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PenToThePage — lonely is one letter
Published: 2010-04-11 03:52:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 1469; Favourites: 28; Downloads: 13
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Description
there were dead birds and fragile things hanging on the clothesline. you liked to look at them because it made you feel more secure; less like scraps of fabric and snips or newspapers tied loosely with dental floss. so you hung ribcages and tea cups and our love on the clothesline because fragile things made you feel less alone."I'm not afraid of dying; I'm afraid of leaving." you whispered to the stars. the air grew heavy. "I don't like the idea that this is all there is, because there's so much more I want to be. I want to be beautiful."
I was always more afraid of living, because living meant that there were no excuses. I agreed, though, quietly, that leaving would be the worst part.
you traced constellations on my arms and back and face. you liked to count planets and shooting stars; bright things made you feel warm inside. you kept the stars in your eyes because you didn't want to lose them. I kept you in my arms, because I didn't want you to realize how we were dangling on the clothesline, and I wanted to save myself from the dizzying drop.
fragile things break. they shatter. ribcages break, tea cups are smashed. and we just dangle, afraid of the fall.
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Comments: 48
i can see this so detailed in my mind... i love the images it creates, and the ideas behind it. ♥
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thank you so much for all of your incredibly kind words, dear.
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oh, my pleasure ♥ thank you for sharing your lovely work.
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It sounds Neil Gaiman-like to me - and that's lovely because he manage words in a way to create amazing catarsis effects on the reader like a gun shot. For me it's like a punch on the face so intense it is the effect.
Just like your words. They fit into one another and they construct a line of their own amazingly coming to the end in which every little piece comes to the very begining making all sense. Making all beauty and all importance, as if they could capture the sensation of that greatness we feel it could be, we feel we could reach.
Anyway...lost myself in your spiral
Loved your writing, that much
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oh, my, thank you so much! you're wonderful.
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that's what I felt ^^
:huh:
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though, i think your title sounds bakwards.
"lovely is only one letter from lonely" sound more fitting since they are this "lovely" thing but they are barely bordering falling into being "lonely". just a thought.
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oh my gosh! girly this is gorgeous! (i know, i'm so lame. hehe.)
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thank you so much! i'll think about your suggestion, this title made sense in my head.
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the imagery of fragile, beautiful things such as love hanging on a clothesline is wonderful. i really love this. and it's short but simple and it gets a wonderfully melancholy point across. and your choice of words and how they flow together is very pleasing.
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thank you so very much.
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you are many levels of wonderful.
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Well thank you, I would hope so.
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Your word choice...is brilliant very smooth and inviting yet, timid on the edges very nicely inhaled by me. Words on a page, screen like a waterfall of color this is. Good job on your way to the top.
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oh my god, thank you so much! you're wonderful.
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I'm flattered that you call me wonderful
truly I am undeserving 
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i love your title- i wish the whole thing fit the title bar.
i love your text, im glad that didnt change 
amazing writing (:
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My this is stunning. I really adore the opening few lines.
Like
Really adore them.
The whole thing is so vivid and wonderfully dark.
Great work here.
<3
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wow, thank you so much! your writing is beautiful, so it means even more. thank you.
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"I'm not afraid of dying; I'm afraid of leaving." you whispered to the stars. the air grew heavy. "I don't like the idea that this is all there is, because there's so much more I want to be. I want to be beautiful."
my heart hearts.
i think i really like you.
<3
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wow, thank you so much for everything you've said. you are amazingly sweet. i'm not really anything, i swear, but i'm glad that you like me anyways!
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this is so beautiful. i love the concept of fragility and love. and especially being afraid. i feel like i can relate to this. wonderful imagery. wonderful job (:
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thank you very much! for the favourite as well. I'm glad that you could relate to it.
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this is amazing, don't scrap it! i loved the visual imagery i got from this.
on another note, is "...and snips or newspapers" meant to be or, or of?
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aw, thank you!
ah, typos, thanks for catching it!
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goshh.
this is so amazing.
you hung ribcages and tea cups and our love on the clothesline because fragile things made you feel less alone.
=
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thank you so so much, for the fave as well.
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This is gorgeous! I especially love the stanza about tracing constellations. Lovely imagery.
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Gahh. This is so gorgeous. It made my day to read it. Excuse me while I go force it on all my friends,
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aw, you just made my day! thank you!
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Thank YOU for such a lovely piece!
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"you traced constellations on my arms and back and face. you liked to count planets and shooting stars; bright things made you feel warm inside. you kept the stars in your eyes because you didn't want to lose them. I kept you in my arms, because I didn't want you to realize how we were dangling on the clothesline, and I wanted to save myself from the dizzying drop."
Oh my.
This whole thing is beautiful.
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thank you so much, lovely. for the fave, as well!
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I was always more afraid of living, because living meant that there were no excuses.
There is a simple honesty in this line, as well as your whole entire piece, that is both beautiful and sublime. The way you hang your emotions for the world to see, like the ribcages and tea cups on fragile dental floss, is just beautiful.
This poem is the reason why I still believe humanity still has a heart. People like you remind me that we can still do great things. You, my dear, are inspiring. :]
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your comments always mean so so much to me. you are far too lovely for me! thank you so much; you have no idea how much it means to me that you find me inspiring!
thank you!
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You shouldn't be thankful for my comments, I should be thankful for you writing such great work! You are a very talented writer; able to write in such a unique, amazing way. There is no doubt in my mind that you are one of my favorite writers here on deviantArt.
Thank you so much for giving such great poems to the world. The world, and I, love you for it. :]
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oh, wow. you actually just made my day. week. life.
thank you so much. I... i don't know what to say. just thank you.
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Oh, you don't have to say anything at all. Just keep writing, and I'll keep reading. :]
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"I'm not afraid of dying; I'm afraid of leaving." you whispered to the stars. the air grew heavy. "I don't like the idea that this is all there is, because there's so much more I want to be. I want to be beautiful."
I was always more afraid of living, because living meant that there were no excuses. I agreed, though, quietly, that leaving would be the worst part.
you traced constellations on my arms and back and face. you liked to count planets and shooting stars; bright things made you feel warm inside. you kept the stars in your eyes because you didn't want to lose them. I kept you in my arms, because I didn't want you to realize how we were dangling on the clothesline, and I wanted to save myself from the dizzying drop.
someone is genius around here.
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aw, thank you, love! I'd say it's you :]
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no way! (:
your crazy.
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hahh. thank you, love.
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