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Unwanted flower Chapter 4
Something we've forgotten

I've accepted how no one answers me.
Each time I ask something. Each time I call for someone, something... The silence, which is thrown at me... I've accepted it.
I've accepted how everyone have their backs turned against me.
But just because I've learned to accept, doesn't mean I've learned to be satisfied.
There's something missing, and it leaves me feeling so unsatisfied...
I wonder if I'm deaf.

"..."

"..."

"..."

Remember how Deidara had described the room as cozy? Chill? Really nice and all 'home-like'?
... He took all of it back now.
It was SILENT. AWKWARD. AND...
Blushing...?
Wait...

"... OhholymotherofJesus..."

So. Here I'm standing.
In the bathroom, with Sasori in-between my two legs. Under them. That must be a pretty terrifying sight for him...

Hidan has this panicked look on his face, and he looked speechless. Like Sasori had just thrown me out a window or something.
Now, he didn't know Sasori wasn't gazing up on a penis. NOT a vagina.

About Sasori...
He was pale.

Pale as fuck. But with slightly rosy cheeks.
Like snow-white!
...

And I... I don't... Know...
I could have felt more startled than this, but I actually felt... Well... Less scared than I should. Until I heard Sasori say something about Jesus, before he covered his eyes with his arms, biting his bottom lip.

"OhdeargodWHATTHEFLYINGFUCK."

Only then I realized, perhaps I should move away!?
Why was I just standing here? Being all like 'yeah check out my sexy penis, isn't it sexy?'

No thanks.

"U-uh..." with flushed cheeks, Deidara moved away and... He... He didn't know what to do. With Hidan standing by the floor, Sasori lying on it and Deidara... Standing... There...

"YOU'RE A HE?!" The redhead shot up from where he was lying, staring at Deidara with wide brown eyes. Well, as wide as Sasori's eyes could get.

"I- Uhm..." The blonde mumbled, seeing Hidan wake up from his daze.

"Sasori, what the fuck are you saying?! YOU FUCKING PERVERT, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER!?"

"HER!?" Standing up, Sasori glared at Hidan, looking at him as if he was talking bullshit. Which he actually was... "YOU MEAN HIM."
"Un, I tried to-"

"I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!"

"OH SHUT UP!"

"The voice was waaaay to motherfucking manly to be a woman's voice! I just knew it! Way to husky!"

"IF YOU KNEW IT ALL ALONG, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY IT!?"

"DO YOU THINK I'D TAKE A BLONDE BARBIE HAIRED PERSON FOR A GUY!? TELL ME, SASORI, DO YOU THINK SO!?"

"T-"

"JUST NOW WHEN SH- HE'S ALL SHOWERED AND SHIT I CAN SEE HE'S ACTUALLY A GUY! HOW WOULD I HAVE KNOWN BACK THEN!?"

"A guy... But maybe..."

"WHAT THE FUCK NOW?!"

"Perhaps... He... She... Shemale...?"

Staring at the two with his bright blue eyes, Deidara listened to their endless yelling, feeling a bit insecure.
He didn't really know what to say. Like many times.

Was him being a guy a bad thing? He couldn't quite understand why it would be.
Maybe they only wanted a girl? But why? That sounded so wrong. Only accepting girls... Why would they?
Sasori seemed so... Confused and frustrated. Angry? No not angry, but he... He was yelling so...

It was a little bit scary.

And... What was a shemale?

This was scary and it was also making Deidara furious.

He felt offended. Should you feel offended by your so called 'friends'? 'Family'?

Whatever he tried to say, the other two didn't listen. Hidan cut him off, Sasori was occupied with listening to Hidan and...
He was so fucking tired of it.

Hey, maybe... If he did like Hidan and Sasori were doing. They could hear each other without problem. Yeah, he should try!
Let's see, he'd make his voice sound angry, upset, frustrated... Just like them.

