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PhilosophersBane — Venom Onto Parchment
by-nc-nd
Published: 2013-05-04 07:28:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 378; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 0
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Description
I drip venom onto parchmentSaturating pages with rage
Seething and writhing internally
Cultivating bile in my head
I ejaculate verbal vomit
Discharging my dissatisfaction
My ink bleeds bitter iron
Discoloring steamed wood pulp
Poetry is my only escape
I'm too penniless to move away
I'm too paralyzed to move forward
I'm too fragile to forget my woes
But poetry isn't only an escape
My own sturdy defensive shell
Nothing can tear through my armor
Built not of steel but of words
Forged so that others can see
Consume and muse and understand
Share their own reactions
Maybe even connect with me
I do not hold much power
But I'd like to leave a legacy
Not some lofty fetish for fame
Just a few scraps of pen scratches
So that someone else can find my shell
Use it to armor themselves
Allow some pain to glance off
Deflect harmlessly to the ground
A mediocre blacksmith searching
For someone who fits my armor
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Comments: 15
Hello, I'm a critic from ! I really love the concept here. It's edgy and cool and best desribed as badass. 
The only thing I don't love about this piece is the transition from badassery to sensitivity i.e. the fourth stanza. I really wish there was a tangible transition between the first and second lines purely because I think it would flow better.
Overall I love this piece and I hope to see more of your work soon!
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Sorry about the typos. 
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Oh wow, you must have done some digging. I haven't posted here in some time now. Thank you for your input, you really are the definition of a constructive critic. As for whether or not I'll be posting again any time soon, we'll see 
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Beautimus. Even though it doesn't rhyme, even though there's no punctuation, it feels like there is. Two things that bug the crap out of me and you've made me forget I even care about them xD
Love it.
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Well I'm releived that you enjoyed it anyways. Funnily enough almost all of my poems do have rhyming and punctuation. I was trying something new (to me at least)here.
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I think it actually fits really well with the meaning of the poem. That's probably why I like it with the piece :3
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Thanks! I've been trying to pour a bit more of myself into my writing.
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Yeah, i usually do the same, since it's pretty hard for me to express in a verbal way
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You have very strong diction in your writing. I really enjoyed it. It was very direct.
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No one has mentioned my word choice up to this point, I appreciate it. It's reassuring.
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This is indeed beautiful. I can imagine poetry can serve a therapeutic purpose too.
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Thank you. I don't know where I would be without poetries therapeutic effects.
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