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Description

She hated this weather – the frost that stung her paws, the freezing nights that forced her to press her back against Insanis so she could be warm enough to sleep, the lack of food and the bitter taste the water left in her mouth after she broke through the ice. Winter in the city was a distant dream. She had fuzzy memories of comfy pillows and watching the snow fall onto the buildings with the other Hunters; of brisk morning patrols where the cold air on her pelt woke her up instead of making her so weary she could barely get out of the den in the morning. Winter in the forest was a matter of survival, not just a lack of comfort. But nothing was worse than what the winter months did to Insanis.

He had been bearable in the warmer seasons. Usually their conversations consisted of spat words and the flash of claws, and sometimes they were even left with new scars after one of their rare chats – and she had been perfectly content with their relationship in that regard. She was able to handle him easily then; all it took was a few choice insults and if things got really heated, snarls and teeth and claws were introduced. Things had been … simpler.

Now he understood things. How he listened. Now he paid attention. He noticed her bad days, her good days, the times she wanted to be left alone and the times that she needed company. And in turn she noticed the same about him. He was broken, just as she was, and in these cold months that he had become lucid, they had … become closer. And that made Ruska very uncomfortable.

She didn’t want him to understand her. She didn’t want to understand him. And yet here they were. They never spoke of it, never voiced their thoughts, and that just seemed to make the entire situation worse. She grew more irritable, he grew more withdrawn, and now when she snapped at him for absolutely nothing he didn’t even snap back; he just stared at her with those sad eyes that had become the norm once it started to snow. And then she felt … terrible. Awful. Guilt was not something she enjoyed feeling. And he drew it out of her without even trying.

And then she would mutter a soft apology, he would give her a small nod, and they would continue whatever it was they had been doing. The entire affair set her teeth on edge.

Such as they were at the moment. The past few days had been hard for her, and she knew that he could tell. Just last week he had helped her take the makeshift stitches out of her eye, and everything had spiraled out of control after that. She couldn’t stand the sight of herself. She made him go get water, and refused to go near any streams of rivers or even puddles that they came across. Disgust was something she was used to feeling: Ferox, humans, hell even spiders disgusted her.

Disgust in herself was a new and frightening feeling.

He knew what she was feeling. She could see it in the way he watched her, in the soft words he murmured to her at nighttime, in the way he no longer trailed behind her but walked by her side through their hikes through the woods. She hated him, hated the understanding she saw in his gaze, hated how she had grown close to him. She didn’t want any friends. She didn’t want to care about him.

She didn’t want another cat she was scared to lose.

Her breath fogged in front of her as she looked down at the city lights far below her. Her eyes were half closed, her muscles relaxed, and the soft swish of her tail-tip flicking through the snow was the only indication of her inner turmoil. She hated these feelings almost as much as she hated herself; hated them nearly as much as she hated him. All she wanted to do was sleep and forget, but even that was denied to her. Sleep had been hard to come by for the past week.

The soft whisper of the movement of fur made her ear twitch, but otherwise she remained fixed in place, eyes trained on the blinking lights beyond the forest. He snuck up to sit on her right side, knowing how she was uncomfortable being approached on her blind side. No words were spoken, no hellos or what are you doings, just … silence. She didn’t glance over at him, and he in turn didn’t look at her. They simply sat, close enough that she could feel his fur brushing hers as he breathed, watching the city lights flicker and dance as the first stars began to appear in the sky.

Oh, how she didn’t want him here, with his sad eyes and his knowing glances and his soft words. She didn’t want anything to do with him. He knew nothing. She hated him. She wanted him gone, wanted him to leave, wanted him to yell at her, to hate her, anything but this silent comfort and stupid, useless words –

“He wouldn’t care, you know,” he murmured as he turned to look at her and that soft voice and the understanding in those sad green eyes is what finally broke her down.

She had turned to face him as he had begun to speak, and now her eyes were filled with pain as she finally met his gaze. And slowly, her face crumpled, and her head sank down to rest against his shoulder, and she knew that she could never hate him. She had tried, she had tried so hard to hate him with everything she had, but she couldn’t. She loved him, even if those words would never be spoken, and she knew that he didn’t need to hear them to know.

And as the moon rose above them and the stars glittered coldly in the black canvas of the sky, she knew that when the snow finally melted and the warm weather returned, she would give anything to have these frozen months back.

She would give anything to have him back.

bet you didn't expect Ruska and Insanis feels did ya B)))))

so Ruska's blind eye is visible now
and the thought that had been plaguing her ever since Insanis helped her remove the stitches was "What would Ace think if he saw me like this"

so QUE RUSKA/INSANIS FEELS

also Insanis is most lucid during the cold months but when the spring comes he'll forget everything again
and Ruska will miss the winter dearly :')

~*~*~ e n j o y ~*~*~

flat color + simple shading/background = +3 deni
extra character = +1 deni
1044 words = +4 deni

total: 8 deni !

