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you’re not the first to say I read too far into things, I know I do.

you ever get a feeling, you wish you could just make go away?
but it lingers, and stays in front of your mind
no matter what you do, you can’t stop yourself from thinking,
“what if?” you become so petrified
you can’t put your feelings into words,
if you do, the ink on paper will make them real – tangible
you’ve always learned real feelings create pain,
a pain so unbearable – ripping of your heart, something has stolen your soul.
you feel empty and alone with the thing you’ve wanted most,
a feeling that could penetrate the shield around your heart,
a feeling that blankets your soul and make you feel whole.

you’re not the first to say I read too far into things, I know I do.

the feeling was unexpected and unnecessary.
I loved how both of us were satisfied with the friendship we already have,
I never anticipated feeling for you the way I do now,
I didn’t even want to.  now I know how it feels
to have my heart stolen away, I guess – I don’t like it.
I’ve blinded myself to real love, and the games people play.
the signals you give and the words you say
have cut through my shut eyes.

you’re not the first to say I read too far into things, I know I do.

I’m petrified to tell you I’ve never felt this way before.
I’ve never had what I have now with you, and I wouldn’t give it up
for anything anyone had to give.  you touched my face and held me close
to tell me I’m beautiful and you love me, and I’m terrified – petrified.
you don’t mean it more than “just friends,” I know, and yet, I’m hoping
someday you’ll mean it beyond platonically.

you’re not the first to say I read too far into things, I know I do.

©adrianne.leigh.2005