hot football player.." I snorted, pulling out my lunch.
        "Darn, I must have competition."
        "Huh?" She looked up and my gaze held hers for a while.
        "Roxy.. these feelings.. we need to talk about them." She nodded, looking frightened.
        "I want.." I began, trying to figure out how to get the words from my brain to my mouth. "I want.. you."
        "What are you-"
        "I want you to be mine." I pushed them all out at once, as my heart was pounding. "Will you?"
        She was silent for a moment. "You mean it?"
        I nodded. "This is.. new to me, so I might be bad at it, and… this is going to be hard, for.. for both of us. Will you protect me, if I promise to protect you?"
        Roxy looked up at me, a new ambition in her eyes. "Yes."
        "Will you be my girlfriend?"
        "Double yes." I hugged her tightly. I wasn't ready to be "out" or to kiss her in public, but neither was she. It was going to be a process. It was entirely a new world to me, but it didn't seem as scary now, not with Roxy's fingers intertwined with mine under the table.

Description
Chapter 7

Roxy
-----------

        She was kissing me. Luna was really kissing me. I froze in my spot, getting lost and scared and amazed at the same time. She finally eased away from me, and I just stared, still frozen. I had to know. Luna, are you for real?
        She looked up at me, her wide green eyes unsure of everything she had just done. "Roxy.. I'm scared. I didn't know I could feel this way for a girl, but no kiss with a guy has ever felt so.. I don't know."
        "Y-Yeah." I nodded. I had never kissed anyone, boy or girl, so I could never even imagine it. She took my hands in hers. I was scared too. I never thought anything would come out of this impossible crush. It still can't, I reminded myself. I'm terrible.
        "I need.. time to think about this all, sort out my brain," she continued.
        I nodded again. "Yeah." I understood. She made her way to her class, and as I walked to mine, my brain couldn't seem to come back down to earth.

        All day, she consumed my thoughts. I wanted to kiss her again, and now I couldn't deny it. What would that mean for my life? My reputation? …My family… I supposed it could be a secret. No one had to know.
        I didn't really know. All I knew was that I wanted her. This feeling was crazy. Would she want me too? Would I lose her if she didn't?

--------
Luna
--------

        I didn't know it was actually possible.. being.. gay.. but in a way it made sense. With guys, something always felt.. wrong. I thought it was just the guy I was with.. but..
        I didn't know how people would react. Would the people I always talked to think I was weird?
        The whole ordeal gave me a headache. I just.. I don't know. I like her. Why is it so complicated?

        I stayed after school to practice the new orchestra music. The music room was empty, give or take a few people coming in and out to get instruments. As much as I played through the songs, I just wasn't.. there. I sighed audibly, loosened my bow and packed up my violin.

                                        * * * * * * * *

        I trudged in the door and set my violin case down on the living room table. I took notice to a sticky note on the table and picked it up. It was obviously from my mom in her cramped handwriting.

        Luna,
        I went out with Aunt Maria. Be home later. Lock the door and don't have anyone over.
                        -Mom
PS: Roxy called.

        She acted like I was five. I threw the note away and locked myself in my room.
        Alone.. I pulled my old friend out of its case and strummed the strings. Alice was out of tune. I adjusted the pegs until it sounded just right, and searched my case for my pick. My room was messy as always, but as I began to play, everything around me seemed to fade out. I was barely conscious of myself singing.
        After about two hours of just being lost in the melody, my fingers ached and I took in a breath, coming back to my room. I realized that was what her kiss was like. I was somewhere else. Not here. Somewhere amazing.
        Her soft lips were like no male's. They brought a feeling of warmth to me, and she at first almost struggled, but then let herself go. I forgot about all the complications of life, and just for that moment hoped she felt how I did. Whether or not I wanted to admit that, I didn't know.
        After playing my guitar though, I was relaxed. I managed to get some homework done and made mac n cheese for dinner. As time passed, I stayed away from the phone, which didn't ring anyways.
        Roxy, I do want to be with you. I'm just afraid of what's in store, I thought. I hoped she understood my need to have the day to myself, to clear my brain.
        I plopped onto my bed, which was on the floor with no bed frame. I liked it better that way anyways. Junk couldn't pile up under my bed then. I was extremely exhausted and my eyelids felt heavy, so it wasn't hard to fall asleep. The sounds of the fans in my room lulled me into slumber.

                                      * * * * * * *

        I awoke, head nuzzled under the blanket, grabbing at random spots on my floor to turn off the now buzzing alarm. I wondered vaguely if yesterday had been a dream. I could remember her kiss clearly, though, and I wanted it again. I wanted her. She was beautiful. She was so delicate and soft. I just wanted to know. Everything about her intrigued me.
        I can't lie to myself, I thought, dragging my body out of bed and stumbling around blindly searching for clothes. I settled on a pair of jeans that were aligned to make my legs look skinny and a black shirt with colorful music notes. I'll find her today.

        The day dragged on, even slower than usual. Every period droned on and on and I would hurry out to find her after, but no luck. Today just wasn't my day. I scanned the hallways for that compelling, sad face, but nothing. Maybe she was absent.. Or maybe she was avoiding me now.
        Or, I reasoned, I'm just being stupid and overreacting because I haven't seen her. I sighed, dragging myself into fifth period nearly late. It was a notes period in English. At this moment, I decided I didn't really care about Beowulf and laid my head down on the desk.
        My thoughts automatically led to Roxy, and I felt embarrassed, but I imagined her face, down to the very last detail; her thin, soft lips, her wide, expressive eyes, her small ears, that little mole on her neck, and I imagined that face smiling at me, so light and radiant, and with that thought, the melody I played on my guitar came to mind, and now words appeared..
        Pretty girl, pretty girl / Sitting all alone / Chocolate eyes gaze upon me / And I turn to stone / Trapped and pained, in the dark / I wish to be your light / So come to me, stay with me / And we'll escape the night..

        The bell startled me. I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep on my desk. I groaned and shuffled out of my seat. I could tell there would be one of those marks on my face from sleeping on my hand. I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder and hurried out, heading to the cafeteria for the first time this week.
        I rushed down three flights of stairs, although I was pretty much convinced she wouldn't be there. I was amazed to see her sitting alone at the lunch table, writing something.
        "This seat taken?" I joked casually, sitting down at my rightful spot next to her.
        "Oh yeah," she said sarcastically, quickly stuffing her notebook into her backpack. "I was saving it for this hot football player.." I snorted, pulling out my lunch.
        "Darn, I must have competition."
        "Huh?" She looked up and my gaze held hers for a while.
        "Roxy.. these feelings.. we need to talk about them." She nodded, looking frightened.
        "I want.." I began, trying to figure out how to get the words from my brain to my mouth. "I want.. you."
        "What are you-"
        "I want you to be mine." I pushed them all out at once, as my heart was pounding. "Will you?"
        She was silent for a moment. "You mean it?"
        I nodded. "This is.. new to me, so I might be bad at it, and… this is going to be hard, for.. for both of us. Will you protect me, if I promise to protect you?"
        Roxy looked up at me, a new ambition in her eyes. "Yes."
        "Will you be my girlfriend?"
        "Double yes." I hugged her tightly. I wasn't ready to be "out" or to kiss her in public, but neither was she. It was going to be a process. It was entirely a new world to me, but it didn't seem as scary now, not with Roxy's fingers intertwined with mine under the table.