(c)
(c)

Description

She hated this weather – the frost that stung her paws, the freezing nights that forced her to press her back against Insanis so she could be warm enough to sleep, the lack of food and the bitter taste the water left in her mouth after she broke through the ice. Winter in the city was a distant dream. She had fuzzy memories of comfy pillows and watching the snow fall onto the buildings with the other Hunters; of brisk morning patrols where the cold air on her pelt woke her up instead of making her so weary she could barely get out of the den in the morning. Winter in the forest was a matter of survival, not just a lack of comfort. But nothing was worse than what the winter months did to Insanis.

He had been bearable in the warmer seasons. Usually their conversations consisted of spat words and the flash of claws, and sometimes they were even left with new scars after one of their rare chats – and she had been perfectly content with their relationship in that regard. She was able to handle him easily then; all it took was a few choice insults and if things got really heated, snarls and teeth and claws were introduced. Things had been … simpler.

Now he understood things. How he listened. Now he paid attention. He noticed her bad days, her good days, the times she wanted to be left alone and the times that she needed company. And in turn she noticed the same about him. He was broken, just as she was, and in these cold months that he had become lucid, they had … become closer. And that made Ruska very uncomfortable.

She didn’t want him to understand her. She didn’t want to understand him. And yet here they were. They never spoke of it, never voiced their thoughts, and that just seemed to make the entire situation worse. She grew more irritable, he grew more withdrawn, and now when she snapped at him for absolutely nothing he didn’t even snap back; he just stared at her with those sad eyes that had become the norm once it started to snow. And then she felt … terrible. Awful. Guilt was not something she enjoyed feeling. And he drew it out of her without even trying.

And then she would mutter a soft apology, he would give her a small nod, and they would continue whatever it was they had been doing. The entire affair set her teeth on edge.

Such as they were at the moment. The past few days had been hard for her, and she knew that he could tell. Just last week he had helped her take the makeshift stitches out of her eye, and everything had spiraled out of control after that. She couldn’t stand the sight of herself. She made him go get water, and refused to go near any streams of rivers or even puddles that they came across. Disgust was something she was used to feeling: Ferox, humans, hell even spiders disgusted her.

Disgust in herself was a new and frightening feeling.

He knew what she was feeling. She could see it in the way he watched her, in the soft words he murmured to her at nighttime, in the way he no longer trailed behind her but walked by her side through their hikes through the woods. She hated him, hated the understanding she saw in his gaze, hated how she had grown close to him. She didn’t want any friends. She didn’t want to care about him.

She didn’t want another cat she was scared to lose.

Her breath fogged in front of her as she looked down at the city lights far below her. Her eyes were half closed, her muscles relaxed, and the soft swish of her tail-tip flicking through the snow was the only indication of her inner turmoil. She hated these feelings almost as much as she hated herself; hated them nearly as much as she hated him. All she wanted to do was sleep and forget, but even that was denied to her. Sleep had been hard to come by for the past week.

The soft whisper of the movement of fur made her ear twitch, but otherwise she remained fixed in place, eyes trained on the blinking lights beyond the forest. He snuck up to sit on her right side, knowing how she was uncomfortable being approached on her blind side. No words were spoken, no hellos or what are you doings, just … silence. She didn’t glance over at him, and he in turn didn’t look at her. They simply sat, close enough that she could feel his fur brushing hers as he breathed, watching the city lights flicker and dance as the first stars began to appear in the sky.

Oh, how she didn’t want him here, with his sad eyes and his knowing glances and his soft words. She didn’t want anything to do with him. He knew nothing. She hated him. She wanted him gone, wanted him to leave, wanted him to yell at her, to hate her, anything but this silent comfort and stupid, useless words –

“He wouldn’t care, you know,” he murmured as he turned to look at her and that soft voice and the understanding in those sad green eyes is what finally broke her down.

She had turned to face him as he had begun to speak, and now her eyes were filled with pain as she finally met his gaze. And slowly, her face crumpled, and her head sank down to rest against his shoulder, and she knew that she could never hate him. She had tried, she had tried so hard to hate him with everything she had, but she couldn’t. She loved him, even if those words would never be spoken, and she knew that he didn’t need to hear them to know.

And as the moon rose above them and the stars glittered coldly in the black canvas of the sky, she knew that when the snow finally melted and the warm weather returned, she would give anything to have these frozen months back.

She would give anything to have him back.

bet you didn't expect Ruska and Insanis feels did ya B)))))

so Ruska's blind eye is visible now
and the thought that had been plaguing her ever since Insanis helped her remove the stitches was "What would Ace think if he saw me like this"

so QUE RUSKA/INSANIS FEELS

also Insanis is most lucid during the cold months but when the spring comes he'll forget everything again
and Ruska will miss the winter dearly :')

~*~*~ e n j o y ~*~*~

flat color + simple shading/background = +3 deni
extra character = +1 deni
1044 words = +4 deni

total: 8 deni !

(c)
(c)