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SaaNoir β Why Me...?
Published: 2011-02-09 20:50:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 2062; Favourites: 97; Downloads: 24
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~CRY 'TILL I DIE~Ever wanted to disappear? Ever wanted just to fade away into the world of your imagination? Doesn't it sound wonderful? Running around in that world of no words such as "Impossible" and "Don't"? To be free, fly and finally wholeheartedly alive? Dreams, wishes, believeβ¦
It crashes down on me when I think about it. The real world catches me from behind and everything turns sour. Nothing seems important, everything is pointless. Even crying, begging for a change won't hand you anything but a headache and red eyes. A feeling so indescribable, so empty, it hurts. Nothing to look forward to, nothing awaits you the next school day. Only bullies and harsh words. No friends there by your side to chase the pain away. Hours and hours with dark eyes and no smile. Once the bell rings I'm out the door before anyone manage to call my name. I run, like I'm being chased by the devil himself. I want to escape that place, the pointless building of children with evil words. I calm down as I reach my destination
, the web world with my friends inside, the only place I belong. But after awhile my thoughts go back to reality and I remember I have to go back there tomorrow. I die inside, every evening when I think about it. Why? Why do I have to? What is it for me to do there? I'm failing anyway, and I don't have anyone that knows me there. I'm a nobody without a future and if I don't soon start seeing a point in all this I don't know what to do. I considered suicide, I considered running away, I considered just giving up, but no. I don't really want to die, I don't want to run away, I don't want to give up, but what? I've run out of ideas. Someone please help me. My dried up tears are leaking out, I'm losing it, slowly, painfully. I'll break, inside out. Save me from these days of nothingness, I'm fading. Fading into the darkness I love so much, the darkness I'd welcome if this wasn't the way I ended up there. Help me out, I'm drying up again, this time forever, I think. I'm turning indifferent to the world around me. Save me Cookie, Yuu, Tali, anyone. Just get me, I'm suffering. I'm breaking. I'm dying. I'm disappearing. I'm drying up.
Save this 14 year old from this bitter world of nothingness.
My true, honest feelings right now, while my tears slowly disappear from my eyes after my long long shedding.
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Comments: 59
Hahah, really? Thank you.. β₯
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It's really sad ;__; and still it's really amazing..
Hope you'll be okay.. good luck! ^^
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I know it is ;^; Thank you...
I will, I'm sure of it c: Thanks! ^^
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Beautiful, yet sad. I applaud you on your ability to effectively type out your feelings. I have a lot of trouble doing so. Anyway, good job!
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Ah, thank you so much, I appreciate it β₯
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[link]
This was the answer to my prayers. There's more to Life than reaches the eye.
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What a pretty song..
You're right.. thank you β₯
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aw... I know what its like to want to disappear so badly... or live in a dream... ._. I hope you'll be ok....
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I see... .___. I hope so too...
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i really like this! and can really relate to it.
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That's great, thank you! β₯
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It's easy to seek refuge in the internet communities but reality is what you should be thinking about. Make more friends, talk to people you haven't before without an insulting look on their face. You're too young, you'd outlive all this... Don't turn lethargic and restrain from taking actions to better your life because you will regret if later if you don't. Just keep acting.
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I know it, but it's kind of hard to talk to people who think you're mental..
I know, I know... I will..
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I can only help that much.
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It's okay, that much is enough help. β₯
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Wow, really love it. It shows how vulnerable people really are, even though they don't always show it.
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Thank you β₯ I was aiming for that, 'cause we really are that vulnerable...
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First of all i read this because the title kinda catches me...and yes don't give up! I see u are a pretty girl and my advice is to get out more...enjoy a paceful walk, take your time and try to think at all the good things that awaits for you in the future. I see now you don't go through a good time...but things will change if u are willing to make them change. I hope u will be ok and the tears will be tears of happines. You are great and don't let anyone tell you different. When i feel down i read this (it's kinda hard but makes you keep going forward):" The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows it's a very mean and nasty place
and i don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your
knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me or nobody is going to hit us hard as LIFE..but it ain't about how
hard you hit it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
how much you can take and keep moving forward.
That's how winning is done!
Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're
worth but you gotta be willing to take the hits and not
pointing fingers saying you aint where you want to be because
of him or her or anybody COWARDS do that and that ain't you!
You're better than that!!"
Rocky
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I see. I'm not going to, I just cannot see an escape right now..
Me, pretty? T-thank you. I'm probably going to do that, I'm just trying to calm down a bit before doing it.
I will make them change, I will!
