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Panthserv — Warcraft II #1
Published: 2014-01-19 12:12:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 599; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 0
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Description Warcraft II #1
or
"The Bridge of Ice"

NOTE: All puds played in this series will have all options set to Map Default. Also, no cheat codes are used so we don't get flagged a "Cheater".

Remember when I uploaded Warcraft II Alpha Stupidity screenshots? Turns out that in the final game, the AI is very stupid at times. This series aims to show how stupid the AI is, and what a real player should do instead. The first thing you should know is that there are three different AI levels normally: Land AI, Sea AI, and Air AI. Now Icebridge is the first pud we'll take a look at. We begin with 1000 of each resource, a peon, and a farm. I know that there is no need to get Grunts (early-game melee unit) so I planned on getting up my Barracks, then going to Stronghold at 12 peons. I would get my Lumber Mill and Blacksmith later on after I had more money to work with. So I had five on lumber and one or two on gold. I then got up my Ogre Mound so I could train Ogres (mid-game melee unit). By the way, I did not repair-build anything because it eats up too much resources. When money is this tight, you can't afford to waste anything. Same thing applies in every other RTS game as well. So the blacksmith finishes and I upgrade my weapons followed by my throwing axes. When the weapon upgrade finished, I went to get my first shield upgrade. I got the second throwing axes upgrade too. My first mine ran out of gold at that time, so I sent my peons to my second (and last) gold source. Then I built my first ogre. My lone enemy didn't attack me at all during that time, so I wondered what he was doing. A real player would have grunt rushed me out of the game, and I hadn't built a tower yet because I don't need any. At this point I decided to go upgrade to Fortress seeing as how I had the resources. This is really risky, because my mine has 16,000 left in it. So this, plus all my trees, have to be enough for me to kill the enemy. Death Knights (orc spellcasters) and Death and Decay (area of effect attack in a 5x5 area) were both out of the question. My army consisted of only four Ogres (Level 5) and an Axethrower (Level 3). Troll Berserker training was out of the question because all it would do is give 10 HP to my axemen, and I wouldn't have enough gold to get lighter axes (+1 range) and troll regeneration. So I got up my Altar of Storms as soon as I could. This building lets the Orcs upgrade their Ogres into Ogre Mages and research their two spells for 1000 gold apiece. The second the Ogre-Mage upgrade was done, I researched Bloodlust. In the meantime, I was adding more Axethrowers and Ogres to my army. I then decided to get runes. The AI still hadn't attacked me. I wondered what was taking him so long. As my gold mine was being finished off, I got more Axethrowers and Ogre-Mages. When my gold mine ended, I had 8030 gold, 2000 lumber, and 25/25 food. I decide that 25 is enough and send my units on their way through the ice bridge. The first encounter was an Elven Destroyer. After killing it with three bloodlusted axethrowers, I continued on my way up, then came across a destroyer, an archer, and a Ballista. I killed the archer with my ogres, charged the ballista and got it dead. I bloodlusted three trolls, but lost two of them to the Destroyer. Damn. So I had to replace them. So I used my Eye of Kilrogs to scout... when I found some peasants in front of the gold mine blocked out of it. Hahahaha. Stupid AI. That is what happens when you don't give them enough room to harvest gold. I then took care of another two destroyers with my Trolls. I sank another Destroyer without losing a troll. Then I had to face like two battleships. One shot took down THREE of my axemen at the same time! Then my computer suddenly froze in the middle of the game. DOH. So I had to reboot it. This time I decide to build two new farms and get more axemen and ogres. I realized that I  could take the mine in the middle and get more gold out of it, allowing me to go for Death Knights after all! I meade all my Peons that had nothing to do go to the mine, chop some trees, then build a Great Hall there. I repair built it and the enemy peasants stood there doing NOTHING. Hahaha. No peon wars. No peons attacked my army. They could not do a thing. All I had to do was make my army surround the mine until it gave out so the enemy could not steal my gold. I researched Haste and Death and Decay for the DKs after building one. I got up as many DKs as I could. I then used Death and Decay to kill the two battleships without getting in range. When the last gold mine was depleted, I had 21K gold. I decided to start pumping Death Knights since I had enough Ogre-Mages to protect them all. I then saw that all he had were some peasants, two footmen, a KEEP, and some farms. Wow. What a scrub. No wonder he was so far behind. Anyway, after killing my peasants, I moved my Death Knights up the path. The three footmen charged, MISFIRED, and ran back to their Keep. So I bloodlusted nine of my Ogres and charged the Footmen. I killed all three of them. So basically I counted all my units. I had 24 Death Knights, 18 Ogre-Mages, and 10 Axethrowers. I also had a peon in the bottom-right corner for some reason. So I ordered all my Death Knights to Death and Decay the buildings. Every farm fell, followed by his mill. It left his Barracks and Keep, so I made my Ogres surround the hall. Every time a peasant popped out, I killed it. I kept this up until he had no gold, then destroyed his Keep and mashed "V" for Victory. Hahahaha. I win.

