Comments: 18
ImXDragon [2011-05-23 18:23:45 +0000 UTC]
It's really cool so far Sapphire :3 I can't wait to see how it turns out!
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dnxlightangel [2011-05-23 05:10:43 +0000 UTC]
AWWW CUTE!!!!!!!!
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dnxlightangel In reply to SapphireTheHedgekid [2011-05-23 13:27:17 +0000 UTC]
just go with the flow i swear i am not the best fanfiction writer but whatever you feel with your gut you go with it ( i know it sounds gross HAHAHHAA) but from what you shown me you have great potential for story writing ^u^ (more than me *nods head*)if you have to spit ideas on a paper then circle main ideas you like and but circumstances or small details explaining things why and what something or anything to get you started ^U^
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princessofDisney27 [2011-05-22 21:14:02 +0000 UTC]
haha poor mickey he fainted XD
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42Water42 [2011-05-22 20:58:03 +0000 UTC]
It's really cute ^^
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hypermegatailsfan [2011-05-22 20:45:50 +0000 UTC]
Cute idea to go with, and it is a fun twist to start off with the exact time of birth itself. However, I do have some recommendations.
- Paragraph breaks when someone else speaks. It helps readers better tell who is speaking.
- There's no such thing as too much description. See if you can't describe as much as you can with everything... their home, what they're wearing, how he faints, what kind of pain she's experiencing, etc.
Along with some obvious errors, like not capitalizing when you should, this does have good potential. I do like that Minnie is doing something very typically her, knitting, and the affectionate nicknames for each other.
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