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RoranKathil — A first Transformation [NSFW]
Published: 2013-01-21 02:15:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 238; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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Description A shady figure had appeared at the entrance to a cave that many feared, as the figure stepped out of the glare from the mid-morning sun it became clear that it was a boy, he was unarmed, about five foot tall with scruffy black hair, he adorned on him a simple set of roughly stitched worn cloth pants, an equally tatty cloth shirt. Nothing protected his filthy feet from the wear and tear of the wild, although his feet had adapted nicely developing tough skin which aided in protection. He shivered slightly as a chill ran through the cave, something about the air in the entrance set him on edge, made him feel vulnerable.



He had to return with a sample of an elixir which resides in the depths of this cave, he had travelled for almost three weeks to get here from his home, he had lost everything, but he knew, although he was not told of what properties this elixir possessed he was told that it was extremely valuable in the alchemical community, a single drop could pay him for the cost of travelling up here.



He was not aware that he was being watched silently from the darkness. If he had gone into town beforehand he would have known that there had been many hundreds of people attempting to get the elixir from this cave, although none of them had ever returned. It was not until he had lost almost all signs of light that he saw it, a dull greenish blue glow reflected off the towering walls of the cave, blind he followed the light source hoping to find his goal, his heart was in his throat at this point as he could not see his feet, the walls that were around him, nor the set of eyes that continued to watch him as he travelled further and further into the labyrinth that made up this cave, he was oblivious to the face that he was walking into a seemingly endless network of caves, following the only light source that existed now.



Slowly a feeling crept up the boy's spine, he was being watched. From the shadows eight pairs of eyes carefully monitored his every move along the dark tunnel. As he followed the dull blue glow that emanated from his destination it gradually got stronger, until after what felt like and could well have been hours the tunnel opened up into a great cavern smooth wet stone towered many feet up into a darkness which could have been infinite. The cave was bright with the glow from the luminescent liquid which pooled round the edge of the cavern, ending either side of the entranceway. In the centre stood a carefully carved deep green crystal upon which stood a magnificent pure silver, gem-encrusted chalice, each of the four ruby red gems were separated by two tiny deep green gemstones which probably originated from the crystal pedestal this beautiful item now stood upon.
Seven hooded figures took the opportunity to enter the great cavernous room while the boy stood entranced by the magnificence of the scene before him.
Once the seven had the still oblivious boy trapped within a semicircle, so they were still beyond his peripheral vision, an eighth figure strode into the room, he moved with confidence, his weapon of choice; a staff carefully carved to appear to be made of tightly compacted scales, complete with green gemstone at the foot and two hornlike spikes jutting from the top which were both decorated with golden rings which seemed to float rigidly in orient upon their location on each horn, between which an abyssal black stone that pulsed every few seconds with a dark energy sat unsuspended, yet just as rigid as the rings on each horn.



This eighth figure stood tall among his associates and cleared his throat, instantly snapping the boy out of his stupor, he smiled as the boy's face visibly paled when he turned "Ah, another fool, come to steal that which does not belong to you have you then Nathanial Kerknahll? Yet you are unarmed? Tell me did you expect to be able to blag your way around anyone who opposed you? Well it might distress you to learn that you won't be taking any of the elixir, nor will you be able to leave. However I feel that just killing one so bold as to come unarmed would be a mistake, a waste even, there are few who would dare come here unarmed with the reputation this place has earned."


As he finishes his sentence the seven men began chanting something in a language Nathan could not understand. He realised something was wrong when he tried to move but couldn't, his terrified gaze met the leaders who returned the silent plea with a slightly sadistic smile before he brought his staff up into the air the abyssal crystal resonates with a purple glow and a bubble appears around Nathan, in that same instant he lost his sense of gravity, still completely immobile and frightened out of his skin.



Suddenly the chanting stopped and the eight of them begin filing out of the cavern, bringing Nathan with them unwillingly.


He began to notice that they were not taking him out of the tunnels like he had thought they would, when he felt as them starting to descend further into the labyrinth, after a while a different light began to fade into view through the tunnels walls, this light, unlike the one from before, was flickering, it was instantly recognisable as the flicker of a flame or in this a torch, torch light. Despair was making itself ever present in Nathan's mind as they came to a huge hallway that had been dug out, lining the sides were many of these strange men. As the small group entered the hall the entire focus was on them for a moment. After a while they reached a door which was off to one side of the hall, opening the door they entered another hallway, this one much smaller in height and width but equally as long. Following the winding passageways for rather a long time, or so it seemed they enter a large room, filled with hay, there was little else to note other than the sheer size of the door, which looked rather heavy, it was the same width and height as the hallway which was still large for humans.


His entourage took him to the middle of the room where they removed the bubble, he also felt the effects of gravity again as he was pulled to the very solid floor of the cave. When he began lifting himself up he heard the beginning of the same foreign chanting that he could not understand. Once up he noticed that the men had created a circle around him. Looking to the man who was probably the boss he mutters a plea not to hurt him, in turn the man could only grin sadistically, before he pointed his staff at the boy immediately followed by a beam of dark energy.