The End

Hmmm. Pathetic. So I looked at the map in PUDDraft and found out that the AI was set to Passive. See what happens when you don't attack? You basically let the other player(s) get whatever they want. They can get more and more units and eventually outproduce you. They could even get expansions very easily and possibly dominate the whole map. Next time on Warcraft II, we're going to look at possibly the only time the AI has a chance to beat you.

This is my reaction to S4E10 of MLP:FiM. This one's called "Rainbow Falls". So before we begin, Meghan McCarthy recently said on Twitter: "Just realized I can predict the exact time some bronies will lose their minds this Saturday." We also enter at seven charges in our raygun. The cold opening shows us Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy with the YEAH pony. Apparently, according to Rainbow Dash, this is the second episode in Season 4 that has to do with the Equestria Games. "Do I need to remind you how much... Ponyville?" What the hell is up with that? "Wants to qualify and make it to the games." "Bring it on!" Suddenly, Pinkie Pie shows up in a cheer-leading outfit. "YEAH!" "Make sure we have one ready when we QUALIFY. Suddenly, Applejack shows up too. So good. Four of six down. Looks like those are apple muffins and three of the ponies are eating them as Rainbow Dash facehoofs. Hahahaha. "Show me what you got!" "I wanna see all four hooves off the ground at the count of three." Turns out that the while pegasus can't fly worth a damn." We get a pretty long cold opening this time, as at 119 seconds in, the screen fades out then fades into the title sequence. Oh and by the way, the video is in really really nice quality, and it's not out of sync. So now we're back. We see Rainbow Dash with Princess Twilight Sparkle (YES!!) and two other pegasus ponies. "Too bad we can only compete in one event." "Good luck! It was nice of you to be part of the team that doesn't have the strongest flyers." "I know I can put up the slack for ANYPONY." "I am so proud to be representing Ponyville. Then Rarity shows up. YES. She's here too. Perfect attendance by the main six. We are now in some town of rainbows. New locations FTW. Anyway, we see many Pegasus ponies there working out. "There's Rainbow Dash! She's an awesome flyer." Then we get to see THE WONDERBOLTS for the first time in QUITE AWHILE. "The wonderbolts know a winner when we see one!" "And um... I with her! Hurray!" Seeing as how Twilight now has wings, she can compete in the events. "Where can I get pom-poms like those." So Rainbow Dash says they want to qualify. The big white pony tries to fly, but he gets hit by a cake. Oops. Stupid Applejack! "Hooves up, cakes up!" Hahahaha. "The passing of the baton needs to be seamless." Let's look up the word seamless at The Free Dictionary, which has served over 6.207 billion visitors. The word seamless means having no seams (Bang! "I didn't know!") or perfectly consistent. "And whatever you do, don't let go of it!" "Are you really really sure you're ready?" "Ready!" Flutterfly drops it and Rarity walks off with it. "WE WERE USING IT!" Geez. No need to yell at the perfect white unicorn. "Some ponies have a better chance at qualifying than others." We get a close up at Twilight's face, then we see this. "Watch and learn!" We learn that the Wonderbolts are Rainbow Dash's heroes (ever since she first mentioned them ALL THE WAY BACK in S1E1). "Please learn something!" Packets, packets! One of the wonderbolts falls TOWARDS THE SCREEN, and at 459 seconds, we go to our first break time. Kind of early if you ask me. Rainbow Dash saves it at the last second and the crowd salutes. "You scooped Soarin' out of the sky." His wings hurt, but it'll be okay by the competition. "You're the best, Rainbow Dash." Then the white pegasus screams again and Fluttershy whispers something into his ear. So now Rainbow Dash talks to her heroes and she is not sure. She can't decide wether to join the Wonderbolts or her friends. So Spitfire (who is a lot nicer now) performs a CALL BACK to S3E7, Wonderbolts Academy. It's the first episode where Pinkie Pie "magically" got her mouth back after the events of S3E5. "I did kick some major tail." "Who says they need to know? Think about it Rainbow Dash." So she can't decide, and she accepts. I hope the others do not find out." We hear some Rocky-like montage music as we see the world's fastest pegasus fly through some hoops. Looks like Twilight noticed her however. Uh-oh. The white pegasus crashes through something, and he and Fluttershy crash into something. Fluttershy is unable to do wing-ups (push-ups), while Rainbow Dash flies to get some water. Twilight notices her again, and she's like, what the hay is going on here?  