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Description
Darkness.

His tongue and lips teased on the surface of my neck.

Darkness.

His chest was bare, my hands curiously searched.

Darkness.

Panting.

Darkness.

Moans.

Darkness.

Grabbing, clawing, clutching.

Darkness.

His name, screamed over and over.

Darkness.

Whispers of my name tangled with grunts.

Darkness.

His scent enveloped in mines.

Darkness.

Finally I awoke.

That's all I remember of it, the alcohol blocked the rest. The darkness overshadowed the rest of the actions. All I remember are certain moments, but mostly the feeling. I remember trying to push him away, giving the signal to my brain to say stop, but my arms kept grabbing and my lips moving along with his. I had no control. I had no censorship to my sounds, to my actions. They were all free, all out of my reach.

Part of me is delighted. Kyle loves me back. His kiss, his touch, all engraved in me. Part of me is horrified. The risk, the deed, the consequence. No protection, just freedom. How could I have been so stupid? I should have shoved him aside and let the course fall another day. I should have stopped him before I fell into not only his spell, but the alcohol's. I should have done that, but I didn't. I let this happened. It's my entire fault. He was even drunker than I was. I took advantage of him.

I shouldn't have gone to the party at all. I should have stayed in bed and become oblivious to his affection. But knowing what he feels now, I couldn't bare that reality. I wanted this, but I went too far.

And now, there is no turning back, for either of us.

I told my friend, by best friend, Wendy Testaburger. She always cared, she always listened. I went to her house the day we snuck out of Token's house, which by the way, all was quiet between us. The awkward silence was choking me, it was far too overwhelming. I remember trying to talk, but my throat reprimanded me, I had no voice. What if he lost interest in me, what if he was angry at me? Shit, I could have pushed him away forever!

Despite that, I went to my best friend. She tapped her lead pencil on the surface of her desk, and bit her lip. She was thinking of what to do.

"To tell you the truth, I have no idea what to tell you. Despite my relationship with Stan, I'm a virgin myself." She said after a few minutes.

"You gotta know something! I have probably made the biggest mistake of my entire life." I protested desperately.

"Well did you both use protection?" She asked.

I thought momentarily, even if I knew the answer, I didn't want to think of the consequence.

"Well?" She persisted.

"…No…" I admitted with my head hanging in shame.

She threw her pen at me furiously. She stood up from her desk chair and started to scream at me, "How could you be so careless!?! What if you get an STD!?"

"Kyle doesn't have an…" I started to protest until she interrupted.

"How do YOU know? Maybe you weren't his first? Did you think of that?" She yelled harshly.

My heart was hanging from my throat. Tears started to whelm. She's right, what if I'm not his first. What if he was just drunk and lying about what he said last night? What if I was used? What if he doesn't want anything to do with me? What if it was just a one-night stand? I feel so cheap, so dirty, like… a common whore!

She saw my expression and her face softened. She kneeled to hug me while I sank into her arm and started to weep, hugging her back.

"Shhh. Don't worry, its Kyle we are talking about. He wouldn't do that to you. It was just a slim, very slim, possibility. You probably are squeaky clean."

I laughed in tears at her cheesy saying. "It's not about the STDs, what if I really wasn't his first?" I tried to wipe my overwhelming tears.

She gave me a look that suggested that she was guilty for bringing it up. "Come on. It's Kyle we are talking about." She repeated "He's all about the 'abstinence' thing and about the 'wait until you're married' ordeal."

"You mean like he waited last night." I said sarcastically.

"Well, it's an off-chance that he even had another, last night was a mistake." She said sweetly.

"Gee, that makes me feel much better." I said not only sarcastically, but bitterly.

She patted me harshly in the head. "I'm trying to be comforting, don't talk to me with that tone, missy." She scolded.

"Sorry." I apologized. She always had that quality in her, the motherly type. In an odd way, she was like my second, much more reasonable, mother, or at least my big sister.

"Well, I'm going to go, you stay here." She suddenly said, standing up.

"Huh? Wait, where are you going?" I asked, bewildered.

"To the convenience store." She answered putting her coat on.

"What? Why?" I asked, getting annoyed at her half-assed answers.

"We need a pregnancy test. I'll probably pick up more than one, just in case."