Hoping it would work, Deidara swallowed, before yelling in a serious, outraged tone; "IS IT A PROBLEM!? ME BEING A MAN?!"

Both Sasori and Hidan almost had a heart-attack, hearing...

Deidara?
Deidara?

Did he just yell?
Did he just... Sound... Angry?
Was that really rage they were hearing, in his voice?

Now, all that confusion wiped away for a moment. Sasori was left feeling guilt.
Realizing how wrong it had been. Reacting like that, in front of Deidara. Oh god, he was so fucking dumb. Such an idiot. Damn he had really messed up.

He did not want to hear Deidara upset like this.
He had meant to make Deidara feel like home. Accepted.

"No! Definitely not, I just..."

Hidan frowned, feeling the same kind of guilt as Sasori. More light, but, it was still there. "It came as a shock."

"I tried telling you!!"
Oh god this felt so damn good.
"I REALLY DID BUT YOU NEVER LET ME!"
Throwing out his feelings like this... Wow, it felt like he was loosing so much weight. Weight that he shouldn't be carrying. Weight that had been stuck on him, now finally letting go.
"YOU ALWAYS CUT ME OFF, HIDAN! SO STOP ACTING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG."

Hidan frowned, staring at the man who was yelling at him.
It was frightening. Having that blonde angry at you.
It was surprisingly frightening.
Like you were being judged. Now, only Jashin could judge. But this was...

"I'm sorry... Un..."

Perhaps screaming had been a bad and impolite thing to do. But It had felt good. This was a new feeling and Deidara didn't know how to describe it in a way that made sense. Really.
He could only be rather confused over what he had just said and done. Deidara turned his head down. Eyes now downcast, he held his face in his hands.
Was that wrong of him? Screaming at them like that?

This was all Deidara's fault... He was being so selfish. Yelling at the people who were giving him a place to live and food to eat and... Who the hell did that?
He had yelled at them just like that? Wonderful, Deidara, good work.
They probably hated him even more now. More than they ever could. Deidara swore they did.
So, if they were going to throw him out, Deidara guessed he'd have to live with it. He wouldn't even be surprised. But... He didn't really want it to happen... He had... Started to like these guys and...

"There's nothing to be sorry about." Smiling a bit, Sasori put a hand on the blonde's bare shoulder, feeling the skin being so soft and clean for the first time. "We didn't... We didn't mean to over-react like that."
This was all just happening so quickly...

"Yeah, Sasori's a drama-queen sometimes."

"HIDAN!? I'M NOT!!"

"See?"

Instantly, Deidara knew who that hand belonged to. Before he had even started talking. Before Deidara had even looked at him.
Deidara kenw it was Sasori. He was happy it was.
"I'm sorry." Deidara repeated.
What else to say? He didn't know! He was just sorry. He knew Sasori didn't want him to say it, but he had to. He just... He...

"Hah, he's not listening to you anymore, fuck-face..."

Sasori who had finally turned serious; FINALLY; gave the Jashinist an unamused look, shaking his head in disappointment. He knew very well, Hidan was Hidan. But Hidan should know better. This wasn't really a moment to joke...

Even if Deidara showed up to be a strong, stubborn person, he was clearly mentally unstable. And it was definitely not weird that he was.

It was difficult imagining how it felt like. Being sexually abused. It really was. But couldn't the Jashinist even try to understand the feelings of the blonde a bit?
"Hidan, could you please get out?"

Just as Hidan was about to use some sort of come-back about how Sasori was a pervert for wanting to stay in the same room as a naked woman and 'talk', he remember... Penis. Guy. Right. Fuck.
Well, Sasori might be bi. Or even homo. He didn't really know, Sasori had never been interested in relationships.

Perhaps he'd have a girlfriend or two but it wasn't like he had been close enough to them for Hidan being able to remember their names.
But he had dated. Guys? Hmm... No idea. "Man, come on, why do I have to get out!?"

"Just leave."