Thank you so much, those kind words of yours cheer me up a bit β₯
Ah.. what a beautiful written piece. Straight forward and true, yet cheers you up... β₯
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I am very glad to see that you feel a little better, the Great Wall of China started with a brick and look at it now. I am sure you will be great! I will share you my song, the song i listen every morning: Michael BublΓ© - Feeling Good [link]
Hope it will make you feel like it makes me feel...good! Take care Tori! I wish you all the best!
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Ahaha, that is so true. Thank you, I hope so too!
Wow, what a great song, really beautiful~
I feel better already, thank you. I will, thank you so much, take care too~ I wish you the best too, and thank you againβ₯
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I really feel this piece of writing you wrote.
As someone who has (more or less) made it through what sounds a similar situation...don't give up. But maybe look into alternatives to this awful school you've mentioned. Can you possibly consider home schooling/online schooling?
I ended up beating up one of my bullies in 8th grade. He tried to get physical after 2 years of verbal attacks with the entire grade I was in. The teacher refused to hear my swearing at him when she was in an office with an open door ten feet from us. I picked up my chair and nearly went and broke a few bones - but I pulled back. I didn't want to face serious consequences for it, despite all the suffering he put me through. But I didn't leave him without a scare - I made like I was going to, made him cringe, and then in the same swoop, set the chair down. The entire class was watching. I simply said with a sweet, sharp smile, "What are you looking at? It's over."
After that, everything changed. After that, that boy never laid a finger on me. He didn't come within sight of me if he could avoid it. And if he couldn't - always with a group, and still keeping his distance. Something snapped in both of us that day. No one else picked on me. And friends began to happen.
I'm not advocating the same thing, but that was my changing moment. And I expect yours is coming. But it hurts. It hurts for what feels an eternity before it does.
Big hugs. Best wishes.
This was a beautifully written piece, and very emotional and touching. You could tell it was written from the heart.
Keep writing - it will help to keep you sane.
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I'm glad to hear that you overcame that situation.. β₯
I'll try not to..
I cannot, my parents won't allow that..
Wow... I'm glad everything turned out okay... I did in fact consider doing that, but I think too much so I ended up not doing it.. hehe.
I see... it seems so painful, changing like that, it scares me..
Thank youβ₯ *huggle*
I was aiming for that. Describing my feelings that is. I'm glad I seem to have succeed. Thank you again.
Ah, I will, thank you c:
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so true... the first line can apply to everyone!
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very powerful...i was impelled to keep reading to the end....i felt that way when i was younger....if i still felt this way i don't think i'd be able to read it..
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Thank you so much, I'm so glad you read it and liked it. It means muchβ₯
Thank you~
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Even watched Naruto? I know that's a cartoon, but I think you should take it's message to heart.
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Yeah, it was the first Anime I watched.. I think I did.
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Good, don't ever give in! You are better than this. You are awesome and don't even need to feel this way, EVER! Don't get mired in self pity.
Just remember... If you are going though hell, keep going - Winston Churchill.
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I will not, thank you, I'll keep on going even if everything is pinch black.
Either way you cannot get out of hell by just sitting there can you?.. haha.
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i love how expressive the eyes are and this is the best that i have seen to date!
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..... That's it. Official. I'm making you come here to the USA to live with me; so you can have someone beside you, even in real life....
It's mostly the same with me... the only difference, there are some whom I see as my friends.... But lately...? Nothing but hell....
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... Ahahah... Yes, Tali, please do that...
Mhm, I know that feeling far too well... hell, hell and hell again..
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you have no idea how much I wish I could.... *huggle*
Indeed..
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... Probably as much as I wish... thank you for everything tho β₯ *huggle*
Yes...
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that's what friends are for; right..?
*huggletackle*
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... Right~ β₯
*snickers* *huggleback*
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I really feel the same here, crying.
Tuu, come here!
Alone we'll just disapear, to together-we have each other and we can fight
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I figured, cry.
Yuu, I will!
Yes, Yuu, exactly.. We would slowly disappear but it wouldn't be painful at all.
Thank you so much, Yuu, for the fav. β₯
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Np, I really love your stoies, they're so beautiful!!
Hope I'll see u in my school one day!
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Ahahah, you're making me blush, Yuu. Thank you though I don't agree.. yours are on the other handβ₯
And I promise I'll try to appear there!~
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No, really!
I just can't understand how you can write texts like that!
Seem like an audult!
I'll hope for you
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Ahahah, I see.
I just... write them, hahah.
Thank you o3o
Mhm~
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I was about to cry.. because.. It's the same thing here.. I swear..
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