Comments: 34
VariaGuardians [2015-12-29 16:54:37 +0000 UTC]
I really like this story and please update it soon
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ingmaster5 [2014-01-13 22:31:14 +0000 UTC]
ooooh cool. keep this going, I enjoy the draining of blood in less than two seconds.
drawing a slight comparison to my own book i was telling you about the first Rival to the main character is actually a guy who's power makes him look half wolf. but he's also a genius at strategy so he gets the better of Racada at every turn. until the end where Where Racada's Split personalities finally merge, and he's no longer predictable in any sense of the word... did i mention that Racada was mentally certifiable?
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-14 01:26:27 +0000 UTC]
Awesome XD I finally technically finished Chapter 3 just yesterday after half avoiding it and trying to get over my dislike of writing a part I initially find boring. But once I start writing I usually find it to be a lot more entertaining. It's usually my laziness/reluctance like that thay stops me from continuing almost all of the time.
Oh man, that sounds awesome. I love it when villains/antagonists show up the protag at every turn and are smart about it XD And no, you didn't mention that. I was like wait, what? Hm, so if he has multiple personalities, do they actually get in the way of stuff getting accomplished at times;
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-14 05:52:16 +0000 UTC]
he only has two personalities. the gentler more passive personality that he starts out with, and a much more passionate and aggressive personality. The passive personality has better control of his telekinesis, while the more agressive one can better utilize his future sight ability. the more one uses the other's power the greater the risk of switching control, which can be hazardous when in the middle of a fight.
The best writing advice I ever learned, and im not sure where i heard it or read it: "If it's boring to you, its boring to your readers." I keep this in mind always if a scene is boring i try to alter it in a way that will make it more entertaining while still getting across the plot cleanly. maybe set it in an interesting location so the reader has something pretty to imagine while the characters run through their paces, or add in some comedic animals/children where appropriate.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-14 21:29:35 +0000 UTC]
Hmm, whenever I hear about people making characters with split personalities, it always seems to be the passive and nice side versus the generally more angry/impulsive aggressive side. It makes me wonder if there's another way to write their personalities. It reminds me of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that way though.
You have told me that before, but I always kind of forget it. I think the way I worked around that for my Chapter 3 was time skipping a bit, and making the interaction she had pretty short. I have a feeling I'll end up doing that in the next chapter, too (whenever I stop being lazy/distracted) lol.
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-14 22:03:29 +0000 UTC]
While it may sound cliche on the surface neither side is inherently good, or evil. in fact the aggressive side gains control for a few years, without incident, but when the passive side finally surfaces again (due to the rival's planning) he loses his cool, and turns an entire lab complex upside-down.... literally.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-14 22:51:30 +0000 UTC]
Oh. Well, whenever I hear split/multiple personalities, a part of me always wonders/hopes that the character's personalities genuinely ARE different. As in, say, different likes and dislikes, fears, morals, friends, etc. That seems to be pretty dang hard to do though seriously, so whenever I see characters like its just like, oh, that's the nice side, and that's the "I'm gonna wreck your face" or jerk side. That isn't really a split personality to me. That's just like...split emotions. But I'm rambling again XP
I kinda wanna read that though, it's totally in the style/genre I enjoy writing in
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-15 01:32:38 +0000 UTC]
Part of the story is that both personalities think that they are truly different from the other, when in reality they just two halves of of the same person. At the moment im writing on my wolf story "Tamer." I'm considering posting it here if you're interested. its the written version of that 4 part comic i have.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-15 03:24:18 +0000 UTC]
Ah...just wondering, is the split personality thing a result of something in the story? Or does he like, legit have a mental illness there? ...Because he should he that treated lol.
Hmm, I'm pretty sure I've read that, but I don't think it'd be necessary to read it since I'm pretty sure you portrayed the thing without words (or at least most of it.)
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-15 14:38:33 +0000 UTC]
Oh no it continues the story in book form. not just the comic. and the split is caused by early childhood truama as a result of a lot of dying, and the researchers attempts to keep him under control. this backfires when he gets his hands on a sword made of unknown material that can augment itself based on the power of the one wielding it, but the full extent of that feature isn't discovered till later.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-15 19:11:58 +0000 UTC]
I'm gonna reread the comic later because I don't remember much.
