Comments: 5
monkeynohito [2010-08-27 04:50:13 +0000 UTC]
Your English is fine, I don't think people would be able to tell you aren't a native speaker if you didn't tell them. The story reads pretty well too, but I'm not too good with writing, so my comments aren't worth much, haha.
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Princess-Phara In reply to monkeynohito [2010-08-27 08:09:58 +0000 UTC]
Thank you^^ And you shouldn't say that! You always give very good, helpful comments. I can see you put thought into them^^
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monkeynohito In reply to Princess-Phara [2010-08-27 09:41:59 +0000 UTC]
Thanks!
Grammar and spelling and all seem to check out on one read and I think your dialogue works well, it has a nice jovial banter tone that isn't too heavy or too silly. Otherwise, I don't really know what works or not.
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Princess-Phara In reply to NanzzyRulezz [2010-08-25 16:12:32 +0000 UTC]
Thank you!
1. Nope, nice try, but wrong direction^^ Try to focus more on how it sounds than how it's written...
2. No, keep trying¨*read: I totally can't think of a hint that wouldn't spoil it XD*
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