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Retro-tv — A Bite To Eat
by-nc-nd
#fullbody #originalcharacter #vampire
Published: 2016-12-26 22:35:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 315; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 0
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Description
This lamp post is one of my fave ocs of mine.. I personally think he's one of my more interesting ones.. he could even be myall time fave? He's an ignorant asshole who drinks like a fish, kills and eats humans and is filthy.. but he's so cripplingly stupid you can't help but kind of feel for him.. he can't even remember his own last name or tie his own shoelaces ffs.. and yet.. he's one of the more intelligent green eyes.. he's also asexual which is very rare for a green eyes too..
He loves any kind of alcohol, human flesh, sharks, tornadoes, anything that can draw blood and of course.. lamp posts :')
Here's a weird purple version of this just cuz.. sta.sh/01xsv8qj348r
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Comments: 18
Ah~ 
Best lamppost! 10/10 would definitely feed him my enemies and watch sharknado with him!
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He would DEVOUR your enemies! So long as they're human..
I can just imagine him laughing his big dumb ass off at that movie and getting a little too excited over it.. like waving his arms at it and bouncing up and down.. as you sit next to him and prob watch him more than the movie fff
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XD Welp, I don't know any non-humans who have wronged me so no need to worry hhaahah!
Pffffft, he's be too excited to even pay any attention, he'd just see the title and probably flip his lid! X"D Gotta show him Ghost Sharks too then if he's that easily excitable hahaah!! HAH, yea he'd be so giddy and happy so of course I'd watch that more than the movie it'd be so adorable!! X"D
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Ahahhaa ok good ff
Ooo what's ghost sharks? Ye I don't think he'd be able to actually sit and watch he'd be too
hyped.. he'd be kinda like half standing half sitting ahahah.. he'd prob poke you with his claws and tell you to bring him drink >: D
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Ah! Yea, I think that's what it was called it had like these evil sharks that like where ever there was water they could appear and it was so cool!! Like they could appear out of toilets, sinks, EVEN FROM INSIDE YOUR OWN BODY AND RIP YOU TO SHREDS!! X"D HAhahaha yea just jumping like a damn jack rabbit or something!! ... =w=;; ugh gonna get him a drink while he's like that and the damn alcohol would be EVERYWHERE!!! >:"I
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What the fuck fff that sounds so weird ahahaha.. so you could just be drinking a glass of water and BAM face full of shark?? Ahaha
Jesus that would put Sylvester wild altogether if he saw that.. he might get so excited he'd smash his head over the tv.. 0n0
Yes ahahaha and he'd be trying to direct the bottle to his mouth but spill it everywhere.. then wonder why the alcohol is all gone and he didn't taste any.. he'd prob tell you to get him another and this time make sure it's full.. x'D
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Yea, it kinda is! X"D YEA hahaha, probably! I haven't been able to find the movie so no idea if it's as cool as I'd hope, the concept is just wicked though, hahah! ... Oh man, the poor TV o-o;;
=w=;; PFfft, how many bottles and explanations would I have to go through that it was full but he's spilling it everywhere? That guy's a mess...
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Ah you haven't seen it? What year was it out? And ye it's a pretty weird/cool concept fff.. I love how you said poor tv and not poor Sylvester cuz really he prob wouldn't feel it xD He'd have bits of tv stuck into his face and head as his black blood drips everywhere but he'd still be super hyped ahaha and jumping around fff
A whole damn lot that's for sure.. he'd also be wondering why his clothes are all wet and smell of alcohol.. then he'd prob start licking them :/
God I could just see him pulling off his shirt and sticking it in his mouth oh boy.. a mess indeed
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Found it it was a 2013 movie actually! X"D There was apparently even a scene with a guy getting eaten while using a slip n slide!! ... And yea don't think he could really damage himself from just an inanimate object? X"I ffff yea getting black blood everywhere and would probably wonder what happened to the TV...
=w=;;; dear lord... such a refined man... Better not try and eat the shirt, would hate for him to get it stuck in his throat and get Gert or Mord to do the heimlich...
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The concept is so cool but from the trailer it looks kinda shitty ahahaa xD I just know Sylvester would LOVE IT tho.. nah it prob wouldn't even faze him.. he'd just sit back down and be all like 'Huh.. tv's bruken.. how'd that appen eh?'
