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I'm not going to write you things you want to hear.

If I did, I would be giving you a misinterpretation of life and everything would seem too good to be true. Yes, the flowers do bloom colourful and leave us in awe. But they will eventually die out with time and the wind will blow them away. Yes, the seeds left in place will grow stunning pedals to infest the fields with color and elegance… but only for us to step on them. This is what we do to remain happy. We look past the pain and struggle and almost create a façade in our minds. I guess we could say, "Ignorance is Bliss".

Oh what a ridiculous quote.

Instead we should center out what exactly could be causing us mental turmoil... because for me, Ignorance is not bliss.

So for those who are on the same page as I am, you would understand the importance of connecting with the world.

How could we let others suffer when we live so lavishly and recklessly?

In my mind there is discomfort and paranoia of what our society will amount to.

I hope that one day I can accept that my competence will not surpass that of any multibillion dollar corporation. My mind will rest… But to tell my heart to stop feeling? My heart will forever pump till the last drop. I can already feel the world repairing slowly. No one can see it but I feel it. I am not giving up and I am not letting the seemingly greater force win. I could either die a valiant warrior or throw up my white flag and go home. Many choose the easy route and join the opposition.

The world is depressing yes we know... but it is only because we believe it so. I don't see us any happier then a child in Colombia…

Joyfully roaming the streets with his favourite new shirt on. In our case it's our brand new car we bought with our hefty pay cheque. But how long will it last?

I once thought you could measure happiness by glancing at a bright smile but it seems to me that what is pretty to the human eye will win your mind in an instant. What my heart feels is far more precious. It is not easily deceived either. It can sense the gleaming heartless husk trying to grasp my attention. The smile is only true when I can feel it. Those smiles we see on the news when they are talking about the potentially greatest hurricane in history. Those aren't real. The smiles we see in the music videos. Those are also fake. They are mocking us and laughing at us how gullible and easily manipulated we are. The negligence of the media empowers us to believe that western society is infinite. The money will never stop flowing. Those big oceans that separate us from the east and south…they will be there so we don't have to worry. But that is certainly not true. Our actions potentially affect everyone inhabiting this planet. The trees we cut down, the waste we produce. It all circles the earth in a cycle and we hope that the ozone will be there for us. But even nature is giving up on us.

I guess once you accept it you will no longer be eaten by the fact the world is deteriorating. It is just simply there and you must set it aside. The power of the human mind is bewildering.

You meet new people and you must leave them behind or risk becoming them.

All you can do is try to be yourself but it seems like we are just a product of other's opinions. I don't believe it. I chose to stop drinking because I no longer want a self destructive personality. It is a characteristic which is still mysterious to this day. It takes courage to live that path of sheer apathy and ignorance. I learned it is much easier to destroy then to create. It's like I've been doing the wrong things and they felt right only because they took minimal effort. One day they will realize the life they could have lived given all the opportunities we have. But it will be too late for their ego will never match with reality. They are solely empty souls with a body driven by materialism and false pride. How can you say you will kill a man? It takes a coward to do that. To disregard the gift of God which we must cherish, not deem an object. The fatal flaw of man is not what everyone would think. The root of all evil is lack of meaning in a world degrading every unique characteristic a human could possibly possess. The set standards we strive to achieve with short cuts that only lead us to corrupt our beautiful innocent souls. In my life the only way I can find meaning is to be real to myself, my family and to appreciate how fortunate we are to live like we do. I'm tired of living alongside wretched souls who aspire to be the next idolized gangster rapper. I cannot accept it. I really never did. But I was curious as to what their true motivation was. It really is no secret to me now. It was always lack of meaning. "Oh we are going to die anyways, life is depressing". Its astonishing how one's beliefs can be the pivotal factor in eventual failure or success.

Soon enough… the more you want to be a menace to society, the more you try to push your limits, the more you say things the greater chance they will happen. Your words really do become your actions. I must back away from the creatures dwelling this earth. The fight between right and wrong is just starting though evil has knocked me down. I have gotten back up and I am stronger then ever. I have to do this for my family and the ones who taught me how to love. My loved ones have taught me that there is always sunshine after the storm but it should not be taken for granted. The hate can be drowned forever if only everyone could believe it. Things can last forever and we are more valuable then we make ourselves to be. Because with love anything can be made possible