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Rayen-V-Storme — Earthrise - The Story of Earth's Fall
Published: 2013-09-29 01:02:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 2085; Favourites: 46; Downloads: 2
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EDITS: Well, in the time I've spent SINCE this, I have learned a few things. Went back, tried to fix this baby up. Generally, it's still a piece of poo, but hopefully this is the fabreeze that makes it less foul ^.~
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Just my first upload.
Inspiration? I read a few articles not too long ago that discussed what the President would say if an Apollo mission ever failed and the astronauts were stranded on the moon.
It got me to thinking.
Well.
What if....what if the astronauts...in this case, single astronaut, were stranded. But not because of a failed mission.
Take a look.
Critique and review is welcome.
Cheers
~Rayen
EDIT: I changed the main picture for two reasons. First of all, it simply was not all that great of a picture.
Second, This one....this one is simply awesome, and it fits the theme rather well.
It is also more eye catching. Hope you like!
Art Credit: RoadioArts AKA Rod
"Doomed Planet"
www.deviantart.com/art/Doomed-…
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Comments: 41
So was it nukes? or did the sun go super nova? what happened?? haha
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I always thought nuclear war >: D
What was the first thing you thought of?
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I thought of Alien Invasion, Super Volcanos, And Nuclear War
But I felt the nuclear war was the best fit.
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Not sure how I missed your comment! Thank you very much ^.^
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This is deep. I can only imagine the anguish the lone survivor is experiencing. Simply beautiful
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Thank you so much ^^
I cannot even imagine how he would feel so I left it open ended. Just think...being the last person alive in the entire universe....
Not to self advertise, but if you liked this one, I think you *might* enjoy....
rayen-v-storme.deviantart.com/…
It has a similar....hollow feeling to it.
I appreciate the feedback!
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Simply stunning! Artists paint pictures with brushes and colors, writers paint worlds with words. It is so vivid...and quite interesting...I can imagine everything, the flames, the oceans changing, the souls extinguished! Woaha, you are talented!
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Thanks so much for the feedback!
That is always my goal when it comes to writing stories. I want the reader to see what I see and feel it too. Hearing this really made my day!
You are too kind
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'Tis only the truth, you very talented person.
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Yet again, I am honored!
I hope that, if you ever get the chance to look(no pressure haha), my other writing appeals just as much!
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That was awesome. Very powerful and emotive. Well done!
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Haha, thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
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Neat story. Few things, it mentions a billion lives being extinguished, but Earth currently holds a great deal more than that. I love the Point of View of the astronaut at the end but it's a quick shift. Why not have it all be from the beginning clearly from his point of view?
All in all, a good, sad, read.
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First off, thanks for the feeback!
Second, about the population, very true. I didn't really think of that. I will have to go back and shift a few things.
About his perspective: I didn't want the whole piece to include him all the way through, but I wanted his presence there.
Sort of hard to explain, but I wanted the narration to be through his eyes, but without his feelings for the most part. That would give me the ability to dive into what he sees, and then go even further in. Hence the "had the telescope" bit. It is what he sees, and then even further expanded. It is also filled with an influence of his imagination.
But...I didn't want it to be tinged with how he personally felt during those scenes as I wanted to let the reader develop their own emotion without having any such influence.
It opens things up to every sort of view.
THEN when the reader finishes that and hits the astronaut, it is just meant to be a feeling of sheer loneliness and loss added on top.
That was my thinking...ok, correction. That is what I made up afterwards to explain myself to other people.
Of course, it is also possible that I tried too hard haha
I was hoping to expand on this someday and add more of the spaceman's own perspective.
But thank you! I will mot certainly rework this and take your suggestions quite seriously.
I am glad you liked it.
Hope you aren't too sad now
But it does mean my story served its purpose...
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I think that was a very nice touch to the story. It makes it stand out that there is no personal PoV in the beginning and it adds to said feeling of loneliness and despair when, after you read about the destruction and the end of earth, suddenly there is a survivor, someone who had to watch it all happen, and know; he's the last one (or at least the last for a few million (or whatever) kilometers). Although I did wonder if there weren't more people who had gotten away? Like, other astronauts? Or whole parts of the population, like in the movies (Wall-E ;D)? And why is he all alone? How can someone end up on his own in space? How did he get where he is?
As always, your choice of words is very powerful and captivating, if I didn't know that it'd be impossible, I'd say you just take the most beautiful sentences from other poems and fit them into yours ;D but I know you're just crazy talented! ^^
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That's really the question, isn't it? How does someone end up all alone in space, watching his own planet burn to embers and unable to stop it, unable to say farewell, unable to die with his people? It's a haunting thought. I honestly don't have an answer. I simply thought, the death of humanity and of Earth needed a witness, and what better witness than a lone astronaut far above, watching in agony?