I'm sorry but imagine trying to take Sylvester on a date to a fancy restaurant or something oh God it'd be hilarious aahahaa xD
But ye he stuffs the shirt into his mouth and tries to swallow and it takes him a while to realize it's stuck in his throat when he.. ya know..
CAN'T BREATH and then he starts gagging and is staggering around the place hacking/coughing and Gertrude doesn't take him seriously until it's almost too late and he's on the floor.. and then she's like.. 'Oh, there really IS something wrong' then when he spits the shirt back up he just sits down again as if nothing happened.. I could even see him going for the shirt again and Mordecai slapping it outta his hands like 'NO YOU STUPID IDIOT!! CHOKING HAZARD!!' fff XD
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Yea the trailers super shitty but hey, I like cheap laugh horror movies, 'sides it was one of those SyFy channel original movies, those are all laughable! X"D It's pretty fun to watch though found the full movie on youtube earlier and just was watching it with a WTH expression most the time hahaha!! Yea he's get such a kick out of the easily entertained frick... The second he'd as that I'd just have to do that stewie head tilt thing and stare at him in silence for a while like "(/o-o)/ ...(-o-o)- BOI" his memory/realizations skills are only comparable to Ajax from that damn DuckMan cartoon from the 90's...
Dear lord it'd be amazing, the person on the date with him all dressed up and fanciful and him just cramming food in his mouth and drinking all the wine like a monster...
=w=;; Jesus... He's gonna be the cause of his own death some day ain't he? If Samson or Vance don't get to him he'll be the cause of his own downfall for sure... At least they'd help him even if it is just with seconds to spare.... =w=;;; Pffft HAHaha!! X"D Yea pretty much, thank you Mordecai for being the resonable one here! think Sylvester would get all pouty if Mordecai had to take the shirt away from him? X"D
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Ack same here I love watching them just cuz how shitty they are xD Did you ever see the one with robotic Hitler? I think it's called nazis at the center of the earth?? Absolutely fucking terrible!!
Oh God it was so fun watching that with my friend oh man.. ahahahaah that tilt oh ye so perfect xD
I dunno who they are as I've never seen that but damn they must have a bad memory!! but ye I'm fully convinced
Sylvester could be amused by something so simple as a tree blowing in the wind 'OoOOoooHHhhoo Hoo lookit it look it's MOVIN over n back over n back!! ehehhaha' xD
It sure would right.. and Sylvester prob wouldn't even realize he's ON a date.. and I could just see him.. picking his nose n junk ugh.. and getting bored of sitting or something and just get up and leave the restaurant without saying anything xD
Good thing there is pretty much no chance of anyone EVER taking him out ff..
probably! He's gonna kill himself quicker than anyone else could kill him.. heck if Samson knew how dull he was he could just wait around and Sylvester would take care of himself..
ppf they'd def leave it VERY close.. OH YEA Mordecai would be like 'I'm locking this away somewhere' and Sylvester would just hiss and be all like
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X"D Same~ They're fun to watch to laugh at! I never saw the robot Hitler one though?? X"D Was it really that bad?? Laughably bad right?? X"D I wanna try and watch it now it sounds horrible hahaha~!
Pfffft, it's the only reaction someone COULD do to that though!! X"D it's the ultimate "Are you fecking serious/Did you really" gif!
Ah, it's an old 1994 cartoon I found it at a store for like 3 bucks, pffft I love it though... Just to give you an insight on how slow Ajax is: His dad threw him the carkeys, they hit Ajax in the face, drop to the floor, 10 seconds pass and he's says "Throw me the keys" ovo'
Dear lord... I bet he loves lightening storms and hurricane winds... X"D HAHA he's a special type of vampire... Love IT~!
Oh god... Yea pretty much, belching and just paying no attention to anything around him hell while he's walking out the date would ask where he;s going, he'd look right at them and probably just go "Who the feck are you?" to make matters worse..
Yea... Probably not, with his dumb luck, speed, and animalistic behaviors he'd be a super hard target to kill...
YEP... Man he could just stop most of his worrying if he knew how dull he was...
