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Penanggalan — Childhood

Published: 2009-12-28 10:27:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 4498; Favourites: 182; Downloads: 0
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Description This was vent art from 2009, even if this doesn't look it. Reminiscing about my childhood, prior to losing close members of my family and much of my innocence, made me feel a little bit better.
 Now it's 2015, my life has improved a thousand times over. '09 was a rough year for me. Everyone has them. Since, I've made new friends, reconnected with old family, gone to therapy and found that my biggest issue is not bpd or even depression, it's my poor self-esteem.
 I've since grown tremendously and found so much more purpose in my life, mostly by myself and on my own terms, but also in part thanks to my beautiful partners, loving family and caring doctors, all of whom encourage and believe in me, and know that I can be a strong and independent person while still keeping my childlike self and imagination intact.
 I'm faster with commissions, I make enough to support myself, my pets, and even my family and partners when they need it. No one knows just how much I've conquered in the past few years. No one but my family and friends, at least. I get to make money at a job that I love AND maintain the person I want to be and always have been, without fear, hesitation or guilt, which few people can truly say about themselves.
 I'm the luckiest person alive, and I'm finally starting to realize that I DO deserve the happiness I've found. And no one can take any of it away from me, no matter how hard they may try. The awful people from my past will never be able to touch me.
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Comments: 35

bear48 [2015-10-24 01:35:21 +0000 UTC]

sweet

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shrunkenone [2015-10-19 03:29:55 +0000 UTC]

Didn't realize it was an update; unfavorited by accident while attempting to favorite it.
Sorry about that, fixed & re-favorited, now. ^.^;

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CurseReaper [2015-10-18 21:53:51 +0000 UTC]

*biggest hugs*
And even amongst all these feels, the Gromble apparently still wants none of it. lol

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EcliptorCalrissian [2015-08-17 00:11:07 +0000 UTC]

 Even if I don't really know you beyond the fact that you make amazing art, it's great to hear that things have gotten better for you since then.

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bloodking30 [2013-09-14 17:18:34 +0000 UTC]

awww don't worry

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sampea [2013-01-19 19:17:14 +0000 UTC]

I know just how you feel...

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Maeria [2011-05-15 16:57:19 +0000 UTC]

I've been thinking of what to say about this picture for a really long time, but the bit of insight you gave us about your life, and the feelings it adds to the picture, break my heart. It's still a cute, tender sort of picure, but there's a knot in my throat from the nostalgia.

2009 was a tough year for me too. I got better. I hope things got better for you as well.

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LaceyMcDonald [2010-11-15 22:27:40 +0000 UTC]

I know how you feel about likeing yourself better when your young.

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Writer4Commissions [2010-08-20 18:28:55 +0000 UTC]

This is very sweet and art is so therapeutic. The pain we go through makes us better people and the struggles we have makes us understand other people better, including ourselves.

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lmenvs [2010-08-17 03:48:30 +0000 UTC]

This is amazing... and I know how that goes. You are definitely not alone.

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jiro-tu-emo-shi-shio [2010-05-06 08:10:32 +0000 UTC]

i relate 100%... my life has gotten really hard to deal with... growing up... the lose of my wife and daughter... the illness in my family... and the points that show me how stupid i truly am compared to others my age... i feel as if i have nothing that makes me special and that has been the defining thing that held my head down for years... and i know just how hard it is to let go of those feelings, but its the first thing a person has to do with there life to be able to move on and be happy.... it hurts now... and you should always take a second to morn, feel sad, be angry, or what ever you need to do.... but after that... we grow and learn that we can't be as care free as we once were.... and that is the true meaning of being an adult...in my honest opinion...

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KITTY-Z [2010-03-26 19:42:02 +0000 UTC]

Oh, you're singin' my song, babe.

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ArachnAsh [2010-02-25 06:38:26 +0000 UTC]

I can sympathize with you. And honestly, I find that art and music are some of the best ways to let our emotions out.
Like one of my morning coffee mugs say, "Emotions are like farts. You hold them in... and they hurt!"
Sometimes life doesn't seem like it's going to get any better, but that's not true. Just try to think positive, and things will get better. They always do.

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papa-paparazzi [2010-02-14 02:49:40 +0000 UTC]

This piece, coupled with your words, made me cry.

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WhiteRoseBrian [2010-02-05 21:11:05 +0000 UTC]

I'm sorry about your recent bout of angst. By the way, this is a fine picture.