"Fuck you, I'm gonna go eat."
With that, Hidan left to the fucking kitchen. And just at that fucking moment he realized he had fucking thought a fucking man was fucking attractive.
... Whoa.
He guessed it was chill though... It wasn't like he had thought of banging him.

...

... Okay now he had...

Turning his head back to Deidara, as soon as Hidan was gone, Sas-
Sa...
Sas... So... Ri... Uhm...

That day when Sasori had found him. The day he had brought him to this particular house... He had... Done something. Some sort of really weird action. And that action had made Deidara feel... Calm. In some way.
Only now he realized why he felt this special kind of feeling towards Sasori.
Thinking of the moment he had put his arms around him. And Deidara had done the same. It had felt amazingly good.

Touching someone else was a really weird, un-welcome thing in Deidara's mind. But with Sasori, he knew everything was okay. It was okay to at least give him a...

A hug?
What the-
Blushing a bit, Sasori was quite surprised as he was put in such a sudden embrace. A very warm, soft and gentle embrace, if he may add.
"Hey..."
"I didn't mean to yell."

Admitting that, Deidara didn't know if Sasori was feeling uncomfortable. Because he tensed up as soon as the hug had tightened.
But after a few seconds, right when Deidara was about to let go and apologize for... Doing... This? Sasori returned the gesture, sighing as he copied the blonde's actions, making it a warm, perfect embrace by putting his own arms around he-HIM.

Feeling his heart beat slightly faster, Deidara felt nothing but relived. Relieved and very calm. Then again, relieved and calm were pretty much the same things, weren't they? Well... Kind of, right? Okay fine stop it...

"You know... It's alright. Hidan is right, I did over-react..." Sasori should be the one, apologizing. A real apology. "I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, Deidara. Forgive me?"
And I'm also sorry for staring at your genitals but let's not talk about that.

W-was he asking for an apology!? From... But... What?!
Sheesh. Deidara didn't really know what do say. He felt... Honored? No idea why but Sasori asking him for an apology made him feel... Special. "I-It's fine, un!"
As long as they wouldn't talk about what Sasori had actually 'seen', Deidara guessed it was fine, b-because-

Damn it, Deidara probably also wanted an apology for what Sasori had actually 'seen'... "And, I... Uhm..."
But... BUT IT WAS SO AWKWARD, WHILE HUGGING AND ALL...

"Un?"
"U-uhm..." Sasori blushed. Maybe saying it while hugging was better. At least Deidara wouldn't get to see Sasori's red cheeks...
"I'm also sorry about... Looking... I mean... I should have looked away... I-I mean I should have looked at all but Hidan pushed me and I- Uh..."

Wait a minute.
In all this... Stammering and stuttering... Deidara realized something. Weren't they...? Both...
"But Danna, it's not such a big deal, right? We're both guys." Or should they still feel embarrassed? Honestly, Deidara didn't really remember how that worked...

". . ."
Fuck.

Okay. Okay. Uhm. How was he going to explain this...?
'Yeah, usually that's how it would work. But you see, I'm gay.'

Wait... No...
Did Deidara even know what gay was?
'But you see, I'm a homosexual!'
... Nope. Weirder.
'But you see, I'm a fag!'
GOD NO. WHAT THE HELL.
'But you see, I enjoy dicks.'

...

"Yeah, but you see... I..."

I... What? ...Blinking, Deidara waited for the redhead to continue. Said redhead was silent for a while, before he shook his head a bit, laughing as he let go of the hug.
"I.. Kind of got to go to the toilet, so, why don't you go join Hidan- I mean, put on some clothes, then go join Hidan... He seemed a bit... I don't know, talk to him."
Go to the toilet? Pfft, no, not really. But he just... Yeah. Ahum.
He was just SMART. Shut up.
"Oh, okay."
"Yeah, sorry..."
"No, It's cool, un."

Nothing special happened after that.
Clothes were quickly changed, and Deidara took a little moment to take in the feeling of being clean. It felt fantastic. And now, both Sasori and Hidan knew about his true gender. So he didn't feel like he was lying anymore.

