Comments: 18
LesCheveux [2008-03-24 22:25:11 +0000 UTC]
Might I say that your streak of fabulous, flowing imagery was smited by the verb is?
"Every earthquake is when..."
I don't know, the rest of the piece seems to dictate that that verb shuold not sit alone in passive voice.
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wormboy67 [2008-02-26 09:13:29 +0000 UTC]
To me, this creates beautiful, yet indecypherable images in my mind.
The style is something I aspire to but I'm not sure why.
Personally, I think more clues need to be dropped as to the meaning of this piece
to create a more complete picture, although that could just be an airing of my
frustration at my inability to understand it fully myself lol.
Nicely done.
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Roulle In reply to paradoxicalshaman [2008-02-10 02:53:07 +0000 UTC]
thank you for the feedback. the feet in coals like barely breathing trees just meant that trees in coal (as opposed to soil) don't get any nutrients, so it harms them, and coals also harm feet.
i should clarify that.
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paradoxicalshaman In reply to Roulle [2008-02-10 05:59:03 +0000 UTC]
ah!... that makes sense. thats a very cool idea.
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TheKingofFall [2008-02-07 01:48:28 +0000 UTC]
A bit too much pause in places.
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Roulle In reply to TheKingofFall [2008-02-07 01:58:25 +0000 UTC]
i'll have to work on that.
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ordie [2008-02-06 01:55:59 +0000 UTC]
I feel almost tempted to be a git and ask about the muffin and the concrete fishing platform.
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Roulle In reply to ordie [2008-02-06 02:07:27 +0000 UTC]
it's mysterious,/i>
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ordie In reply to Roulle [2008-02-06 06:00:25 +0000 UTC]
you are nonsensical.
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Roulle In reply to ordie [2008-02-06 06:04:53 +0000 UTC]
ara you a portuguese
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LesCheveux In reply to ordie [2008-03-24 22:22:18 +0000 UTC]
portugese plz.
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ordie In reply to LesCheveux [2008-03-25 03:42:49 +0000 UTC]
what a blatant bunch of nonsense, hair.
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KateVunza In reply to ordie [2012-06-02 17:43:24 +0000 UTC]
Hair... I think I get it. Now I'm inspired to write a similar poem about some random object. I can't wait to freak all my friends out... oh, wait, I have, like, three.
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LesCheveux In reply to ordie [2008-03-25 20:54:35 +0000 UTC]
hair = nonsense.
have we not been over this a few times?
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