HOME | DD
porcelianDoll — ORPHEUS page 14
Published: 2010-11-03 13:45:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 3647; Favourites: 31; Downloads: 25
Redirect to original
Description
Done! Finished! Woohoo!
This is my little comic. It's a sort of remix/quasi-sci fi/something version of the Greek myth Orpheus in the Underworld. Mostly it's just practice for bigger (and better?) projects in the future.
I'm very very very very very happy with it however, forgive my total lack of writing skills. I've never claimed to be a writer (anyone want collaborate with me? You write, I'll draw
)This comic is brought to you by the wonder of frozen grapes and very little sleep.
Related content
Comments: 37
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
ya done fucked up, Orpheus.
Honestly i was hoping for a twist ending, but then that wouldn't be honorable to the story
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I can't help wondering if he didn't do it deliberately. That he knew it was a mistake to drag her back, that things could never be what they were.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I think most of the reason I got an account (I can't draw at all) was to compliment you on this comment. I've always loved this myth, and all Greek myths in general, and you did more than give it justice. You helped me put a face on the characters and now I can never remember Orpheus, or Hades for that matter, any other way.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
...I'd like to think he gets there eventually C:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah, in this version he might. The original... not so much.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
such a beautiful story! I'm so in love with this it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Awesome ! I mean, the colors, the expression, the dynamic ! everything is there ! Nothing special to say ! of course i could look at it page by page in all way and looking for the details, but this is already a good comic ! Really like the way you turned it on ! the only moment which was a bit strange was the speach of Hades : a big text in one case ... i would have split it up to two or 3 cases ... to keep that dynamic of yours which was perfect fr the rythm of the story ! But that's a small minus in the ocean of bonus
Congrats !!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yeah, the pacing is kinda wierd in places.
Thank you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nice work, loved it. 
I write short stories as a hobby, will have to send you a draft of one to see if it's something you would be interested in doing.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sure. I've got 3 or so projects on the go atm, but at the very least it's worth a look.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That's cool, i have a shed load of work that needs doing as well but i will try to send you something soon. I'll keep it short and try to find something that i think your style will match. Im thinking something dark and macabre based heavily on mythology with a brothers Grimm feel to it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yeah, that sounds about right
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
OMG I wanted to cry reading this. It is a stunning story and your art more than does it justice. sniff.
2 things i would request - larger versions? maybe even juts of some panels - i can tell the details you got are superb and i want to eat them up.
and i agree that we can do more with the hades/persephone story , my personal fav. that look of longing he gave when persephone was crying needs to be explored further please!! 
anyway, thats my love and adoration of your superb artistry. keep it up!
LIV
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you!
If nothing else I'll have to do a few more one off illustrations for Hades and Persephone.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
only one word that could express my amazement:
INCREDIBLE...
oh, be grateful cus now i am your fan
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Omg.. I am in awe. I love this so much, it's beautiful.
You are so talanted 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oh man, wonderful job! a great retelling of the tragic story :<
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you very much.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
OK! I guess this means it is finished, so I guess it's time for me to leave a review.
The drawings, the emotions, the characters are all so very lovely! You did a great job with all of them~ 
The development of Orpheus as a character is AMAZINGLY done. In 14 pages, you gave us a character that is capable of happiness, apathy, sadness, misery and all sorts of human emotion that is difficult to describe. I shudder to think what you could do given more time and more pages.
That said, there are some weak points--one of which, pointed out by yourself, is the writing. Now there's nothing wrong with telling a story with the narrator talking to another character (it was done exceptionally well in Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson, if you feel like giving that a read sometime) but in this story it leads to a sort of disconnectedness because of the irregularity. First it's Orpheus talking to Eurydice, then SLAM BAM! it's storyline. I think what the writing needs is a distinction between Orpheus' dialogue to Eurydice and Orpheus' dialogue with every other character--perhaps through word bubbles. I can understand how you would feel hesitant to do it, and I'm hesitant to suggest it, coz that would mean taking something away from your beautiful beautiful backgrounds
I'm unsure of another way to make this distinction, and I can see you tried to make the text different to show this distinction but it just doesn't work for me 
That said, there is only one other immediate problem I can see with your story: The pacing is waaaayyy out. I understand how pacing can be a problem since you were limited to 14 pages, so I guess it makes sense that you would try and keep it as brief as possible--but this is a major drawback to the experience of reading it. Moments of realization pass quickly, and so the emotion that goes with it is also affected negatively (for instance, when Hades sees Persephone crying--*personally* I feel another panel of Hades 'softening' could give the character of Hades some personality) Sometimes the writing also contributes to this (again using the example of Hades) when Hades explains the situation to Orpheus, it seems like he is rambling and not divulging crucial information because of how easily he says it. That PARTICULAR scene could be fixed by mentioning the drawback of getting Eurydice back in a separate panel.
These are just my opinions, and I am by no means an amazing writer, so feel free to take what you want from it and leave the rest
All-in-all: brilliant, brilliant story. Brilliant, brilliant art. And brilliant job at delivering it to the audience
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No, no, critique is good! A fresh set of eyes is always welcome! I agree toataly with what you've said. I reaaaally wanted to do more with Hades (see my gallery, I've drawn him a lot more than Orpheus), and I agree one extra panel would have gone a loooong way. I might do a seperate comic for his and Persephone's story, but that will depend on all the other things that I have to do.
The pacing, yeeeaaahhh. 
And as for the text, very true, I didn't want to take away from the bits I'm acturly good at. The conversation with Eurydice is mostly there so Orpheus doesn't get too bogged down in his woe, and he has an awful lot of woe.
Thank you so much for your thoughts!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh ok! That's pretty interesting!! Looking forward to seeing more work from you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0