I know it's a bit weird, touching myself like this. Letting my palms run over my arms over and over again... It felt kind of creepy doing it, but I couldn't stop. This felt wonderful. I felt so, clean. Finally. Finally, looking at myself, didn't bring back any horrible memories.

I could see myself in the big mirror. With some real clothes on. I don't want to brag, but... I look pretty good, hehe.

"Hidan, un" Smiling, Deidara sat down next to the Jashinist. Much to his surprise, Hidan hadn't started eating at all. But... He said he would...
"Hey... Dei..." Hidan just smiled back.

He didn't care if Deidara was a boy or a girl. He respected her, whatever he was... Ugh, that sounded terribly cheesy, but still... "Sorry for freaking out."
"It's okay, Hidan."
"I'll try to give you more space to talk, next time... Sorry."
"Un."

"Let's have this awesome dinner then. Where the hell is firecrotch!?"

"Man, calm down." Laughing a bit, Sasori finally joined the other two. With all the tree of them now sitting by the table, they just... Well, there was a fleeting moment of silence, before Deidara coughed a bit, breaking it. It had been a nice silence, but... "I'm hungry, un."
"Let's fucking eat! Why the hell are we just sitting here?"
"I hope you'll like it, Danna..."
"I'm sure I will!"
"You better, fuckface..."

Deidara really loved how they didn't even mention anything about what had happened to him, or why he was here... They didn't mention anything about it. They ate while having small conservations about normal things.
Even if Hidan had wanted to make this dinner to make Deidara happy... To make him feel welcome, almost like a little celebration... They didn't mention the blonde at all. They all just talked together normally, like Deidara had been living there for years.

Hopefully he would.

This was very nice.

Deaf, blind... Whatever I am...
I don't think I care anymore.
I don't think it matters.
Because as long as I can talk, people will know,
That I am searching for an answer
Never will I hear one
But it's okay
As long as they know

Description
Unwanted flower Chapter 4
Something we've forgotten

I've accepted how no one answers me.
Each time I ask something. Each time I call for someone, something... The silence, which is thrown at me... I've accepted it.
I've accepted how everyone have their backs turned against me.
But just because I've learned to accept, doesn't mean I've learned to be satisfied.
There's something missing, and it leaves me feeling so unsatisfied...
I wonder if I'm deaf.

"..."

"..."

"..."

Remember how Deidara had described the room as cozy? Chill? Really nice and all 'home-like'?
... He took all of it back now.
It was SILENT. AWKWARD. AND...
Blushing...?
Wait...

"... OhholymotherofJesus..."

So. Here I'm standing.
In the bathroom, with Sasori in-between my two legs. Under them. That must be a pretty terrifying sight for him...

Hidan has this panicked look on his face, and he looked speechless. Like Sasori had just thrown me out a window or something.
Now, he didn't know Sasori wasn't gazing up on a penis. NOT a vagina.

About Sasori...
He was pale.

Pale as fuck. But with slightly rosy cheeks.
Like snow-white!
...

And I... I don't... Know...
I could have felt more startled than this, but I actually felt... Well... Less scared than I should. Until I heard Sasori say something about Jesus, before he covered his eyes with his arms, biting his bottom lip.

"OhdeargodWHATTHEFLYINGFUCK."

Only then I realized, perhaps I should move away!?
Why was I just standing here? Being all like 'yeah check out my sexy penis, isn't it sexy?'

No thanks.

"U-uh..." with flushed cheeks, Deidara moved away and... He... He didn't know what to do. With Hidan standing by the floor, Sasori lying on it and Deidara... Standing... There...

"YOU'RE A HE?!" The redhead shot up from where he was lying, staring at Deidara with wide brown eyes. Well, as wide as Sasori's eyes could get.

"I- Uhm..." The blonde mumbled, seeing Hidan wake up from his daze.