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AiZicToXemia [2010-01-16 06:03:31 +0000 UTC]

I think your venting art is so beautiful you'd get away with anything.

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Emerarudo [2010-01-11 21:17:49 +0000 UTC]

That picture is beautiful, cute, and conveys a lot of emotion. Attached with your description, it honestly made my eyes water. .. It is difficult growing up, isn't it..? Sort of sad how in this world, such emotions are truly what conveys adulthood in the eyes of society.. Mmh.

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Darkmoon69 [2010-01-08 23:48:17 +0000 UTC]

amazing art as usual
&& I can totally relate. in the past few years since I've been out on my own alot of things have really drug me down. I used to have so much passion for life but now except for a few moments here and there it seems like all I'm doing is functioning but not really living. IDK if that makes sense to u but I just wanted u to know yir not alone & I'm sorri anybody has to feel this way

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bear48 [2010-01-01 05:45:03 +0000 UTC]

sweet

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Prismaticlysm [2009-12-30 14:06:40 +0000 UTC]

I can't express how your image and your words relate to myself.

Just wow.

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starrypawz [2009-12-30 12:40:27 +0000 UTC]

This is a really beautiful image. And I do identify with what your saying quite a bit.

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Fluffybox [2009-12-30 05:35:18 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for saying everything I could never say -hugs-

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gonfar [2009-12-29 15:35:18 +0000 UTC]

You need hugs *HUG*

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Nette-Yoon [2009-12-29 08:27:13 +0000 UTC]

wow hun i totally relate to this. everyone keeps telling me that things will get better and i hate that because they don't know that they can't see the future. so i'll just say i hope things work out.

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IrADAM [2009-12-29 06:42:11 +0000 UTC]

between the picture and the description, this is beautiful. I love how safe she feels there.
PS fat and ugly? you are far, far from either in my own humble opinion

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Nighzmarquls [2009-12-29 06:26:10 +0000 UTC]

I readily relate to what you are saying, lately I have felt like I might have failed.

But for me at least I cannot let myself admit it for any length of time, I have to believe and think that I still can succeed at my goals, that the future will be brighter that I can strive and grow again.

I don't know if it helps you at all to hear this but I hope you can take some scrap of hope from it, all hope is not lost until you have given up on hope.

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XTaintedLullabyX [2009-12-28 23:32:03 +0000 UTC]

I think we all vent through our art at some point or another and you should never have to apologize for that, if someone dosen't like it then they can just frakk right off.

I think we all go through something like this as well, when we look at ourselves and no longer see the happy optimistic person we had been as a child. I know I do it a lot lately and unfortunately I don't have much time to draw, or much motivation either =/ Hopefully this year will bring better things for you.

Also were the kids bullying you blind or something? Delightfully curvy yes, fat no.

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JeRkY-ChId [2009-12-28 23:26:08 +0000 UTC]

hug?

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CorpseDoll666 [2009-12-28 17:06:32 +0000 UTC]

I totally feel for you, I hope the new years brings for better things. I believe it will tho so keep your chin up and I love your artwork Venting through art is what I do too

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fantasyforever [2009-12-28 15:18:33 +0000 UTC]

This... This is amazing. And I don't just mean the artwork (which is superb as usual!). I can completely empathize with this piece and the reason why you drew it. It made me think of my own childhood, and how I miss being that carefree, outgoing child before middle school turned me into an insecure, shy introvert. I think just about anyone can see themselves in this piece, or at least sympathize with it... Very well done.

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NeroAngelus [2009-12-28 14:08:04 +0000 UTC]

I hope better luck is in your, an I also wish I had a Grombal doll.

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Saiyansmate [2009-12-28 13:12:07 +0000 UTC]

I vent through writing ....lovely art btw

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JarrrodElvin [2009-12-28 13:12:04 +0000 UTC]

I wish Boogle was happy...

I like your Gromble too!

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JarrrodElvin [2009-12-28 11:18:20 +0000 UTC]

Totally amazing

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b2st [2009-12-28 10:33:03 +0000 UTC]

it's okay, i vent though art too, but it turns out like red violent scribbles... however your vent art turns out more pretty and actually takes shape of something.

I love this picture a lot! I admire your coloring it really makes me want to cuddle that huge teddy bear ( or is it something else? haha ).

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