My stomach churned. Holy shit, I hadn't even thought of that. "Wait, you don't think I'm…" I said, unable to finish.

She started to put on her shoes. "Well, there is a possibility. We have to find out, right." She stopped to see my worried face. "Though it's probably a waste of time and money, it's a precaution. You're probably fine." She smiled sympathetically.

Then she left. I waited in her room. First on her bed. I played with her stuffed animals, by pretending they could talk. I'm a weirdo.

"You don't think I'm pregnant do you?" I asked the stuffed bear.

Nope. You and Kyle aren't parents yet, you're going to get married first then have three children.

"If he wants me, and even if he does, who says we are going to get married?"

You did, when you were in 3rd-5th grade. You wanted a great dane and a big house with him, and you wanted to live out of South Park with three children. You wanted to be a big time marine biologist/actress/novelist, and he was going to be a big time lawyer.

"I was a weird kid."

You still are.

"It's because I'm having a conversation with somebody else's stuffed bear."

That, and because normal people aren't fun. Being weird isn't that bad, Kyle is weird.

"He's not!" I exclaimed defiantly.

He is too! It takes a weird person to reject someone for years only because he was afraid.

"He has low self-esteem, at least by the way he was talking last night. Either way, pregnant or not, I'm soiled. Tainted, scratched, dirtied, taken, and impure."

Just because you had sex doesn't make you all that. If so it would make him that stuff too.

"Because I made him those things."

He had as much fault in it as you did, if not more.

"More? Fuck you. I'm done with this conversation." I said flicking the teddy bear's nose.

Ow! Coward! That's what you do don't you? Run away with the chips are down, when things don't go your way. That's what you did to Kyle in the 3rd grade. You thought he was going to dump you after that kiss in the tree house, so you dumped him first for Clyde.

"Hey! We weren't even going out! I was just delusional, like I am now, still talking with a stuffed animal. And I don't run away from things, I face them head on. Like all those times I persisted Kyle. I never gave up, no matter how hard and painful it was."

Just then, I swear I saw the teddy bear smile.

Then why are you afraid? Despite being pregnant or not, being his first or not, you're still his. And now, he is finally yours. He gave you his word, didn't he? Drunk or not.

I knew the teddy bear wasn't talking, or smiling. It was a figment of my overactive imagination, still, that part of me was right. Did I just pwned myself?

Just then the door opened, and Wendy came in with a convenience store bag. "I got like three pregnancy tests."

I turned to her and screamed (in a silly manner), "Wendy, I think I'm schizophrenic!"

She just stopped in her tracks and stared at me. "What are you talking about?"

"I was having a conversation with your teddy bear that signified a character realization of internal stress and a foreshadow in the story's plot."

She just stared at me for a while and then said, "Anyways…. here. Go pee on this and come back so we can wait for five minutes until the result."

"Ok." I took the pregnancy test box she was handing me.

"Oh, and Stan kept texting me all the time I was there. He was talking with Kyle." She said like it was the most natural thing ever.

"Kyle!? Wait what did he say?" I asked, intrigued.

She looked at me for a while and a malicious grin appeared. "I don't remember." She said indifferently while shrugging.

"Wendy!!" I whined loudly.

She giggled for a while until she said, "Fine, you big baby. Stan said that Kyle is disappointed in himself, but at the same time he's stoked."

"Stoked? Like how much?" I asked pressing her for more information.

"Like a LOT, and he wants to go steady." She said leading me in the bathroom.

My face gleamed, "Oh my God! He wants to be my boyfriend!?" I squeaked cheerfully, probably louder than I intended.

I was standing in the bathroom, while she was just outside the room.

"I also told him what you told me when you explained everything." She said.

"Wait? What are you talking about?" I asked, seriously confused.

She shrugged casually. "Oh nothing, just how much of a sex god he was and how many times you screamed his name over and over and over…." She teased.

I blushed furiously and screamed, "WENDY!!! YOU LITTLE…" But I was cut off by her slamming the door in my face.

"You better hurry up and take the first test, Bebe" She giggled as she held the door, disabling me from opening it (no matter how many times I pounded at it vigorously).

"You sneaky bitch!" I mumbled to myself as I opened the test pregnancy box.

I took a look at the pregnancy stick that was held in my hands. I took a big gulp and wished for the best.