"Sasori, what the fuck are you saying?! YOU FUCKING PERVERT, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER!?"

"HER!?" Standing up, Sasori glared at Hidan, looking at him as if he was talking bullshit. Which he actually was... "YOU MEAN HIM."
"Un, I tried to-"

"I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!"

"OH SHUT UP!"

"The voice was waaaay to motherfucking manly to be a woman's voice! I just knew it! Way to husky!"

"IF YOU KNEW IT ALL ALONG, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY IT!?"

"DO YOU THINK I'D TAKE A BLONDE BARBIE HAIRED PERSON FOR A GUY!? TELL ME, SASORI, DO YOU THINK SO!?"

"T-"

"JUST NOW WHEN SH- HE'S ALL SHOWERED AND SHIT I CAN SEE HE'S ACTUALLY A GUY! HOW WOULD I HAVE KNOWN BACK THEN!?"

"A guy... But maybe..."

"WHAT THE FUCK NOW?!"

"Perhaps... He... She... Shemale...?"

Staring at the two with his bright blue eyes, Deidara listened to their endless yelling, feeling a bit insecure.
He didn't really know what to say. Like many times.

Was him being a guy a bad thing? He couldn't quite understand why it would be.
Maybe they only wanted a girl? But why? That sounded so wrong. Only accepting girls... Why would they?
Sasori seemed so... Confused and frustrated. Angry? No not angry, but he... He was yelling so...

It was a little bit scary.

And... What was a shemale?

This was scary and it was also making Deidara furious.

He felt offended. Should you feel offended by your so called 'friends'? 'Family'?

Whatever he tried to say, the other two didn't listen. Hidan cut him off, Sasori was occupied with listening to Hidan and...
He was so fucking tired of it.

Hey, maybe... If he did like Hidan and Sasori were doing. They could hear each other without problem. Yeah, he should try!
Let's see, he'd make his voice sound angry, upset, frustrated... Just like them.

Hoping it would work, Deidara swallowed, before yelling in a serious, outraged tone; "IS IT A PROBLEM!? ME BEING A MAN?!"

Both Sasori and Hidan almost had a heart-attack, hearing...

Deidara?
Deidara?

Did he just yell?
Did he just... Sound... Angry?
Was that really rage they were hearing, in his voice?

Now, all that confusion wiped away for a moment. Sasori was left feeling guilt.
Realizing how wrong it had been. Reacting like that, in front of Deidara. Oh god, he was so fucking dumb. Such an idiot. Damn he had really messed up.

He did not want to hear Deidara upset like this.
He had meant to make Deidara feel like home. Accepted.

"No! Definitely not, I just..."

Hidan frowned, feeling the same kind of guilt as Sasori. More light, but, it was still there. "It came as a shock."

"I tried telling you!!"
Oh god this felt so damn good.
"I REALLY DID BUT YOU NEVER LET ME!"
Throwing out his feelings like this... Wow, it felt like he was loosing so much weight. Weight that he shouldn't be carrying. Weight that had been stuck on him, now finally letting go.
"YOU ALWAYS CUT ME OFF, HIDAN! SO STOP ACTING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG."

Hidan frowned, staring at the man who was yelling at him.
It was frightening. Having that blonde angry at you.
It was surprisingly frightening.
Like you were being judged. Now, only Jashin could judge. But this was...

"I'm sorry... Un..."

Perhaps screaming had been a bad and impolite thing to do. But It had felt good. This was a new feeling and Deidara didn't know how to describe it in a way that made sense. Really.
He could only be rather confused over what he had just said and done. Deidara turned his head down. Eyes now downcast, he held his face in his hands.
Was that wrong of him? Screaming at them like that?

This was all Deidara's fault... He was being so selfish. Yelling at the people who were giving him a place to live and food to eat and... Who the hell did that?
He had yelled at them just like that? Wonderful, Deidara, good work.
They probably hated him even more now. More than they ever could. Deidara swore they did.
So, if they were going to throw him out, Deidara guessed he'd have to live with it. He wouldn't even be surprised. But... He didn't really want it to happen... He had... Started to like these guys and...

