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Description

Soooo i finished this image on the 28th May, then the writing block struck and i have been struggling to get anything done with it since. BUT i sat down and forced myself to write because i need to post a show entry today AND i want to get my butt into gear with the next parts of this change! So I'm skipping proof reading because i have no energy for it atm, might come back later and give it an edit but for now i just want the bones out there so i can try and get past this block.

TLDR: Harley is for real leaving, and not only with a betrayal, but also a bruised ego and rejected crush.

-----

Previously: Broken Promises

It was not an exaggeration to think that everything today was going wrong in the worst way possible. Harley hugged the grey colts neck, trying to push down the painful gasping sobs that kept escaping her chest. For all his acceptance of the attention, Puddle was confused. The woman had never done anything like this before, and so he was flicking his ears uncertainly and shifting his hooves.

As soon as she had stormed out of the office her steely resolve had faltered slightly. Her entire life was at KhanCohban, everything she had dreamed of, everything she wanted. Everyone important. Could she really leave everything behind? Ryan was teaching so she couldn't talk to him, but there was one other person who she needed to talk to before she left.

Mark had been confused when she had turned up at the fence line where he was working that day. She was clearly distressed, and he dropped the tools he was holding as soon as he realised and went towards her. Unable to help herself she had folded into his chest and let him hold her for a moment before she finally found the words to explain what had happened. He clearly was shocked by the broken promise from Neaghe and Cavan, but he pulled back slightly then, not wanting to pick a side in a clearly personal dispute. The frustrated tears slowed and she realised that he was being supportive but cautious about what she wanted from him. She took a breath and gratefully stroked Ripley's ears as the collie leaned up against her leg for attention. Anything to distract herself from what she had to ask him.

They had been getting closer and closer in the last years since Mark started to work on the farm side of KhanCohban's business. He was a year older than Cavan, but tended to be rather quiet and avoided spending too much time socialising with the other staff, other than his sister. But Harley had found herself drawn to his confident steady nature and had taken the challenge to get to know him more. Which had rather backfired in the last few months when she had realised that what had started as a fun friendship had started developing into something more, at least on her end. Which was why she was here. Having announced her departure she had realised that she could not leave without at least talking to him about it.

A big breath to try and calm her shaking voice and she had plunged ahead. She had never really one to beat around the bush, even on subjects that made her feel ill having to voice out loud. At first he had looked calm, but then uncomfortable as she continued. He cut in eventually and Harleys voice broke and her heart cracked as he spoke. Snippets of 'I don't think we want the same things right now', 'you have your career to build, and I am happy with my routine', 'I think you would be happier with a bloke at a similar point in their life" all rang in her ears an hour later as she nursed her bruised ego and shattered heart in Puddle's stall.

After everything he had rejected her too. She wouldn't admit it but she hadn't handled that well either. She had frozen and shut down, refusing to let him see her crumble at his words and had managed to make it back to the barn where she was currently hiding. She could hear Ryan laughing with a student as they finished up their lesson and untacked the horse. Ducking her head to peek through the stall bars she saw Ryan walking up to the tack room alone. Rubbing her eyes and trying to look somewhat composed she called his name and grimaced at his shocked expression. Clearly she looked like a nightmare.

"Are you ok?" his concern rose as he walked over and really looked at her.

"No. But I need a favour or two from you." Harley struggled to keep her voice firm as she looked at her friend.

"Anything." he reached out and touched her arm, frowning slightly. "Just tell me what I can do to help."

"I need you to look after the dogs for a while, and I need to borrow your car."

Ryan's eyebrows shot up at that, and he hesitated for a moment as his mind raced. "Sure. Is everything ok at home?" Something happening to her family was the only thing he could think of that would cause this level of distress and sudden need to leave.

"What?" Harleys confusion was visible, and only added to Ryan's frown as she quickly shook her head. "Oh no, they are fine. This is.... I just need to leave." Her voice broke slightly at that.

Ryan's forehead was very creased after that and he looked around slightly, trying to see anything that could have caused this sudden shift in mood. "Sure, um.... let me just finish up with Kaylee and ill come up to the apartments with you."