As soon as the beam touched the boy he doubled over writhing on the ground in pain, he began screaming as his body began contorting and changing in impossible ways. His skin began to darken and crack as it slowly hardened, the sensation very much like If you spend too long under the sun, in essence extremely painful, yet this was not the worst pain he could feel in that moment, his skull and various other bones were cracking, breaking and restructuring, stretching, shrinking and growing in appropriate places.



Through the pain his brain could not logically make out what it was that was happening to his body. Other then the pain he had no idea what was even happening.


It seemed that the more he writhed in agony the more the more unrelenting the process was becoming, his now very dark Prussian skin which where it had cracked now resembled scales covered his entire contorted and disfigured body, it was obvious that whatever was happening was far from over.  His teeth were becoming sharp and more sparsely spread through his slowly lengthening face as his nose and jaw became a muzzle, his ear's have all but vanished into his deformed skull and all that remained was a near invisible hole.



A building pain began to stand out above the others and became apparent as he curled into a fetal position, two lumps slowly growing from his back where his shoulder blades once sat, more and more rapidly these protrusions began to grow, as the growth speed increased so too did the pain. After an indistinguishable amount of time these protrusions began to look somewhat like the wings of a bat.



While they had been growing so too was another ligament however by this point the pain had become so great that his brain had, had too much and he faded into the realm of peace and darkness.











Peaceful and rhythmic slow breathing signalled that the figure was deep asleep. A sudden twitch however made the guard who was watching aware that what used to be a boy was now waking up.



With a groan he came to, initially confused as to where he was, why he felt so strange, what had happened. It's when he dwelled on that very thought he remembered the pain, the changes, the strange men, one of whom he could tell was watching him now. He let out a deep low growl at the thought, the guard flinched and edged towards the door.



Becoming fully aware of his surroundings, the boy seems to quickly make the realization that he had lost his humanity, or at least in body. Twitching the new appendages on his back, the wings move slightly, causing the guard to grip the handle on his shield and sword a little tighter. Two amber eyes snapped to the guards location, having gotten to his feet it dawned on Nathan the severity of the situation as, try as hard as he may the weight of the wings on his back and new alignment of his body made it impossible to rise up onto his hind quarters to stand like he was used to, giving up Nathan proceeded to stand there and stare at the human guard on all fours, a look of mourning only just visible across the draconic features. Smirking the guard realised he was in no danger of being suddenly mauled and relaxed again.



Standing at a mere four foot, or maybe just a tad above the dragon had to look up at the guard as he sized his situation up. He came to the conclusion that he was stuck, even if he could overpower the guard, which he doubt that he could at this size, he lacked the nimble dexterous fingers that were required to unlock and open the door, which under inspection looks awful like a prison cell door.



Smiling darkly the guard saunters up to the dragon, inspecting him thoroughly the guard walks several times around the new dragon. Occasionally poking at a section of the leathery membrane that made up the dragon's wing with his sword, the small dragon flinched every time, not being used to the new additions, let alone the new feelings that accompanied being touched across these alien appendages. Suddenly the guard placed a single hand on the dragons left flank, with a smirk and a push the poor little dragon lost his balance not being accustomed to standing on four legs and with a shocked yelp, hit the floor. He lay there hoping that the guard would just leave him alone, much to his misfortune the guard had other ideas as he walked behind the dragon and deliberately stood on the un-expecting dragons tail, which caused a tremendous amount of pain in a location which he was unfamiliar with. Yelping at the sudden extreme pain in his tail, the guard burst into laughter as he walked back to his post by the door.




Time passed slowly with the dragon not moving on the floor, he was now however in a slightly more comfortable position than before.


Comments: 1

gandof79 [2013-03-01 19:43:51 +0000 UTC]

nah; the whole thing isn't too bad in the gore section. it sits well as is, and it has a dark impression that makes me want to read the rest. if i were to rate this out of 7(because someone i watch just rated his highest as 7 for no reason) i would give it a solid 4 with the potential for a 5.

it lacks some better descriptions that would help it out, like in the first paragraph, we have no idea if the cave is located in a desert, or by an ocean. I do enjoy the description of the boy though, which helps give an image of the boy before he goes into the back expanse of caverns hidden by the rest of the world. I would say a self-edit would help get the flow with the descriptions down right.


~at times I was caught off guard to who was taking the stage, the boy or his captors. even though they are separated somewhat by paragraphs, it's important to solidify who is the person you want to be focused on. For example, the boy's name is Nathan, so we, the audience, focus on that on a more personal level than just 'the boy' or 'the dragon', and helps them identify with the feelings you give your character to portray.

overall thought it was good. the flow is only interrupted slightly by these problems, and i think, like i said already, after a self-edit, it could be a very nice story.

i'll keep an eye over here for further posts.

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