"There's nothing to be sorry about." Smiling a bit, Sasori put a hand on the blonde's bare shoulder, feeling the skin being so soft and clean for the first time. "We didn't... We didn't mean to over-react like that."
This was all just happening so quickly...

"Yeah, Sasori's a drama-queen sometimes."

"HIDAN!? I'M NOT!!"

"See?"

Instantly, Deidara knew who that hand belonged to. Before he had even started talking. Before Deidara had even looked at him.
Deidara kenw it was Sasori. He was happy it was.
"I'm sorry." Deidara repeated.
What else to say? He didn't know! He was just sorry. He knew Sasori didn't want him to say it, but he had to. He just... He...

"Hah, he's not listening to you anymore, fuck-face..."

Sasori who had finally turned serious; FINALLY; gave the Jashinist an unamused look, shaking his head in disappointment. He knew very well, Hidan was Hidan. But Hidan should know better. This wasn't really a moment to joke...

Even if Deidara showed up to be a strong, stubborn person, he was clearly mentally unstable. And it was definitely not weird that he was.

It was difficult imagining how it felt like. Being sexually abused. It really was. But couldn't the Jashinist even try to understand the feelings of the blonde a bit?
"Hidan, could you please get out?"

Just as Hidan was about to use some sort of come-back about how Sasori was a pervert for wanting to stay in the same room as a naked woman and 'talk', he remember... Penis. Guy. Right. Fuck.
Well, Sasori might be bi. Or even homo. He didn't really know, Sasori had never been interested in relationships.

Perhaps he'd have a girlfriend or two but it wasn't like he had been close enough to them for Hidan being able to remember their names.
But he had dated. Guys? Hmm... No idea. "Man, come on, why do I have to get out!?"

"Just leave."

"Fuck you, I'm gonna go eat."
With that, Hidan left to the fucking kitchen. And just at that fucking moment he realized he had fucking thought a fucking man was fucking attractive.
... Whoa.
He guessed it was chill though... It wasn't like he had thought of banging him.

...

... Okay now he had...

Turning his head back to Deidara, as soon as Hidan was gone, Sas-
Sa...
Sas... So... Ri... Uhm...

That day when Sasori had found him. The day he had brought him to this particular house... He had... Done something. Some sort of really weird action. And that action had made Deidara feel... Calm. In some way.
Only now he realized why he felt this special kind of feeling towards Sasori.
Thinking of the moment he had put his arms around him. And Deidara had done the same. It had felt amazingly good.

Touching someone else was a really weird, un-welcome thing in Deidara's mind. But with Sasori, he knew everything was okay. It was okay to at least give him a...

A hug?
What the-
Blushing a bit, Sasori was quite surprised as he was put in such a sudden embrace. A very warm, soft and gentle embrace, if he may add.
"Hey..."
"I didn't mean to yell."

Admitting that, Deidara didn't know if Sasori was feeling uncomfortable. Because he tensed up as soon as the hug had tightened.
But after a few seconds, right when Deidara was about to let go and apologize for... Doing... This? Sasori returned the gesture, sighing as he copied the blonde's actions, making it a warm, perfect embrace by putting his own arms around he-HIM.

Feeling his heart beat slightly faster, Deidara felt nothing but relived. Relieved and very calm. Then again, relieved and calm were pretty much the same things, weren't they? Well... Kind of, right? Okay fine stop it...

"You know... It's alright. Hidan is right, I did over-react..." Sasori should be the one, apologizing. A real apology. "I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, Deidara. Forgive me?"
And I'm also sorry for staring at your genitals but let's not talk about that.