Harley turned back to Puddle, stroking his ears and face, trying to memorise each dapple, the way his eyes turned honey brown in the right light, the soft velvet of his muzzle, and the sweet wrinkles in his pink snip as she played with his lips. The more time she had, the more her sadness was replaced with anger once again. He should have been hers. He was supposed to be hers. Her hands shook as Ryan returned and she gave the colt one last hug, before she walked out of his stall. Who knew when she would next get to see him. If she followed through with her decision as she intended, it could be a very long time.

Ryan was shocked as she filled him in on the walk up the drive to the apartments. He had no idea that the agreement had been backtracked and while he expressed sympathy for her which satisfied her indignation, he couldn't help but think that there must have been more to the story to make Cavan go along with that plan without discussing it with either of them. It was just too out of character for him to take it at Harleys word, though he knew her well enough to not mention that while her temper was up.

"Are you going to say goodbye to the others, or your other horses?" Ryan gently prompted her as they got close to the residences on the farm. They could see Neaghe's house at the end of the laneway beyond the rest of the buildings that were the homes of the other live in workers. "No. I can't face saying goodbye anymore today." Harley was already dreading the last farewells she would have to make. Ryan was going to be hard to leave, though at least she could call him and would have to see him at some point soon to return his car when she had made her arrangements for the immediate future. But, her dogs... Her dogs would be staying here with him until she could figure out what her future plans were.

She couldn't bring two large very energetic dogs along while she tried to find work and new rides. They were settled here and comfortable with Ryan, Cavan and Vonnie helping to look after them when she had to compete. So it made sense. It was yet another blow to her emotions, but it was the right thing to do for the dogs. She drove down and emptied her locker at the barn into the car, knowing that she would need all of her gear in the near future if she wanted to secure a ride on some horses to make sure she could continue her career, and then back to the house to load up her personal items. Hunter was energetically getting in the way of her activity, seemingly oblivious to the mood and just enjoying having her back at home and begging her to throw the ball or wrestle with him. Bana was more sensitive to her mood and was following her from room to room with her head low and slinking up to beg for cuddles whenever Harley paused for a moment.

She was finally loaded up and ready to go, but she felt the tears emerging again as Ryan leaned against the fence with the dogs bouncing around beside him. She didn't want to leave. KhanCohban had been her home for the last ten years. Her life was here, her career was here. But she refused to work for people that would back out on a deal and act like she relied upon them for her career. She may not have ridden for other people, but she was sure as hell not going to stay here in that box out of fear of failing.

No. This would be hard. Harder than anything, but she needed to do it now. Today had made it very clear that KhanCohban was not where she wanted to be. Her dream of returning to the Olympic level competition was still there, but it was not on hold and she would have to build herself up alone now. It was time to prove she could do this for herself instead of for others. Finances would be tough, but at least she had a good pile of savings that were supposed to have been for Puddle's purchase.

Whatever happened now she could handle it.

She hugged Ryan tight, for slightly longer than was usual. His support and understanding was so important to her, especially after such a disturbing day. He squeezed her shoulder gently as she pulled back. "Let me know how I can help. I know it's all upsetting as hell, but you do have people here that will help and support you no matter what." He smiled at her, his own voice slightly choking as her leaving suddenly seemed to become a reality.

The dogs were harder still. Bana was anxiously whimpering and begging for attention, as eager for the affection as Harley was. But, Hunter was impossible. All he wanted was to play, and Harley hugged him for a second before giving in to the wiggling and threw the ball to keep him happy. With one last throw she wiped her eyes again before climbing into the car and starting it. Bana followed Ryan as he opened the gate and waved as Harley drove through. He reached down to rub her soft ears as they watched his car head off up the drive. It was only then that Hunter really noticed that Harley was going and he ran after the car with ball in mouth for a stretch before he finally slowed and stood still, watching it disappear down the driveway. He turned back to Ryan for a moment before looking after the car again. Never one to be unhappy for long he accepted the sudden departure with endless joy and bounded back towards the more subdued duo, ready for more fetch and playtime.

Harley tried to focus on the driving, but she could see her life shrinking in the mirror behind her. The vision was blurring slightly as the tears returned, but she dried her face and took some deep breaths to steady herself. Things would be okay. She would get herself together and sort out her next steps, and it would be fine. She could do this. She paused at the end of the driveway to check the road, indicator blinking away as she took one last breath and drove out of the KhanCohban gates.

She could do this.

--

okay about 5 refs used for the Subaru, no refs for the rest (which is why its shit) but i wanted to get this done so the plans can PROGRESS!

