HOME | DD
sabre-toothed-wolf — Speak Up
Published: 2008-08-29 03:38:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 708; Favourites: 14; Downloads: 2
Redirect to original
Description
Another horrendous act passed,Another angry mob stood silent.
“We will fight to the very last!”
They would scream,
But when the moment came to pass,
That comment never existed it would seem.
So speak up, speak up, my friend,
Speak up to avoid world’s end.
Another awful leader chosen.
More outraged citizens keep mouths shut tight.
Are voices become frozen?
When did we become afraid to fight?
Has this not happened before?
I thought we said not anymore.
So speak up, speak up, my friend,
Speak up to avoid world’s end.
A new war declared,
New people born to be killed;
The power was in your hands, as you just stared.
Shall we wait for all life to be stilled?
Learn from your mistakes,
Advice it seems that must be impossible to take.
So speak up, speak up, my friend,
Speak up to avoid world’s end.
World War III is being planned
And now the power is in your hand
Will you stand silent like so many others?
Will you watch from the background the tears of so many mothers?
Sons, husbands, family, dead all.
Will you stand silent and watch the world fall?
So speak up, speak up, my friend,
Speak up to avoid world’s end.
Speak up, speak up, my friend,
Speak up, if you wish to amend.
Related content
Comments: 48
It inspires me more to speak up to the world about freedom. In the past people spoke up for rights, not just sat around waiting for others to do it!!
They say this country is is free but when people don't get to choose who they marry or so affection to who they love without going to jail then we will be free.
LOVE THE POEM!!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Exactly. Heh, I wrote the poem, and yet I have nothing else to say but 'exactly'
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol its okay well at least i get it, i mean i could interpert it soo differently that you would have to explain it to me lol
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol true, although different interpretations aren't necessarily bad.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
After reading this, I have a strong urge of picking up a rifle and going guerilla on some people. lol
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol that's not quite the image I was going for, but thanks for your input. It really is greatly appreciated.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I'd suggest putting it in the Song category, because it's really well written and rhythmic enough to be one. 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you! I'll have to see if one of my friends can put music to it, then I will.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
its indeed straightforward and it flows well, the only thing i'd change is one of your lines in the third stanza
"Are voices become frozen" that doesn't make sense to me
i'd change it to "Did voices become frozen" i dont know if you did that purposely, i just thought i'd point that out
either way, this is well written
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you. The idea for the structure there was Robert Oppenheimer's famous line in WWII during the Manhattan Project: "I am become Death, destroyer of worlds." Although maybe it doesn't work in this context?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i think it was nice, simple, pretty straight forward.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"Does the point of the poem get through clearly? Are the flow and rhythm good and all that stuff?"
Yes and yes ;DD This is a really great work
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
um. . . im sorry what?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I get the point of the poem and the flow and rhythm are good. I think you've done a great job here ;DD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ah ok thank you very much
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
the point got across very well-and it's a good one too. I completely agree with this. People don't bother to fix all the disasters going on. It flows nicely too, it's a great poem. :]
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you very much!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
you're welcome!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
That was great to read! It's inspiring, you get the right emotions across, the reader can feel your spirit. It seems like a song, though, with the repeated speak up part. xD
- Does the point of the poem get through clearly?
Yep. Very clearly. You did good on this part.
- Are the flow and rhythm good and all that stuff?
The poem wasn't so good in this part, though. The rhythm was a little choppy, I found.
But overall, good work! ^^ It's a refreshing change to read this, instead of love/angst poems...
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Where is the rhythm choppy? I'll see what I can do to fix it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
thanks! hm i might get my friend to do something with that. . . im not much of a musician but i have some friends who are really good with music so
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I love the theme. I love being reminded how much words matter.
I've got to say, the significant lack of punctuation was very distracting, though. It's possible that you've done that on purpose, but I wasn't sure where some ideas ended, why others began just where they did...Do you know what I mean?
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Traditionally, I've always written poetry with no punctuation. Primarily, I do this because, as opposed to prose, poetry should have that freedom of interpretation, fluidity, things like that. However, I also realize where it could be distracting. Could you find some specific examples of where it is distracting? I'll see what I can do with it. (By the way, if it helps any, the way i write poetry, you can assume there's a comma or period at the end of every line)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Okay. With the commas at the end, it makes much more sense. Thanks. And I definitely know where you're coming from, regarding fluidity.
For example, when your speaker says, "Speak up speak up." I'd be used to seeing a comma in the middle there. Some form of order. That lack of order just glazes some of the lines together, so that instead of ideas, they come across as an uncontrolled stream.
Here, too: Learn from your mistakes
Advice it seems that must be impossible to take.
The only problem is that I'm not sure how these can fit together in a sentence, and thus, I wonder if they are meant to be independent or not-- they don't seem like complete ideas.
I hope that helps at all. Thanks for explaining.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
So you're saying that I should put commas in between related ideas. For example: "Learn from your mistakes,/Advice it seems that must be impossible to take"? And just to be sure, are you also suggesting that I put commas between the two "speak up's"?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Please don't think that I'm trying to be a huge influence on your style or anything. Just a tad more punctuation around corresponding ideas is probably enough-- especially now that I know you imply commas at the end of every line or so. Something like the end of a sentence would be more preferably outlined.
The "speak up" thing just bothers me a little, because I'm generally unused to seeing repeating phrases or words without commas between or elipses, etc...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I understand. I really do greatly appreciate the critique. I have added some punctuation in. If you want, would you read it with the punctuation and see if it works better for you? I may end up changing it back, but I am always willing to experiment.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It does seem to flow a lot better now, and strangely, the rhyme and meter stands out more. Maybe I'm easily distracted like that... but I understand entirely why you'd keep it the same as before.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ok Thanks for your input. Greatly appreciated
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
very strong concept, love it, with world war III coming up and stuff, really, very nice, well done! I would fav it if I could find the fav button 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you so much! lol yeah it seems to be disappearing at random intervals lately
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yeah I know, really annoying -_-" but I found it anyway
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
well that's good
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Great poem. Very strong and your voice of outrage shines through! (enough to make me back away a little bit...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol ya i couldnt think of anything to put there so . . . and ty i came up with the chorus type thing at red robin in case u were curious (i had zombie and the bird and the worm stuck in my head at the same time so i somehow came up with this) and i havent whos it by?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Gosh, when I saw The Bird and The Worm's music video, I thought I was on drugs! (not that I'd know what that would feel like, of course *twitch*) The song was awesome though.
I have no idea who the song is by. And, now that I think about the lyrics, it's more about the press ratting everyone out and stuff. I know way too many songs for my own good *le sigh* Oh well. I'll look it up... later... maybe (oh sweet sloth!)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1