So now her goggles, hooves, and tail are squeaky clean. Then she goes near a lake and drinks from it with her hoof. At that moment, Twilight suddenly appears and says, "It's not easy practicing with two teams, isn't it?" Hahahaha. I love how Rainbow Dash spat out water there. I also love the look in Twilight's eyes. "You know?" She knows. Gulp. "It's so much fun working out with the winners than the non-winners." "Got a minute?" "Sure." So now Rainbow Dash wants to join Cloudsdale FOREVER. Big complicated moment." "Their chance of qualifying for the games are slim." "So what's it going to be?" "Take some time to think about it." "They WANT ME TO FLY WITH THEM?!" "If you fly for Cloudale, we won't have any pony to cheer for." "I really wanna fly with the best team? What would you do?" She turns her back and trots out of the scene. "The race is tomorrow." Stupid Twilight.  Stupid stupid stupid. Oh and by the way,as we head into our second break time at 816 seconds in, this episode is missing something. I wish it had been one second more for 13:37. Damn. 501 seconds to go. Turns out that Rainbow Dash got badly injured for no reason whatsoever. "I hurt my hoof." Pinkie Pie and Rarity gasp, while Twilight gets angry. I call total ********. Why couldn't we see that on-screen? Is it because this is a kids show? It would have been really funny to see. "I tripped on a phone hoof and landed on... on and on..." Due to the pitch of Rainbow Dash's voice, I can't make out what she's saying. Pinkie Pie gets angry and start yelling. "There is no way I can fly now." I just need a little rest." This is a call-back to S2E16 when Rainbow Dash crashed into an off-screen object right at the cold opening's ending. The three main ponies there were Pinkie Pie and Rarity, followed by Twilight joining them like 2-3 seconds later. Turns out that everything is wrong. "This'll cure everything." "So Rarity gets something purple out and it's a bow. "How's our patent doing?" "I've been better. We're so sorry you're hurt. We'll be alright. We even have a replacement. OH MY GOD. It's DERPY HOOVES! OH MY GGOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! I bet the fandom rejoiced at Derpy's sudden return at the 929 second mark. "We're so sorry you can't compete. "If we qualify, you can have ours because we know how much a gold medal means for you." "I think Rainbow Dash might need to rest some more." "Choosing not to choose is a decision." "You sure have nice friends." "Well hopefully your wings will be better soon." Then we hear a sound cue right out of Sonic Rainboom while Soarin' and Rainbow Dash are talking about how nice friends she has and the wings. Suddenly a rainbow flies to the flags, and we're in a translation. "I don't think we're going to qualify." Derpy shrugs. "What am I gonna do with all 'em now." Suddenly the injured Rainbow Dash returns. "Is that Rainbow Dash... walking?" Yes it is.. for no reason. *slams fist on desk*. "I faked my injuries because I couldn't decide whether to fly with Ponyville or Cloudsdale. "It was too hard." "You don't have to choose us. You should go to the team that sure will." Looks like she's going to ponyville. It's where she and her friends are. The ponies that care about me. "Are you sure that's the right decision." "You lied to me about Soarin's wing." Spitfire says, "Rainbow Dash, you are something." "Ready to fly? Really?" "Come on Ponyville, we got a race to win." Now we get a race segment. "Come on PONYVILLE! YOU CAN DO IT!" "GO FLUTTERSHY!" The world's fastest pony helps her team qualify successfully (barely) as we fall below 120 seconds in the episode. Spitfire gives Rainbow Dash a badge and take off. Overall, this episode was very good."Equestrian Games, here we come!" I doubt that's going to happen until the season finale. So now Rainbow Dash is writing something as we're back in the library. The episode ends, sadly. Overall, this episode was somewhat good. I liked the lesson and how Derpy Hooves reappeared. I can tell you three things that made me slam my 10 pound kettle-ball to the ground, nearly breaking it. First off, Derpy Hooves had ZERO lines at all. Zero. What's the point of putting a character in if they have no lines? Second, Rainbow Dash faking her injuries was total bull and should have never happened to begin with. Also, Twilight has wings. Why doesn't she use them, for God's sake!? Third, and worst of all, is the total absence of Spike. AGAIN. It's not funny! I like this character a lot! He hasn't gotten a lot of on-screen time recently (only appeared in the cold opening in S4E9 as of recently), and that's not going to help! One more cell goes into the raygun, making it eight charges now. Also, I almost got "unlucky" and almost had to load an extra charge into my raygun. I estimate that I have a long marathon of DT and BD on my hands around May 10, 17, 24, or 31, depending on how many "breaks" we have to suffer through. 10 down, 16 to go! I have to play Brutal Doom to take out my rage. See you next time.
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