X"I Ffff yea... Awww the poor dude!! X"D He looks about as grumpy as Mordecai normally is~! <333 I LOVE IT HAhahaah!!
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TERRIBLE but yes laughably bad freaking awful cgi.. robo Hitler was just.. ahahaha xD
So true.. like seriously W T F Sylvester
Oh my God ffff damn that IS bad he could rival Sylvester ahaaahah
YES! I could see Sylvester out in the middle of a storm climbing electrical poles.. and screeching at the top of them x'D yes ahaha
Oh gosh.. talk about a dagger in the heart ahhaa xD but ye then they might get up and be real upset and go to start ranting at him and he'd just walk out in the middle of it x'I Sylvester is undateable really..
He is.. he's real hard to take down..
True that..
Ahaahah ye he really wanted that shirt xD rare moment of pouty Sylvester as usually nothing irks him/he doesn't notice stuff x'D
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Oh man I wanna find that now!! X"D sounds hilarious~ <333
=w= Ah... the poor slow dude... ovo;; dammit Sylv... Crushing the TV breaks it dude...
X"D It's so bad but it was hilarious and I loved it hahaha!! He really could, ugh and he pronounces Dad like Daw'd ovo and he's just so dumb...
HAHHAHA~! X"D YES!!! That's PERFECT, reminds me of some Godzilla or Frankenstein shit...
Yea man... It'd add insult to injury... X"D AH that's even worse!! Not even half listening to the poor guy??!!! Yea he's not really a fancy date guy at least that's for sure... maybe you could take him to a monster truck rally, take him to a carnival or something and just see him probably steal all the foods or kill most the carnies! X"D
Yea.. just let him take himself out...
XD Awhahaha~!! It's great he's like a tall child then! Doesn't get his way or tell him no and he'd probably throw a fit eh? X"D
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Ye watch it if you can!! Another AWFUL one that my friend introduced to me is R.O.T.O.R it was out in 1987 and phew.. what a steaming pile of dung.. it's about a robot cop who starts killing everyone or something I wasn't paying much attention but the 'robot' cop looks nothing like a robot and just looks like a human man they made NO EFFORT to make him look ANYTHING like a robot holy shit just.. the whole thing is laughably bad X'D The only good thing was the music in our opinions fff
Sylvester needs someone to sit him down and just.. give him a crash course on LIFE.. smashing stuff = they no longer work xD
I looked up some of that Ajax's voice is so.. weird?? dunno if that's even the word I'm looking for I mean I like it but it sounds strange xD
Anyone seeing that would think the apocalypse is nigh just with the storm and Sylvester's screeching and the crazy head on him ahahahaha xD
Ye.. they def wouldn't try take him out again that's for sure.. but really why would they have even taken him out once ahha xD I do think those options would be better for Sylvester if anyone REALLY wanted to date him! He'd enjoy the monster truck rally he wouldn't get bored there but he might get over excited ahaha xD and once he gets over excited he tends to want to smash his head against something.. imagine he headbutted the date in his fit of joy pfffFFF.. oh gosh he'd have the whole carnival mad.. eating everything/everyone, climbing all over the rides.. and the thing is you could tell him a million times he's on a date with you and it wouldn't register.. he really is undateable x'D
Should happen soon with the way he acts.. :I
He has a very child like mindset with a lot of things.. guess that's just another reason he's so endearing :')
And yes he'd hiss and pout if he didn't get something he REALLY wanted.. and just like a child as soon as you gave the damn thing he wanted to him he'd get all cheery again xD
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X"D Heh, so what like fallout 4 how they made the new synths look JUST like humans o-o;; so hard to decide which Art guy you have to kill... man so they just make a dude act like a robot then at least.. right?? o3o what was the music like then?
Yea but then you have to worry about him actually processing the information and listening to their words!! X"D Yea, he sounds like baked off his ass or something, remids me of Milo from Pepper Ann since they have they constant calm voice...
XD Hhehehe, it'd be great though shhh... unless he gets shocked...
