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Panmiro β IMO
by-nc-sa
Published: 2011-07-27 01:19:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 264; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 5
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Description
"I" is such a lonely wordfor lonely tongues and lonely pens;
One light syllable rolling too easily
onto that blasΓ© page,
filled with angst and mortality,
with "thees" and "thous" and "verilys"
with papercuts 'cross clichΓ© wrists
and gambles played with hearts as chips.
Those formulaic odes to self
all begin with "I"
So don't use "I" or "my" or "me"
for I pity emo poetry
Comments: 14
I also think spelling "Emo" as "Imo" was a great way to drive the nail home with your satire hammer.
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Thanks, I also used IMO as an abbreviation: "in my opinion". I think the double, possibly treble, entendre fits nicely and I'm glad you noticed it.
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Oh, I didn't even read into the acronym. I don't use that much text-speak, so forgive my obliviousness.
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No problem, it's meant to be understood on at most three levels, understanding it at two levels is good enough
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I like this poem a lot. I think the message came across very clearly. I find that the line that says "papercuts 'cross clichΓ© wrists" was particularly clever and powerful. I liked your use of vocabulary. I did indeed start every one of my sentences with "I". I suppose I was feeling antagonistic as I wrote this, haha. I always enjoy your poetry c:
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Hahaha, thank you for the ironic parallelism, it's much appreciated in a comment X) and to tell you the truth, that line kind of worried me after I wrote it, I like it. I think it's a great focal point, but I also worry that it's callous... which is all right I suppose, because the whole poem is slightly callous. As long as someone enjoys it and I get clever comments I'm happy.
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Yeah, it does come off as callous, but I think that functions well with your subject matter. It emphasises the message.
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Thanks, as long as it works.
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I enjoyed this poem, but I was thinking the same thing as the previous person who commented. After reading your reply, though, I took note of the irony of your "I" statement and thought that was clever. Anyway, good job!
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Thanks, if there's anyway I can make it seem clever without the explanation I'd love to know. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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I get what you're saying, and dislike emo poetry as well, but I think it's possible to write a "non-emo" poem that heavily uses "I". There's nothing wrong with self-exploration or analysis. It can be very satisfying as an artist, and also make for some good work.
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I agree. It's the essence of using "I" that I'm talking about, not necessarily the action. I find that (often) good work is relatable, that everyone can put a little bit of themselves into it and anyone can pick a little bit of themselves out of it. Tons of the best poems use "I" as a mechanical construct, but not necessarily as the theme of their piece. I find that a poem becomes "Emo", when not only the mechanics, but also the message are all about the condition of the writer without relating it in any meaningful way to the conditions of others except to criticize them (often) for having better lives. So in this case (I suppose), "I" represents a state of mind, not merely a monosyllable. I hope that came across at least a bit in my poem (noting that I used "I" at the end: Irony 
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Thanks
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