W-was he asking for an apology!? From... But... What?!
Sheesh. Deidara didn't really know what do say. He felt... Honored? No idea why but Sasori asking him for an apology made him feel... Special. "I-It's fine, un!"
As long as they wouldn't talk about what Sasori had actually 'seen', Deidara guessed it was fine, b-because-

Damn it, Deidara probably also wanted an apology for what Sasori had actually 'seen'... "And, I... Uhm..."
But... BUT IT WAS SO AWKWARD, WHILE HUGGING AND ALL...

"Un?"
"U-uhm..." Sasori blushed. Maybe saying it while hugging was better. At least Deidara wouldn't get to see Sasori's red cheeks...
"I'm also sorry about... Looking... I mean... I should have looked away... I-I mean I should have looked at all but Hidan pushed me and I- Uh..."

Wait a minute.
In all this... Stammering and stuttering... Deidara realized something. Weren't they...? Both...
"But Danna, it's not such a big deal, right? We're both guys." Or should they still feel embarrassed? Honestly, Deidara didn't really remember how that worked...

". . ."
Fuck.

Okay. Okay. Uhm. How was he going to explain this...?
'Yeah, usually that's how it would work. But you see, I'm gay.'

Wait... No...
Did Deidara even know what gay was?
'But you see, I'm a homosexual!'
... Nope. Weirder.
'But you see, I'm a fag!'
GOD NO. WHAT THE HELL.
'But you see, I enjoy dicks.'

...

"Yeah, but you see... I..."

I... What? ...Blinking, Deidara waited for the redhead to continue. Said redhead was silent for a while, before he shook his head a bit, laughing as he let go of the hug.
"I.. Kind of got to go to the toilet, so, why don't you go join Hidan- I mean, put on some clothes, then go join Hidan... He seemed a bit... I don't know, talk to him."
Go to the toilet? Pfft, no, not really. But he just... Yeah. Ahum.
He was just SMART. Shut up.
"Oh, okay."
"Yeah, sorry..."
"No, It's cool, un."

Nothing special happened after that.
Clothes were quickly changed, and Deidara took a little moment to take in the feeling of being clean. It felt fantastic. And now, both Sasori and Hidan knew about his true gender. So he didn't feel like he was lying anymore.

I know it's a bit weird, touching myself like this. Letting my palms run over my arms over and over again... It felt kind of creepy doing it, but I couldn't stop. This felt wonderful. I felt so, clean. Finally. Finally, looking at myself, didn't bring back any horrible memories.

I could see myself in the big mirror. With some real clothes on. I don't want to brag, but... I look pretty good, hehe.

"Hidan, un" Smiling, Deidara sat down next to the Jashinist. Much to his surprise, Hidan hadn't started eating at all. But... He said he would...
"Hey... Dei..." Hidan just smiled back.

He didn't care if Deidara was a boy or a girl. He respected her, whatever he was... Ugh, that sounded terribly cheesy, but still... "Sorry for freaking out."
"It's okay, Hidan."
"I'll try to give you more space to talk, next time... Sorry."
"Un."

"Let's have this awesome dinner then. Where the hell is firecrotch!?"

"Man, calm down." Laughing a bit, Sasori finally joined the other two. With all the tree of them now sitting by the table, they just... Well, there was a fleeting moment of silence, before Deidara coughed a bit, breaking it. It had been a nice silence, but... "I'm hungry, un."
"Let's fucking eat! Why the hell are we just sitting here?"
"I hope you'll like it, Danna..."
"I'm sure I will!"
"You better, fuckface..."

Deidara really loved how they didn't even mention anything about what had happened to him, or why he was here... They didn't mention anything about it. They ate while having small conservations about normal things.
Even if Hidan had wanted to make this dinner to make Deidara happy... To make him feel welcome, almost like a little celebration... They didn't mention the blonde at all. They all just talked together normally, like Deidara had been living there for years.

Hopefully he would.

This was very nice.

Deaf, blind... Whatever I am...
I don't think I care anymore.
I don't think it matters.
Because as long as I can talk, people will know,
That I am searching for an answer
Never will I hear one
But it's okay
As long as they know