Oh yea, they'd have learned their lesson reall well at that point. =w= no idea maybe they didn't know how dull he was and asked to take him out to dinner and a drink and it didn't click with him...? XD Good, I love monster truck rallies ovo Grave Digger is my favorite, not the driver but just the fucking car! X"D I love it and have loved the design of it since i was 4 and owned the mini monster truck of it hahaha!! Pffft, he shows love like a damn billy goat then both he and the date would have to take charge and crash their heads together!! X"D I'd LOVE to see that, take him on the big ben man, I wanna see him nd the others reacting to roller coasters, Sylvester screaming with joy, Mordecai practically praying and screaming in terror, Gertrude... wuld probably be completely calm and even bring a tea cup to sip on during the coaster... Mordecai having to chase him around telling him to not eat this, stop killing these people, get your head out of the cotton candy machine... It'd be a work out that's for sure... Yea it'd never click with him would it... undateable or not... least it would... be fun? Think he'd enjoy haunted houses?
8"I Aw... that's a sad thought then...
X"I YEA! He's so silly and cheery and dull you wanna keep him safe and everything?!? //pets the filthy puppy// :"I
X"D Pffft so weird... does mordecai give into his pouting after a while...? X"D Is he weak against the pout?
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Yes he kinda acts like a robot but he just looks like a cop and the whole thing is just so silly you just have to see it to see how terrible/ridiculous it is x'D The music is like www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFnyVh… I just love that 80's sound ahaha reminds me of the real old SMT games.. oh and see him there on that cover that's NOT how he looks in the movie AT All x'D He looks real cool there actually!
Ye.. you wouldn't get him to sit or pay attention.. only way to make Sylvester retain information would be through some kinda brainwashing I think.. YES he does ahaha and oh ye I remember him and that show xD Another cutie with a hat..
Yes it'd be all fun and games until he gets fried and falls in a heap onto the ground.. ovo' or what if he got zapped but didn't die and got electrical powers oh sweet merciful frick.. like he could spit electrical acid or something..
Tru tru but you'd have to wonder how they even got him to go to the restaurant to begin with x'D he prob just heard food and drink and thought FECK YE.. oh sounds cool! We don't have monster truck rallies here but I'd say they're a lot of fun!! Aw ye ahaha Sylvester's way of showing he loves you gives you a concussion x'D his skull is so damn hard the only way he wouldn't kill the date by doing that is if they were bigger than him.. he'd need someone like Vance who could take it ahaha.. oh or the date could wear a helmet!! pff going on a date just gonna take flowers, chocolate, crash helmet x'D
Oh man the three of them at a carnival would be great!! Sylvester would prob climb all over the ride WHILE IT'S MOVING FFF.. and Mordecai would be just gripping onto whatever the hell he could for dear life!! wishing/praying for it to end and ye Gertrude would prob even bring a book to go with that tea x'D
Mordecai would seriously just want to go home ahaha especially with having to baby sit Sylvester.. I could see Mordecai being out of breath and in the end he couldn't keep up with Sylvester and he'd prob lose him.. ye you'd be waiting a LONG time for Sylvester to return affection.. he prob never would.. but ye hey at least you'd have a somewhat good? time with him! I think Sylvester would be oblivious to haunted houses tbh.. I mean yes he'd love em cuz they're dark but the scares wouldn't effect him.. oh gosh imagine Mordecai and Sylvester went into one Mordecai would be all like 'These things are nothing but ridiculous jumpscares with cheap props and I'm not scared of-' then something pops out and he shrieks and ends up gripping Sylvester's leg x'D
Ya but it's true.. :'>
Yes! You wouldn't think he was capable of being a murderous screeching violent beast xD I also think that if you scratched Sylvester behind the ear he'd kinda stomp his foot up and down ya know kinda like what dogs do if you scratch them in a certain spot xD
YES Mordecai's a big softy really with anything.. I just think he'd not be able to stand the air of pouty around Sylvester and HAVE to give in xD he'd be like 'FINE TAKE THE DAMN SHIRT BUT I'M NOT WATCHING YOU AND IF YOU CHOKE IT'S NOT ON MY HEAD!!' and I could just see Sylvester's pout disappearing as he bounces over to get the shirt xD ..but really Mordecai would be watching him cuz.. ya know.. Mordecai wouldn't want him to choke.. really x'D
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