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perkymonkeybuns — for me, for you [rin matsuoka x reader]

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Published: 2015-08-26 07:54:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 5784; Favourites: 83; Downloads: 0
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Description You were silent the whole way home, and Rin, as worried about you as he was, was hesitant to speak.

While he was watching the fireworks display with the rest of the Samezuka swim team, you had emerged from the back of a foodstand, sniffling, your face wet with tears. You had stopped directly in front of Rin, startling him, looking up at him with a quivering lip and tearful eyes.

“Take me home!” you had cried, your voice just audible above the boom of the fireworks.

Rin had nodded without a second thought, and you had followed him into the parking lot.

Now, he drove without a word, eyes focused on the road, though he snuck glances at you whenever he had the chance. You were curled up in the passenger seat, facing the window with your back to Rin. Sousuke had been your ride to the festival, but after what had happened… Well, you weren’t about to ask him for a ride home.

Rin had an idea of what had occurred between you and his best friend, and eventually, he had to ask. When he reached your destination, he parked at the curb, turning off the car and sitting back in his seat with a sigh.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked.

You unclicked your seatbelt and grabbed your bag. “Thanks for the ride, Rin. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you bluntly replied, ignoring his question and reaching for the door handle.

Rin locked the door with a push of a button, frowning at you. “___, talk to me.”

You didn’t look at him for a while, though he saw your shoulders shake with anger. “Rin…” you muttered warningly.

“What happened, ___? Did Sousuke—”

“Don’t!” you snapped, whipping around to face him, your lips twisted into a snarl. “J-Just don’t talk about it, Rin, it’s nothing. Now let me out.”

Rin shook his head, matching your glare with one of his own. “Did he hurt you?” he asked. Your hands clenched into fists. “I don’t care if he’s my best friend, ___, if he hurt you, I’ll kick his—”

“He rejected me, Rin!” you shouted.

Rin’s eyes widened. “What?”

“He—!” You paused, taking a breath to compose yourself. “We went behind the takoyaki stand to watch fireworks. We were laughing, we were having a good time, I thought it was going great, so… I leaned in to kiss him.” You sniffed, wiping tears from your cheeks. “But he leaned away”—you rubbed your face on your sleeve—“and told me that he doesn’t feel the same. I was so dumb.”

Rin watched you silently. When you looked up at him, you saw some dark and unfamiliar emotion in his eyes, but it vanished quickly with a shake of his head. “It’s not your fault, ___,” he murmured, laying a hand over yours. “Sou just—”

“And you knew about it, didn’t you?” you mumbled.

“What?” he breathed, as you yanked your hand away from his. He stared at you in hurt shock, his mouth parted slightly.

“You knew the whole time that he wasn’t interested!” you shouted, holding his gaze with furious eyes. “You knew he didn’t like me back and you didn’t stop me from embarrassing myself all this time! What kind of friend are you?”

Rin snorted at your accusation. “Oh, like I didn’t try?” he retorted, throwing his hands up in the air, swiveling in his seat to face you completely. “I figured he wouldn’t return your feelings, I tried to tell you so many times, but you wouldn’t listen to me! I tried encouraging you ’cause I didn’t want to see you upset, but I didn’t mean for you to actually make a move on him! How many times have I told you that Sou just isn’t interested in anyone ever?”

As he spoke, you flinched at the harshness of his words, your eyes round with astonishment, and Rin went on. “I’ve been there for you all this time, hoping that while you were pining after some impossible crush, you would still appreciate the friends around you. Gou. Aiichirou. Me, for Christ’s sake! I thought we were enough. I thought you knew me well enough to know I would never hurt you, but I guess I was wrong. I guess as soon as something goes wrong, you’ll always have someone to blame but yourself, and it’s going to be me now, isn’t it?”

Your eyes were almost fearful, but you were avoiding his gaze, fiddling with your sleeve.

“Well, I’m not going to sit here and take it. I’m not gonna just sit in this fucking car and listen to you blame me entirely for something of your own doing, something you clearly could’ve avoided. You think I’m gonna roll over, show my belly to you, let you walk all over me? No. I’m not. Not this time, ___. If you think I’m just someone here to use as a scapegoat, you’re dead wrong. And yet, I know that tomorrow, you’re going to try again, or you’ll just be pining after Sousuke for the rest of your life and never do something about it.” He leaned in close to you, his eyes brighter than ever before. “I’m your friend. I care about you. I hate seeing you upset, it makes me so angry I wanna punch a wall, but if you yell at me, you can guarantee that I’m going to yell right back.”