Another race would never be able to feel the same pain, and the thought of no one even seeing the end come is even worse.
And yet...imagine being that astronaut...
I dunno, really. I thought about writing more, but I like it this way...it leaves the final interpretation up to the reader!
Glad you enjoyed! Haha, I hope I didn't do that! Might get me in trouble with some better writers! O.O
I wouldn't say crazy talented...or talented. Crazy though works rather well!!! ^.^
Thank you.
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Yes, I totally agree, it's good to leave some things to imagination^^
And, no, I don't think you did! ;D
Aren't we all a little crazy! That's the fun about it
By the way, I'd really appreciate it, if you read some of my stuff, if you feel like it. It's not quite as poetic as yours, but maybe worth a look?
It feels like some of the themes resemble yours...
And, gern geschehen
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Sure thing! If I don't get back to you about your writing, just remind me 
Ooo, resembling themes? I am fascinated!
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Okay, I will ;D
At least it seemed like it to me, but it might also be my unpublished stuff that holds a resemblance... not sure anymore, can't remember what I have already uploaded and what is still only written on paper ;D
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That... did not go where I thought it would. Good work.
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Thanks for reading! Just out of curiosity, where did you think this was going?
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More of a Battlestar Galactica way than a last man ever sort of way. But then again, that's probably because of the way I write. I'm a soft-apocalypse kind of girl myself. I like that there's only one person, even though it's sad.
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Ah, I see that! Personally, I love Battlestar but when it comes to writing, I love to...leave the reader feeling like there is no hope unless they innovate themselves. It isn't just plain survival, but surviving without something that was integral to how Mankind used to be.
I'm glad you liked it! Feel free to check out something else I put up...
-wink-
And out of sheer curiosity, I was interested in what you meant by soft-apocalypse so I wanted to check that out. Are you planning on posting anything up soon?
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Mostly I meant bands of survivors, with a clear point of hope. I haven't worked on anything in that vein in a while... so it might be time for a side project.
Hopefully I can post some of my main project up soon, god willing and the creek don't rise. My co-author and I are writing episodically, so we should have the first episode done in a month or so. It's an epic sci-fi series, like the child of Firefly and Stargate.
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Careful with the side projects! I am swamped with a thousand of them XD
Sounds fascinating. I absolutely love Firefly but I've never checked out Stargate though.
I'll have to keep an eye out for your work!
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No problemo, and likewise!
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It isn't live yet, but if you check back over the weekend, I've got a blog post up on my ... blog (of course) with a link to Earthrise. It was one of the best examples of classic-style modern sci fi I've found in recent weeks. Very good stuff!
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Getting this message just put the a giant dumb ole' grin on my face.
Thank you so much for reading and spreading my writing. I really appreciate it.
Just as a note, I have a third story I just put up called A Thought On Man. It has a pretty similar style and flow to it. I just think you might enjoy it.
Once again, thank you!
(Also, the blog looks pretty awesome!)
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Heya! Sorry, I've been off DA forever. Trying to make a comeback and not sure I have the time or wherewithal to stick to it.
Best of luck with your writing. You're good - keep at it! If you get a blog, be sure to send me a link.
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Haha well, it is nice to hear from you again!
And thank you. It means a lot! I'll let you know if anything comes of it! I'm aiming to publish a novella..not sure where or how, but that is the goal.
Best of luck to you as well! Love the blog ^.^
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Ohh, go the novella!
If you ever want a reader, I'd be more than happy to beta for you. For publishing a novella, if you want to do it yourself, Kindle Publishing Direct is probably the best bet. You can sign up for 90 days and get free advertising, and then when that period of exclusivity ends, sell the book on Kobo and Smashwords as well.
Other than that, some sci fi magazines sometime publish novellas. Novellas are a great format, but they can be a tough sell because they don't fit the novel format and aren't easily slotted into an anthology. But there should be someone out there willing to publish it.
Thanks for checking out the blog. 
You're pretty cool. I'll be glad to help you out in any way.
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Sounds good! It's an on and off sort of thing; still working on it as sort of a love-hate project, but it's about halfway done. I'll shoot it over when I finish, thank you! My dream would be to have it in a sci-fi magazine! I'd feel like Asimov and Bradbury, haha, but I know that's a slightly long shot. And good point there, it is an annoying format to market. Well, if I get some more freetime within the next couple of months, I have a few ideas I've been cooking. Maybe I could compile a few novellas together into one book...a collection of shorts, kind of.
Anywho, thanks for the tips! I'll keep them in mind!
I've got your email saved and if I ever get anything to really come of my story, I'll send it over! Hopefully sometime soon.
Thanks for the support, and much appreciated!
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I guess the link would help: annequegmalchien.com/
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I love the blog. Quite enjoyable!
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Thank you very much for reading!
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Interesting: It came out document style. Just scroll up or down.
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