Also...why would there be a lot of dying? Unless those researchers are like the Maximum Ride/not giving a f kind about their projects because there's so many. Lol. Now I'm wondering why there's that sword of unknown material when it sounds like the story is in a contemporary setting?
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-15 22:03:57 +0000 UTC]
seems out of place huh? but when you can stop bullets and fly around using telekinesis you can use any kind of weapon you want. and really there's only one signficant death, but it serves to drive the two personalities further apart, its an attempt at mind control that breaks him in two to begin with. plus with his power, the sword is more dangerous than any gun.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-16 05:28:14 +0000 UTC]
But wait, but if he has telekinesis that powerful why would he need a sword in the first place? Ever see the movie Chronicle? Or Akira? They own with telekinesis lol. You wouldn't even need a gun or a powerful sword, since your mind/power would be so strong.
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-16 06:43:26 +0000 UTC]
..... Swords are cool. I haven't seen akira, but i need to. I have seen chronicle. it's mainly the more active personality that starts using the sword, because if he uses telekinesis too much control would switch to the passive personality. He can still do little things with it without risking a transfer though. when the two merge again He's able to use the sword to amplify his power and pretty much fire invisible laser beams out of the sword. later he's able to manifest tons of flying copies of the sword. it gets pretty awesome.
and before you go saying he's Op there's another girl who has absolute control over fire, and eventually is able to turn into fire herself, negating any injuries she may receive, one of the villain's has the power to copy other powers, and he get's Phil's invincibility thing.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-16 07:23:08 +0000 UTC]
You really do need to see Akira. It's incredible. My picture here is actually one of (if not the) main characters named Tetsuo. He's the guy with an inferiority complex that gets god-like telekinesis, while his friend/gang member Kaneda tries to stop him from going psycho. And shit gets real. Tell me what you think of the ending because...there are no words.
Also Chronicle was awesome and one of my favorite live action movies. They need to make that freakin' sequel. But they keep having script problems according to wikipedia.
Okay lol, that's better. So there's a lot of insanely powerful people. Does anyone ever think to trying bombing or nuking any of them? (It's the only way to be sure.) XD
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-16 16:13:57 +0000 UTC]
The girl get's the ability to become fire by eating a nuclear explosion. as a general rule, the more you use a power the more powerful it becomes, periodically evolving into something different. but in the case of the guy who can steal powers the stolen powers remain at the level they were forever, and he cannot absorb the same person's power twice.
Also I guess Racada's parents end up being villains for a time, and he can't hurt them for obvious reasons.
I'll see if one of my friends has Akira, if not I'll have to find it online.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-16 23:01:21 +0000 UTC]
Ah. That's a cool rule for the guy who steals powers. There should be a time where he would try waiting for a certain person's power to get stronger before taking it. Either that or he plans to do so.
He has parents? That become villains? Dang it, you should just tell me the story in a note or something because it sounds cool lol.
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-17 00:07:30 +0000 UTC]
that part is probably in book two, oh and i haven't even told you about the extremely confusing other part of the story that involves Dragons from another planet.
unfortunately for that guy he steals Racada's powers when he's young, before he realizes that he can only do it once.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-17 06:25:49 +0000 UTC]
Ohh......What? That kind of sound like that doesn't belong there lol.
Ah...What were all of Racada's powers again? Lol, I'm not too sure now.
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-17 13:51:21 +0000 UTC]
Future sight (2 seconds maximum) telekinesis, and then the third is a soecial morph power that doesn't activate until he's 16.
Yeah it seems like that doesn't it? this series is sort of my daydreams put down on paper so there are a few thins like that. but for the most part i keep them n their respective worlds. expect for the fact that a character named Alice from earth is interplanetary pen-pals with a dragon on the other planet.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-17 21:00:14 +0000 UTC]
Well, I imagine that he's over 16 for the majority of the story? And wait...the villain gets all those powers? And more? O.o
That doesn't sound like it'd be very plot-relevant then, honestly. Just thay they'd be telling each other stuff.
