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paperheartsyndrome — promise to play this on silent
Published: 2009-10-09 19:16:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 7624; Favourites: 367; Downloads: 139
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hello—just promise me you’re listening.
since once you get used to being ignored for long enough, it’s nice to pretend that you could be something. that you could say something that matters. and that somewhere, someone is listening. and for now, i’ll make believe that you’ll make everything better. that the air will taste like sunshine even though it’s been raining for days. or that my heart isn’t disconnected and that maybe my lips will get the message. or even that for the next two and half minutes you’ll love me.
i’ll make believe.
i’ll make believe you.
i’ll make believe you care.
___
goodbye—
just promise me you’re leaving.
i know that once you get used to being nothing, it’s nice to pretend that you can actually be somebody’s something. the problem is you can’t or rather, i can’t. since i have this disappearing sickness, and i’ve been pretending for the last sixty three and a half days that i don’t exist. since everyone knows the best things in life aren’t really real. and just this one time, i want to be something so beautiful it hurts. i want to make a difference and know it. i want to be selfish and be okay with it. i want to believe that you even exist or that i do.
i want.
i want to not want.
i want to not want to disappear.
___
ps—
just promise me you’ll remember.
i know what it’s like to pretend you’re perfect. or to realize that you’re not even beautiful since nothing is up close. you’re standing three and half inches away from me, and i’m begging you to listen, to leave, to care. it’s like i want everything and nothing both at this exact moment. i want to love you and to hate you. or i want your hand in mine, but i don’t want you to touch me. i’m intentionally a mess so that i can pretend like it’s what holds me back. since tomorrow, instead of meeting you, i’m going to be making my hair into perfect waves so i can wear the ocean and drown before i find you. i’m going to be wiping shadows off the wall so that i don’t have to worry about what i’ll find in them. tomorrow, i’ll be ignoring the issue, but that’s not what i want. i don’t really want to get lost. it’s just what i do, but if you think you could love me, please come find me whoever you may be.
promise.
promise you’ll remember.
promise you’ll remember me.
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Comments: 251
eee. thank you times two. this makes me smile a whole lot.
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beautiful once again. everything you write is so ethereal. i love it.
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thank you!! i do my best (:
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I think I love this piece.
I really enjoy reading your work. It's so phenomenal.
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thank you so much!
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i’m going to be making my hair into perfect waves so i can wear the ocean
I really love that.
And I relate to the wanting/not wanting to hate/to like. It's exhausting.
This is fantastic (:
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sooooo exhausting.
and thank you so much. you're a complete sweetheart. (:
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You're very welcome, and thank you ^^
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thanks so much. <3
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awh,
youaretoosweet.
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you're such a sweetheart.
thank you, love.
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thanks so much! <3
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lol no prob ^^- i love the way you write!
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Thanks so much for this one. I've been having a hard time lately, and this finally let me break down. You caught just how I feel half the time.
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i'm glad to have done so.
thank you so much, sweetheart.
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but if you think you could love me, please come find me whoever you may be.
. perfect
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Its really good. It makes you think about what you want, what I really want.
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that's good to hear.
thank you.
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No, thanks to you.
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"it’s like i want everything and nothing both at this exact moment. i want to love you and to hate you. or i want your hand in mine, but i don’t want you to touch me. i’m intentionally a mess so that i can pretend like it’s what holds me back."
This reminds me so much of myself it's ridiculous. Once again, beautiful writing. I adore you! <3
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and i adore you.
(we're a lot the same then. since i could pick a section of something that i've written that is most me to the exactness that would be it.)
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Thank you! I must admit, your writing has insprired me the most out of all the writers I've seen on here. It has helped me to write more about the more difficult things in my life, then share them with the people they pertain to. It's difficult, but I'm so glad I have.
(It's hard to want one thing and not the opposite, I agree. I'd like to think that it's a hormonal or "growing-up" thing, but I think some people are just that way. Sorry about the rantage. Haha. I just don't meet many people who understand or feel the same way about it as I do.)
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I always feel like I never know what I'm saying 
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maybe there's too many words to say.
and thank you so much. i'm kinda hooked on repetition.
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i adore you. i adore this. tis speaks to meh in volumes..
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and i adore you. <3
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*yay*
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Your writing is gorgeous, and maybe momentarily breathtaking. I love how your words fit together like... legos (I needed to find a more fun comparison than puzzle pieces ^^). But they fit together in such a fluid way. I must now check out more of your gallery, as this is the second piece of yours I've read (I read one of your haiku a moment ago ^^)
And sorry this comment is so long - I've been trying to write more when commenting on pieces of writing lately.
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awh, you're a sweetheart.
and i like long comments. they make me smile.
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[haha sorry, I just think that little heart balloon guy is adorable ^^]
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[i think it's adorable too!]
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promise.
promise you’ll remember.
promise you’ll remember me.
that breaks my heart.
i love you.
i really do. <3
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kfjakjfad.
i love youuuuu so much.
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this is just soo...
its like u wrote down exactly how i feel
love it!!!
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Like everyone else who has read this, I'm going to say I love it. Everything fits together like the waves of the sea. It's wonderful.
Beautiful.
I would like to say I can relate to this, and in some ways I can. Though that isn't important.
You have an amazing way to make words sound like they are supposed to go together. Like them certain phrases and them certain words were made just for you to put them together and make this.
Wow doesn't that sound clishe. Even if it does I don't care because it's just great, I'm glad I read this.
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fajdlsfjhfdjafla.
i love that comment.
i'm completely speechless.
thank you.
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I'm glad you do because it's nothing but truth.
No, thank you.
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My freind told me to read this and it's the best thing i've read in so long !!!!
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aw, your friend's a sweetheart. and so are you.
thank you.
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^w^ Arr shucks !
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