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porkcow โ Hotel Mario movie poster
Published: 2009-08-08 23:52:03 +0000 UTC; Views: 14448; Favourites: 297; Downloads: 1267
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Anyone else rent this movie dozens of times in the nineties? I think the other tagline was "Where there's smoke, they pinch back" but you had to see the movie to know what it meant. I saw this recently and noticed "Fortran" printed on Luigi's Slap chop in the first scene, like they knew Fortran would be the next big thing. Spooky.Related content
Comments: 119
This is funny! "Maybe that'll keep dat Lizard King from playin' wit da doors!"
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ใใชใชใฎใใใซ
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WELL YOU SEE LUIGI WHEN A PIZANO PUTS HIS SPAGHETTI NOODLE IN A MAMA-MIAS RAVIOLI
A LITTLE BAMBINO COVERED IN BROJUTO COMES OUT ABOUT 9 MONTHS LATER.
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EKAuwโฆ
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The movie was made the same time as Hotel Mario.
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*meanwhile in Hollywood in the 90's*
Publisher: are you sure about this? your previous film seemed downright unexplainable and have recived pretty awful reviews, and just seeing this, just... BLEEHH...
Director: well, we have put too much effort already into this, like we had to make golden coins out of rubber and made sure that they would bounce in the greatest tragectory, oh, and don't even ask me how much time I used with CGI.
Publisher: yeah, like that you made the gombas look creepy as hell... AGAIN.
look, I'm not sure about this, I mean, you can clearly see that ludwig's hear clearly shows off it's label, and bowser looks more like an inbred fat spike-shelled bulldog.
Director: look, do you know how much money we used to make this?
Publisher: yeah, $28 million.
Director: *uneasy voice* ...aaaand how much money are we gonna make?
Publisher: my assumption? well, if you're lucky enough, only around five hundered bucks.
look, you know what? whatever. if you want me to, I'll just publish this train wreck.
Director: Thanks, God! that's all I wanted to hear!... *sigh*
*quite a few years later...*
the movie has been rated 1.25 stars.
the movie reieves hateful reviews.
watchmojo have put this on their worst movies of all time list.
and now what?
nostalgia critic reviews the movie.
what will you assume he'll be like?
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Doug Walker: "Why? *desperate pause* Why did you do it? As you all know, I received several thousand requests to review something I thought would be a harmless silly film like the Mortal Kombat schlock I usually review, AND WHY THAT ONE?! THERE ARE PLENTY OF- YOU EXPECT ME TO REVIEW THI- *holds back tears* Well, you got what you wanted. I'm not doing an NC, but I saw it. Fortunately I was staying home sick from a black tie event, so no one saw it with me, and I was too weak with the flu to take any drastic measures while watching. What did I watch? After eight years of doing this, I finally found it. What did I find? I have no words. I... I can only describe what has happened as a result of viewing... it. My nights are filled with terror, my mornings are filled with hopelessness, and my days are filled a paranoid isolation that has ruined my marriage and can only be made worse by my keen awareness of my own insanity. People made this. People told me to watch it- CAN I TRUST ANYONE AFTER THIS?! Anyone at any point could have warned me that this was something else entirely than just a bad movie. You're all guilty. And I'm guilty for trusting you. There's no innocence in this world. So what am I waiting for? Goodbye. It's time for me to get off of my cloud. *runs head first into 4-story desk fan*
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...that has to be the best response for a comment I ever got.
I tip my imaginary Fedora to you.
by the way, the youtube comments.
god knows what insanity will go on in there...
*shudders*
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The post-credits teaser for Hotel Mario 2: Checking Out is always a hoot, man.
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Nice of the porkhow to draw us on a movie poster, gay luigi?
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I hope I made LOTSA CHILIDAWGS.
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This movie in one scene!
Mario: Nice of the Princess to invite us over to the drug store, gay Luigi?
Luigi: I hope they made lotsa cocaine!
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Complete with flying mattresses and irrevelant characters.
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Directed by Peter Jackson once he stops hounding for extra LOTR merchandising rights. Music by John Powell. Starring someone shorter than Anthony Hopkins and less mutton-chopped than Captain Lou Albano.
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im making a commercial for this may i use this pic?
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Shuah! Just flash "SMOKE" on the screen subliminally. Gotta please my sponsors.
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this would make a great 60sec vid or a youtube poop
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Where the poster takes over the world like Moar Krabs?
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The princess has been kidnapped by Robotnik, are you a bad enough pesky plumber to rescue the princess
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"Are you a pesky enough plumber to save the princess?"
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I'll clog the drains and raid the fridge, yeah!
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AHHHH, HERES THE PROBLEM, HOW MANY TOASTERS!!!
YOU NEED A LIGTH?
NOU
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