Description
Darkness.

His tongue and lips teased on the surface of my neck.

Darkness.

His chest was bare, my hands curiously searched.

Darkness.

Panting.

Darkness.

Moans.

Darkness.

Grabbing, clawing, clutching.

Darkness.

His name, screamed over and over.

Darkness.

Whispers of my name tangled with grunts.

Darkness.

His scent enveloped in mines.

Darkness.

Finally I awoke.

That's all I remember of it, the alcohol blocked the rest. The darkness overshadowed the rest of the actions. All I remember are certain moments, but mostly the feeling. I remember trying to push him away, giving the signal to my brain to say stop, but my arms kept grabbing and my lips moving along with his. I had no control. I had no censorship to my sounds, to my actions. They were all free, all out of my reach.

Part of me is delighted. Kyle loves me back. His kiss, his touch, all engraved in me. Part of me is horrified. The risk, the deed, the consequence. No protection, just freedom. How could I have been so stupid? I should have shoved him aside and let the course fall another day. I should have stopped him before I fell into not only his spell, but the alcohol's. I should have done that, but I didn't. I let this happened. It's my entire fault. He was even drunker than I was. I took advantage of him.

I shouldn't have gone to the party at all. I should have stayed in bed and become oblivious to his affection. But knowing what he feels now, I couldn't bare that reality. I wanted this, but I went too far.

And now, there is no turning back, for either of us.

I told my friend, by best friend, Wendy Testaburger. She always cared, she always listened. I went to her house the day we snuck out of Token's house, which by the way, all was quiet between us. The awkward silence was choking me, it was far too overwhelming. I remember trying to talk, but my throat reprimanded me, I had no voice. What if he lost interest in me, what if he was angry at me? Shit, I could have pushed him away forever!

Despite that, I went to my best friend. She tapped her lead pencil on the surface of her desk, and bit her lip. She was thinking of what to do.

"To tell you the truth, I have no idea what to tell you. Despite my relationship with Stan, I'm a virgin myself." She said after a few minutes.

"You gotta know something! I have probably made the biggest mistake of my entire life." I protested desperately.

"Well did you both use protection?" She asked.

I thought momentarily, even if I knew the answer, I didn't want to think of the consequence.

"Well?" She persisted.

"…No…" I admitted with my head hanging in shame.

She threw her pen at me furiously. She stood up from her desk chair and started to scream at me, "How could you be so careless!?! What if you get an STD!?"

"Kyle doesn't have an…" I started to protest until she interrupted.

"How do YOU know? Maybe you weren't his first? Did you think of that?" She yelled harshly.

My heart was hanging from my throat. Tears started to whelm. She's right, what if I'm not his first. What if he was just drunk and lying about what he said last night? What if I was used? What if he doesn't want anything to do with me? What if it was just a one-night stand? I feel so cheap, so dirty, like… a common whore!

She saw my expression and her face softened. She kneeled to hug me while I sank into her arm and started to weep, hugging her back.

"Shhh. Don't worry, its Kyle we are talking about. He wouldn't do that to you. It was just a slim, very slim, possibility. You probably are squeaky clean."

I laughed in tears at her cheesy saying. "It's not about the STDs, what if I really wasn't his first?" I tried to wipe my overwhelming tears.

She gave me a look that suggested that she was guilty for bringing it up. "Come on. It's Kyle we are talking about." She repeated "He's all about the 'abstinence' thing and about the 'wait until you're married' ordeal."

"You mean like he waited last night." I said sarcastically.

"Well, it's an off-chance that he even had another, last night was a mistake." She said sweetly.

"Gee, that makes me feel much better." I said not only sarcastically, but bitterly.

She patted me harshly in the head. "I'm trying to be comforting, don't talk to me with that tone, missy." She scolded.

"Sorry." I apologized. She always had that quality in her, the motherly type. In an odd way, she was like my second, much more reasonable, mother, or at least my big sister.

"Well, I'm going to go, you stay here." She suddenly said, standing up.

"Huh? Wait, where are you going?" I asked, bewildered.

"To the convenience store." She answered putting her coat on.

"What? Why?" I asked, getting annoyed at her half-assed answers.

"We need a pregnancy test. I'll probably pick up more than one, just in case."

