Comments: 37
Black-Musa [2020-08-21 16:36:00 +0000 UTC]
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ChaoticNote [2015-01-20 10:20:06 +0000 UTC]
ya done fucked up, Orpheus.
Honestly i was hoping for a twist ending, but then that wouldn't be honorable to the story
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porcelianDoll In reply to ChaoticNote [2015-01-20 20:44:07 +0000 UTC]
I can't help wondering if he didn't do it deliberately. That he knew it was a mistake to drag her back, that things could never be what they were.
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ByChanceHappenstance [2011-06-06 19:32:43 +0000 UTC]
I think most of the reason I got an account (I can't draw at all) was to compliment you on this comment. I've always loved this myth, and all Greek myths in general, and you did more than give it justice. You helped me put a face on the characters and now I can never remember Orpheus, or Hades for that matter, any other way.
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roseredautumn [2011-03-29 02:58:24 +0000 UTC]
...I'd like to think he gets there eventually C:
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first-and-last [2011-03-28 13:20:44 +0000 UTC]
such a beautiful story! I'm so in love with this it!
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porcelianDoll In reply to Pessaro [2011-03-29 01:40:30 +0000 UTC]
yeah, the pacing is kinda wierd in places.
Thank you!
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sweetzephyros [2011-03-10 01:48:58 +0000 UTC]
I am in awe of your work. O_O
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Adin-Jenks [2010-11-06 20:47:11 +0000 UTC]
Aww, if I had time I'd SO colab with you!
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blacken-luna [2010-11-05 00:54:00 +0000 UTC]
This is perfect! I absolutely love it.
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Cecibugaroo [2010-11-03 20:11:36 +0000 UTC]
wow I love this! its great!!!
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kakashi-no-ai [2010-11-03 19:39:35 +0000 UTC]
oh man, wonderful job! a great retelling of the tragic story :<
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Aura-Alora [2010-11-03 16:55:15 +0000 UTC]
OK! I guess this means it is finished, so I guess it's time for me to leave a review.
The drawings, the emotions, the characters are all so very lovely! You did a great job with all of them~ The environments were so appealing in every way and I love how you contrasted the bright living world with the cold, dark yet luminescent realm of Hades. This is expecially aparrent in this poignant final scene. In how Orpheus feels more dead than alive without his love, literally standing on the brink of the world of the living and the world of the dead. The guitar as the symbol of his love is also a very nice choice, and that last panel of the broken guitar just breaks my heart. Poor dude.
The development of Orpheus as a character is AMAZINGLY done. In 14 pages, you gave us a character that is capable of happiness, apathy, sadness, misery and all sorts of human emotion that is difficult to describe. I shudder to think what you could do given more time and more pages.
That said, there are some weak points--one of which, pointed out by yourself, is the writing. Now there's nothing wrong with telling a story with the narrator talking to another character (it was done exceptionally well in Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson, if you feel like giving that a read sometime) but in this story it leads to a sort of disconnectedness because of the irregularity. First it's Orpheus talking to Eurydice, then SLAM BAM! it's storyline. I think what the writing needs is a distinction between Orpheus' dialogue to Eurydice and Orpheus' dialogue with every other character--perhaps through word bubbles. I can understand how you would feel hesitant to do it, and I'm hesitant to suggest it, coz that would mean taking something away from your beautiful beautiful backgrounds
I'm unsure of another way to make this distinction, and I can see you tried to make the text different to show this distinction but it just doesn't work for me
That said, there is only one other immediate problem I can see with your story: The pacing is waaaayyy out. I understand how pacing can be a problem since you were limited to 14 pages, so I guess it makes sense that you would try and keep it as brief as possible--but this is a major drawback to the experience of reading it. Moments of realization pass quickly, and so the emotion that goes with it is also affected negatively (for instance, when Hades sees Persephone crying--*personally* I feel another panel of Hades 'softening' could give the character of Hades some personality) Sometimes the writing also contributes to this (again using the example of Hades) when Hades explains the situation to Orpheus, it seems like he is rambling and not divulging crucial information because of how easily he says it. That PARTICULAR scene could be fixed by mentioning the drawback of getting Eurydice back in a separate panel.
These are just my opinions, and I am by no means an amazing writer, so feel free to take what you want from it and leave the rest Hopefully I helped a little bit. Sorry for the wall of text BTW
All-in-all: brilliant, brilliant story. Brilliant, brilliant art. And brilliant job at delivering it to the audience 8.5/10 from me
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