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-18 04:21:18 +0000 UTC]
the pen pal thing is more relevant in the dragon's book. it's only breifly mentioned that she has a pen pal in this one. and Yeah, overpowered villains for overpowered heros.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-18 07:48:34 +0000 UTC]
You wrote a book for the dragon/dragon's world, too? How many books did you actually write? (Or at least plan to.)
I must wonder again where are teh nukes to stop them XP Actually, why aren't nukes used in things like the Avengers now O.o Though, I guess it wouldn't exactly do much to some of them...
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-18 16:26:58 +0000 UTC]
They did use a nuke in the avengers. Tony Stark through it into outer space remember? and yeah, the two were originally one story, but i decided to split them because the dragon world has a books worth of stuff on its own.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-19 00:31:08 +0000 UTC]
Oh right...I thought that was the portal generator though? I'm not actually sure though since I haven't seen the whole thing in a while. I DO remember that the use of a nuke was being threatened by Nick Fury's higher-ups and he repeatedly was telling them to calm down and wait a minute lol. Ah. Have you actually written them or just planned it out in your head?
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-19 03:10:45 +0000 UTC]
just planned out. my attention is currently focused on NR and Tamer. Would you like me to post those chapters though? they cotinue the comic as well as add in things i wasn't able to illustrate.
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-19 15:15:28 +0000 UTC]
the perspective is usually from the female protagonist whom you have yet to meet. The boy trys his best to remain a mystery throughout the story, and reveals his past through flashbacks brought on by her inquiring about him. I need to change some things in the first chapter before i can post it. something involving ungrateful horse deaths and postmortem characterization gone awry. then other than the fact that i have way too many proper nouns in the first chapter im sure it will be good to go.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-21 05:43:05 +0000 UTC]
Why does he "try to remain a mystery?" Sorry it just sounds a little odd. Unless he like, did something terrible/important beforehand. (I can't help thinking of YA "romance" books where the guy is always "mysterious" because he's some paranormal/supernatural creature now though. Blagh.)
And...what about ungrateful horse deaths and post-mortem characterization? O.o
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-21 16:54:39 +0000 UTC]
He keeps secrets from her because he likes her, and does't want her to think he's weird and hate him. little does he know she thinks he's weird the moment they meet. another reason is that other people he's tried to tell about his past (in towns and villages mainly) never believed him, and usually kicked him out. and he's not some super magical creature, though he is a talented magic user which isn't a shameful profession in this world. but there are some really juicy secret that he keeps even from himself.
As for the horse, in an attempt to get across how stupid the horse is I have a character comment on how stupid the horse was after it dies, which makes that character seem really unlikable.
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saphira2k5 In reply to ingmaster5 [2014-01-21 21:40:08 +0000 UTC]
Ah. I don't get why they'd kick him out but I guess that requires context.
I'm wondering why there's such a stupid horse but that kinda sounds funny lol. But if the horse really is that stupid, I don't see why the character would be unlikeable, because at least it isn't the ignorant jerk character who says that only because he doesn't know what it's thinking. Because apparently that horse really was dumb.
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-21 22:45:46 +0000 UTC]
Oh right, they kick him out because of Corzzan the wolf he travels with. There's a superstition that if you're killed by a desert wolf, they will also eat your soul and reincarnate you as a wolf. These superstitions are completely false, sort of. another reason is that the guy is acting against the will of the desert country's ruler because he avoided a military draft in his youth, and if he runs into anyone who knows about it they try to arrest him.
the stupid horse is my big juxtaposition joke. The female protagonist and her escort both ride horses. her's is this beautiful pure white stallion while his is this dirt brown mare. The pretty white one is mentally handicapped, and the brown one is smarter than a 5th grader. i'd say more but that would defeat the purpose of uploading the chapter which i will do soon.
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ingmaster5 In reply to saphira2k5 [2014-01-22 14:22:34 +0000 UTC]
The story of the first book has very little to do with the desert country. Upon choosing to accompany the woman he reveals that he had been about to leave for good when they crossed paths. I use that wolf thing for a gag at the very end, and it's kind of hilarious if i do say so myself.
I'm in college too, I have some awesome professors this semester, but unfortunately I'm still quite lazy. I'll go edit that chapter and then write the speech that's due tomorrow. :\
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