Description

Soooo i finished this image on the 28th May, then the writing block struck and i have been struggling to get anything done with it since. BUT i sat down and forced myself to write because i need to post a show entry today AND i want to get my butt into gear with the next parts of this change! So I'm skipping proof reading because i have no energy for it atm, might come back later and give it an edit but for now i just want the bones out there so i can try and get past this block.

TLDR: Harley is for real leaving, and not only with a betrayal, but also a bruised ego and rejected crush.

-----

Previously: Broken Promises

It was not an exaggeration to think that everything today was going wrong in the worst way possible. Harley hugged the grey colts neck, trying to push down the painful gasping sobs that kept escaping her chest. For all his acceptance of the attention, Puddle was confused. The woman had never done anything like this before, and so he was flicking his ears uncertainly and shifting his hooves.

As soon as she had stormed out of the office her steely resolve had faltered slightly. Her entire life was at KhanCohban, everything she had dreamed of, everything she wanted. Everyone important. Could she really leave everything behind? Ryan was teaching so she couldn't talk to him, but there was one other person who she needed to talk to before she left.

Mark had been confused when she had turned up at the fence line where he was working that day. She was clearly distressed, and he dropped the tools he was holding as soon as he realised and went towards her. Unable to help herself she had folded into his chest and let him hold her for a moment before she finally found the words to explain what had happened. He clearly was shocked by the broken promise from Neaghe and Cavan, but he pulled back slightly then, not wanting to pick a side in a clearly personal dispute. The frustrated tears slowed and she realised that he was being supportive but cautious about what she wanted from him. She took a breath and gratefully stroked Ripley's ears as the collie leaned up against her leg for attention. Anything to distract herself from what she had to ask him.

They had been getting closer and closer in the last years since Mark started to work on the farm side of KhanCohban's business. He was a year older than Cavan, but tended to be rather quiet and avoided spending too much time socialising with the other staff, other than his sister. But Harley had found herself drawn to his confident steady nature and had taken the challenge to get to know him more. Which had rather backfired in the last few months when she had realised that what had started as a fun friendship had started developing into something more, at least on her end. Which was why she was here. Having announced her departure she had realised that she could not leave without at least talking to him about it.

A big breath to try and calm her shaking voice and she had plunged ahead. She had never really one to beat around the bush, even on subjects that made her feel ill having to voice out loud. At first he had looked calm, but then uncomfortable as she continued. He cut in eventually and Harleys voice broke and her heart cracked as he spoke. Snippets of 'I don't think we want the same things right now', 'you have your career to build, and I am happy with my routine', 'I think you would be happier with a bloke at a similar point in their life" all rang in her ears an hour later as she nursed her bruised ego and shattered heart in Puddle's stall.

After everything he had rejected her too. She wouldn't admit it but she hadn't handled that well either. She had frozen and shut down, refusing to let him see her crumble at his words and had managed to make it back to the barn where she was currently hiding. She could hear Ryan laughing with a student as they finished up their lesson and untacked the horse. Ducking her head to peek through the stall bars she saw Ryan walking up to the tack room alone. Rubbing her eyes and trying to look somewhat composed she called his name and grimaced at his shocked expression. Clearly she looked like a nightmare.

"Are you ok?" his concern rose as he walked over and really looked at her.

"No. But I need a favour or two from you." Harley struggled to keep her voice firm as she looked at her friend.

"Anything." he reached out and touched her arm, frowning slightly. "Just tell me what I can do to help."

"I need you to look after the dogs for a while, and I need to borrow your car."

Ryan's eyebrows shot up at that, and he hesitated for a moment as his mind raced. "Sure. Is everything ok at home?" Something happening to her family was the only thing he could think of that would cause this level of distress and sudden need to leave.

"What?" Harleys confusion was visible, and only added to Ryan's frown as she quickly shook her head. "Oh no, they are fine. This is.... I just need to leave." Her voice broke slightly at that.

Ryan's forehead was very creased after that and he looked around slightly, trying to see anything that could have caused this sudden shift in mood. "Sure, um.... let me just finish up with Kaylee and ill come up to the apartments with you."

