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Poetrymann — Cat Journal
Published: 2012-04-01 19:04:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 920; Favourites: 46; Downloads: 6
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Description Day 983 of my captivity…

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Imbeciles! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now……
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Comments: 34

PagesOfDreams [2012-06-17 20:44:41 +0000 UTC]

I've seen the video on youtube, it's in french and it's adorable.

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Poetrymann In reply to PagesOfDreams [2012-06-19 14:51:15 +0000 UTC]

Oh, wow - I would like to see it!

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PagesOfDreams In reply to Poetrymann [2012-07-04 20:46:59 +0000 UTC]

Hmm, I think I was wrong about it being the same. It just reminded me of them, but they are cute and funny all the same, so I will share.

First Video: [link]
Second Video (even cuter and more funny) [link]

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Sana-girl [2012-04-28 15:39:49 +0000 UTC]

Haha this is hilarious, thanks for posting I hadn't seen this before.

(I have five cats) so if they really do think like this (convinced that its true) im in for a heap of trouble.

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Poetrymann In reply to Sana-girl [2012-05-09 00:21:16 +0000 UTC]

Cats rule - dogs drool!

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Sana-girl In reply to Poetrymann [2012-05-09 20:34:41 +0000 UTC]

King
Subject

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halcyonshores [2012-04-18 02:44:56 +0000 UTC]

Priceless, Brendan.
Thank you for sharing.

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Poetrymann In reply to halcyonshores [2012-04-21 20:31:28 +0000 UTC]

I wish I could take credit for it, but it is good for a chuckle!

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ayla-of-nevyn [2012-04-17 01:37:31 +0000 UTC]

lol, I saw this on FB a few days ago. As a cat owner, I'm torn between giggling fits & saying "yep, that sounds about right."

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Ferelwing [2012-04-04 19:34:48 +0000 UTC]

*LAUGH* Still very cool!

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Poetrymann In reply to Ferelwing [2012-04-11 02:41:32 +0000 UTC]

Yeah..I know our cats are thinking that way!

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Ferelwing In reply to Poetrymann [2012-04-11 03:22:16 +0000 UTC]

Mine plots all the time.. I'm certain of it!

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Leo821 [2012-04-03 19:50:14 +0000 UTC]

<3 I love this good job you should make one about cats surving a zombie apocalspe dissregard all spelling errors please

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Poetrymann In reply to Leo821 [2012-04-11 02:39:23 +0000 UTC]

*Laughs* Great idea!

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Leo821 In reply to Poetrymann [2012-04-11 22:12:05 +0000 UTC]

Im trying to write a story on the holocaust where a cat is controling hitler and is trying to tkae over the world

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Achello [2012-04-03 14:30:20 +0000 UTC]

So much fun!

I am dealing presently with approximately 5 'homeless or street/community' cats who have decided to spend most of their daytime hours, and some nights, in my back yard. One recent addition is a young female who is bearing kittens in her belly. I am expecting any day now that she will give birth to them underneath my back porch and I will then be dealing with a few more. Although I am trying to make arrangements to have her removed from my property before that happens.

I love cats but not that many!! These felines are not prisoners as they are outdoor cats and free to come and go as they please. I am sure that they all think that we are fools. It's very entertaining and educational to watch how they treat one another, as well as manipulate us humans, so, I am amused by them.

Love the Journal entry.

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Poetrymann In reply to Achello [2012-04-11 02:39:02 +0000 UTC]

I once had 4...that was too many! And yeah...I know mine think I am the crazy one...

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BloodMoonEquinox [2012-04-02 16:27:47 +0000 UTC]

I remember reading this years ago and thought it was hilarious...but now that my sister has a cat, I wonder if this is really what he thinks when I lock him in the bathroom...

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Poetrymann In reply to BloodMoonEquinox [2012-04-03 00:51:29 +0000 UTC]

Whoops! better watch your back!!

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Villenueve [2012-04-02 11:37:13 +0000 UTC]

This is wonderful,I mean,most cats are really amazing and very smart, sometimes we must thank whatever force in the universe that they don't talk!...otherwise just imagine all what they could do or say!

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Poetrymann In reply to Villenueve [2012-04-03 00:51:09 +0000 UTC]

I am positive this is what my cats are planning!

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AElfrics-Cat [2012-04-02 07:59:10 +0000 UTC]

Genius! Ah, the devious plans of cats. World domination is only two balls of string away...

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Poetrymann In reply to AElfrics-Cat [2012-04-03 00:50:50 +0000 UTC]

*Laughs* And some catnip as well!

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BrightBlueWindWitch [2012-04-02 02:47:57 +0000 UTC]

Ah yes, I must prepare a contribution...

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Poetrymann In reply to BrightBlueWindWitch [2012-04-03 00:50:30 +0000 UTC]

Great April Fools stunt from DA!

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BrightBlueWindWitch In reply to Poetrymann [2012-04-03 04:00:43 +0000 UTC]

Yes indeedy.

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SparrowsFlame [2012-04-02 01:19:27 +0000 UTC]

Love it!

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Poetrymann In reply to SparrowsFlame [2012-04-03 00:50:11 +0000 UTC]

Glad I made you smile!

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rlkirkland [2012-04-01 22:19:03 +0000 UTC]

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Poetrymann In reply to rlkirkland [2012-04-03 00:49:57 +0000 UTC]

*Grins* you know that is what a cat thinks!

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CourtneyParker77 [2012-04-01 20:16:25 +0000 UTC]

lmao!!!!

free fella!

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Poetrymann In reply to CourtneyParker77 [2012-04-03 00:49:38 +0000 UTC]

I am glad I made you laugh!

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haijinik [2012-04-01 20:13:23 +0000 UTC]

omg this is the best!

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Poetrymann In reply to haijinik [2012-04-03 00:49:25 +0000 UTC]

*Laughs* Yeah..I wish I had actually written it!

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