You growled irately. “Really, Rin, I’m the one who’s hurt you?” you said sourly. “Then why even talk to me, Rin? Why bother helping me if I’ve caused you so much damn—”

“Because I care about you, dammit!” he practically screamed, and you jumped in your seat at his volume, at his confession.

Rin had never felt such instant regret in his lifetime until now.

You stared up at him, nostrils flaring, your bottom lip wobbling. You were trying to mask the sadness with the anger, but it was melting away, and Rin could see the tears forming in your eyes, sliding freely down your cheeks no matter how hard you tried to hold them back. Turning away from him, you buried your face in your hands, whimpering softly.

Rin sighed heavily, grabbing at his hair in frustration. Here you were, crestfallen, and he had scolded you. Yelled at you. Sure, you had yelled first, and you had accused him of something that was partly-untrue… but that was no excuse for you him to raise his voice, to patronize you into silence. “___, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t.”

You raised your eyes to his. He’d just yelled at you, and now he was ready to end your friendship? Cut off any ties left between the two of you? Since you had focused on making your feelings for Sousuke reality, you and Rin had grown more distant, to the point where you were trying so hard to hang with Sousuke that Rin had become a second priority… more of a liability. “What?” you gasped, your voice a mere whisper.

“I…” He turned around to face you, his brow furrowed with determination. He reached across the console and cupped your face in his hands, leaning forward until your foreheads were touching. “Listen, ___, I hated seeing you fawn over Sousuke when I’ve had these feelings pent-up inside me for so long. Sou just… He seemed like this shiny new toy to you, and I was the worn-out playmate. It was even worse that he’s my best friend, I mean, I couldn’t hate him or you no matter how hard I tried. I hated all the attention you gave him, when you didn’t see all the attention I gave you. And at the same time…” He swallowed, his gaze shifting to the floor as his cheeks grew pink. “I wanted you to be happy, so I was… I thought I was okay with it. I thought that just seeing you happy, even if you were with someone else, I thought that would make me happy, too, but… If I imagined you with someone else, it made me upset, and if I imagined you turned down by someone you were interested in, it also made me upset. It wasn’t enough, and I’m sorry, but this is how I feel. If you don’t feel the same, I-I get it… but please, don’t leave me.” He raised his eyes back to yours. “I need you.”

You were practically trembling with tears right now, and his words had brought you over the edge. You erupted into sobs, throwing yourself into Rin’s arms. He held you, your body stretched awkwardly over the console, and he rubbed your back consolingly, while you shuddered in his embrace, your body racked with sobs. You wept into the fabric of his shirt, your arms around him, holding him as close to you as possible. You let out a gut-wrenching wail of anguish, and Rin tightened his hold around you, biting down on his lip as hot tears rose to his eyes. He couldn’t stand to see you like this; he pressed his face into your hair, his breath fanning against the crown of your head. His shoulders shook with silent sobs, and you curled your fingers into his shirt, clinging to him for dear life.

Finally, you lifted your head, sniffling, and looked up at him, smiling weakly. He held your eyes, and you somehow managed to choke your words out through your tears. “I… I need you, too.”
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Comments: 11

posytive [2015-09-19 19:30:08 +0000 UTC]

IM CRYING
THIS

IS 


BEAUTIFUL EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

perkymonkeybuns In reply to posytive [2015-09-20 19:06:56 +0000 UTC]

wahh thank you so much :')

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AmaranthPrincess21 [2015-08-29 21:48:50 +0000 UTC]

Aw this was so emotional, I loved it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

perkymonkeybuns In reply to AmaranthPrincess21 [2015-08-31 00:05:54 +0000 UTC]

thank you! i was worried about how to properly express all the emotion between the 2 of them without making it all repetitive and annoying so your confirmation means a lot! thank you so much!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

AmaranthPrincess21 In reply to perkymonkeybuns [2015-08-31 05:51:20 +0000 UTC]

Aw, yeah, it was super good! And you're welcome! Thank you for writing it! 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

perkymonkeybuns In reply to AmaranthPrincess21 [2015-08-31 17:46:29 +0000 UTC]

my pleasure!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

iwaizumihajimeme [2015-08-26 22:32:03 +0000 UTC]

u

i

a  A G H

rin

im sry rin

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

perkymonkeybuns In reply to iwaizumihajimeme [2015-08-27 05:01:06 +0000 UTC]

my poor rin rin

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

iwaizumihajimeme In reply to perkymonkeybuns [2015-08-27 12:20:27 +0000 UTC]

Rin rin RUN

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

HlR0 [2015-08-26 10:38:27 +0000 UTC]

This is so sweet...<3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

perkymonkeybuns In reply to HlR0 [2015-08-26 17:13:11 +0000 UTC]

aw thank you!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0