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saro-n-mizary — Losing the Passion

Published: 2003-12-10 02:22:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 451; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 74
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Description Losing the Passion

     Upon tip-toes, she flew to her last fall. Like an angel without wings, she dared to dance until her very last breath. Each element within her legs tensed as she tediously executed each move. Every muscle contained by her flowed with her emotions, and her emotions with the music. This was her love, her one desire. In the arms of the pain she wanted to pass.
     She cried bloody tears of joy mixed with the ache of the knowledge of what would become of this. Her wounds would never heal, thus she danced until her demise on stage. The entire world would know of her beauty, her devotion, her passion. No one being would ever dance without whispering her name.
     Her body quickly diminished through the exiting wounds, but with all her strength she gracefully allowed herself to be pushed by the wind of her accompanying instruments. The flutes and violins like a hurricane to her thinning body. She slid along the pool of her blood until her ankle finally broke.
     Falling, she landed with such elegance that all thought it was part of the performance. Who knew that such morbidity could cause such joy for the audience? All smiled as she sat there slowly moving her arms with the movements of the melody. Lost to blissful thoughts she slipped into her last sleep. Her own blood filling her lungs as she laid there, unable to move from her elegant fall.
                            Rescue me tonight, love me back to life…
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Comments: 11

faded3377 [2003-12-15 22:22:01 +0000 UTC]

i agree, this is incredibly sad. but it also has that fresh - new - vibe radiating from each word.

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seekingtruth [2003-12-11 16:02:26 +0000 UTC]

I love it! Captures the beauty of sorrow, shows (to me) how sadness isn't necessarily all bad, because it can spawn beauty- poetry, paintings, prose pieces like this. Of course I don't like being sad, but it can be a great time to write, as most poets know.

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lost-mister-me [2003-12-10 03:55:01 +0000 UTC]

wow. lol. i dont know exactly what to tell you.

"She cried bloody tears of joy mixed with the ache of the knowledge of what would become of this. Her wounds would never heal, thus she danced until her demise on stage. The entire world would know of her beauty, her devotion, her passion. No one being would ever dance without whispering her name."
that whole part and the last part was great. since you said so, i read this one a few times very slow picking more out each time. and it seems to cry out many things at once.......hmm. you really did an EXCELLENT job on this one. its just so descriptive and vivid. always in few words you say so much. this is probably one of your best and better than all of mine and i think im gonna have to +fav this one too lol. hmmm. i said i didnt know what to tell you, but it looks like i did. it made me think a lot. amazing piece mary....simply amazing.
+fav.

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saro-n-mizary In reply to lost-mister-me [2003-12-10 21:28:59 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much for your insights
as always it means alot
and your fav is always amazing to me
when i wrote this
the first thing i wanted was for everyone to read it
...so that maybe i can understand people more...so i know what others really think...

thank you so much for reading

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riistar [2003-12-10 02:52:38 +0000 UTC]

A modern cry that turns to a diminishing whisper, ushered towards the blackness, hands plam up... Pleding, and in those last moments not wanting to be forgotten, to leave your mark, to depart in a manner that is almost fitting to those who view... Your mind is what you think, but your heart is what you desire...

Brilliant, its jarring, raw; and shocks the reader into a heartfelt sorrow brought about by those chilling last words...

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saro-n-mizary In reply to riistar [2003-12-10 02:57:09 +0000 UTC]

thank you thank you thank you
*was looking desperatly for a comment like this*


i love hearing what people get from reading what i write
what people gather and understand
how they were touched
it just means alot to me
gives me this feeling of accomplishment in a sense i guess
thank you thank you

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morbidsoul [2003-12-10 02:35:34 +0000 UTC]

This is really pretty and sad, I like it (though I know nothing about writing).
The end, specifically, is beautiful.

Makes me wish I could write.

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saro-n-mizary In reply to morbidsoul [2003-12-10 02:41:48 +0000 UTC]

I bet you can write
if you really want to...just do it...
trust me you may be surprised
i promise, it's like drawing...just with words
i dont know much about writing myself
things just come to me

thank you mucho much for the comment
it means alot

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vespera [2003-12-10 02:28:20 +0000 UTC]

This is incredibly sad... I'm not sure if you meant it or not, but the last line is really jarring. Seems almost out of place, but it definately leaves an impression.

Dancing, it seems, is a lot like writing...

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saro-n-mizary In reply to vespera [2003-12-10 02:36:06 +0000 UTC]

The last line...yea..it's not mine it's from bon jovi's Love me back to life

yea...but its the line that is supposed to show you to my frame of mine
to what i was trying to refer to
what my "dance" is...

btw...yea dancing is alot like writing
that's is why i love it
even though im no good at it
tkd is also like writing too...

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vespera In reply to saro-n-mizary [2003-12-10 09:01:04 +0000 UTC]

I think music is a lot like writing...
oh wait
they write lyrics for music....


*wanders off*

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