My stomach churned. Holy shit, I hadn't even thought of that. "Wait, you don't think I'm…" I said, unable to finish.

She started to put on her shoes. "Well, there is a possibility. We have to find out, right." She stopped to see my worried face. "Though it's probably a waste of time and money, it's a precaution. You're probably fine." She smiled sympathetically.

Then she left. I waited in her room. First on her bed. I played with her stuffed animals, by pretending they could talk. I'm a weirdo.

"You don't think I'm pregnant do you?" I asked the stuffed bear.

Nope. You and Kyle aren't parents yet, you're going to get married first then have three children.

"If he wants me, and even if he does, who says we are going to get married?"

You did, when you were in 3rd-5th grade. You wanted a great dane and a big house with him, and you wanted to live out of South Park with three children. You wanted to be a big time marine biologist/actress/novelist, and he was going to be a big time lawyer.

"I was a weird kid."

You still are.

"It's because I'm having a conversation with somebody else's stuffed bear."

That, and because normal people aren't fun. Being weird isn't that bad, Kyle is weird.

"He's not!" I exclaimed defiantly.

He is too! It takes a weird person to reject someone for years only because he was afraid.

"He has low self-esteem, at least by the way he was talking last night. Either way, pregnant or not, I'm soiled. Tainted, scratched, dirtied, taken, and impure."

Just because you had sex doesn't make you all that. If so it would make him that stuff too.

"Because I made him those things."

He had as much fault in it as you did, if not more.

"More? Fuck you. I'm done with this conversation." I said flicking the teddy bear's nose.

Ow! Coward! That's what you do don't you? Run away with the chips are down, when things don't go your way. That's what you did to Kyle in the 3rd grade. You thought he was going to dump you after that kiss in the tree house, so you dumped him first for Clyde.

"Hey! We weren't even going out! I was just delusional, like I am now, still talking with a stuffed animal. And I don't run away from things, I face them head on. Like all those times I persisted Kyle. I never gave up, no matter how hard and painful it was."

Just then, I swear I saw the teddy bear smile.

Then why are you afraid? Despite being pregnant or not, being his first or not, you're still his. And now, he is finally yours. He gave you his word, didn't he? Drunk or not.

I knew the teddy bear wasn't talking, or smiling. It was a figment of my overactive imagination, still, that part of me was right. Did I just pwned myself?

Just then the door opened, and Wendy came in with a convenience store bag. "I got like three pregnancy tests."

I turned to her and screamed (in a silly manner), "Wendy, I think I'm schizophrenic!"

She just stopped in her tracks and stared at me. "What are you talking about?"

"I was having a conversation with your teddy bear that signified a character realization of internal stress and a foreshadow in the story's plot."

She just stared at me for a while and then said, "Anyways…. here. Go pee on this and come back so we can wait for five minutes until the result."

"Ok." I took the pregnancy test box she was handing me.

"Oh, and Stan kept texting me all the time I was there. He was talking with Kyle." She said like it was the most natural thing ever.

"Kyle!? Wait what did he say?" I asked, intrigued.

She looked at me for a while and a malicious grin appeared. "I don't remember." She said indifferently while shrugging.

"Wendy!!" I whined loudly.

She giggled for a while until she said, "Fine, you big baby. Stan said that Kyle is disappointed in himself, but at the same time he's stoked."

"Stoked? Like how much?" I asked pressing her for more information.

"Like a LOT, and he wants to go steady." She said leading me in the bathroom.

My face gleamed, "Oh my God! He wants to be my boyfriend!?" I squeaked cheerfully, probably louder than I intended.

I was standing in the bathroom, while she was just outside the room.

"I also told him what you told me when you explained everything." She said.

"Wait? What are you talking about?" I asked, seriously confused.

She shrugged casually. "Oh nothing, just how much of a sex god he was and how many times you screamed his name over and over and over…." She teased.

I blushed furiously and screamed, "WENDY!!! YOU LITTLE…" But I was cut off by her slamming the door in my face.

"You better hurry up and take the first test, Bebe" She giggled as she held the door, disabling me from opening it (no matter how many times I pounded at it vigorously).

"You sneaky bitch!" I mumbled to myself as I opened the test pregnancy box.

I took a look at the pregnancy stick that was held in my hands. I took a big gulp and wished for the best.