Harley turned back to Puddle, stroking his ears and face, trying to memorise each dapple, the way his eyes turned honey brown in the right light, the soft velvet of his muzzle, and the sweet wrinkles in his pink snip as she played with his lips. The more time she had, the more her sadness was replaced with anger once again. He should have been hers. He was supposed to be hers. Her hands shook as Ryan returned and she gave the colt one last hug, before she walked out of his stall. Who knew when she would next get to see him. If she followed through with her decision as she intended, it could be a very long time.

Ryan was shocked as she filled him in on the walk up the drive to the apartments. He had no idea that the agreement had been backtracked and while he expressed sympathy for her which satisfied her indignation, he couldn't help but think that there must have been more to the story to make Cavan go along with that plan without discussing it with either of them. It was just too out of character for him to take it at Harleys word, though he knew her well enough to not mention that while her temper was up.

"Are you going to say goodbye to the others, or your other horses?" Ryan gently prompted her as they got close to the residences on the farm. They could see Neaghe's house at the end of the laneway beyond the rest of the buildings that were the homes of the other live in workers. "No. I can't face saying goodbye anymore today." Harley was already dreading the last farewells she would have to make. Ryan was going to be hard to leave, though at least she could call him and would have to see him at some point soon to return his car when she had made her arrangements for the immediate future. But, her dogs... Her dogs would be staying here with him until she could figure out what her future plans were.

She couldn't bring two large very energetic dogs along while she tried to find work and new rides. They were settled here and comfortable with Ryan, Cavan and Vonnie helping to look after them when she had to compete. So it made sense. It was yet another blow to her emotions, but it was the right thing to do for the dogs. She drove down and emptied her locker at the barn into the car, knowing that she would need all of her gear in the near future if she wanted to secure a ride on some horses to make sure she could continue her career, and then back to the house to load up her personal items. Hunter was energetically getting in the way of her activity, seemingly oblivious to the mood and just enjoying having her back at home and begging her to throw the ball or wrestle with him. Bana was more sensitive to her mood and was following her from room to room with her head low and slinking up to beg for cuddles whenever Harley paused for a moment.

She was finally loaded up and ready to go, but she felt the tears emerging again as Ryan leaned against the fence with the dogs bouncing around beside him. She didn't want to leave. KhanCohban had been her home for the last ten years. Her life was here, her career was here. But she refused to work for people that would back out on a deal and act like she relied upon them for her career. She may not have ridden for other people, but she was sure as hell not going to stay here in that box out of fear of failing.

No. This would be hard. Harder than anything, but she needed to do it now. Today had made it very clear that KhanCohban was not where she wanted to be. Her dream of returning to the Olympic level competition was still there, but it was not on hold and she would have to build herself up alone now. It was time to prove she could do this for herself instead of for others. Finances would be tough, but at least she had a good pile of savings that were supposed to have been for Puddle's purchase.

Whatever happened now she could handle it.

She hugged Ryan tight, for slightly longer than was usual. His support and understanding was so important to her, especially after such a disturbing day. He squeezed her shoulder gently as she pulled back. "Let me know how I can help. I know it's all upsetting as hell, but you do have people here that will help and support you no matter what." He smiled at her, his own voice slightly choking as her leaving suddenly seemed to become a reality.

The dogs were harder still. Bana was anxiously whimpering and begging for attention, as eager for the affection as Harley was. But, Hunter was impossible. All he wanted was to play, and Harley hugged him for a second before giving in to the wiggling and threw the ball to keep him happy. With one last throw she wiped her eyes again before climbing into the car and starting it. Bana followed Ryan as he opened the gate and waved as Harley drove through. He reached down to rub her soft ears as they watched his car head off up the drive. It was only then that Hunter really noticed that Harley was going and he ran after the car with ball in mouth for a stretch before he finally slowed and stood still, watching it disappear down the driveway. He turned back to Ryan for a moment before looking after the car again. Never one to be unhappy for long he accepted the sudden departure with endless joy and bounded back towards the more subdued duo, ready for more fetch and playtime.

Harley tried to focus on the driving, but she could see her life shrinking in the mirror behind her. The vision was blurring slightly as the tears returned, but she dried her face and took some deep breaths to steady herself. Things would be okay. She would get herself together and sort out her next steps, and it would be fine. She could do this. She paused at the end of the driveway to check the road, indicator blinking away as she took one last breath and drove out of the KhanCohban gates.

She could do this.

--

okay about 5 refs used for the Subaru, no refs for the rest (which is why its shit) but i wanted to get this done so the plans can PROGRESS!