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SedahLiah — Dream Meadow
Published: 2009-07-12 18:45:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 1208; Favourites: 40; Downloads: 26
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Comments: 46
This is an endearing concept.
The following point of view is from someone who takes an initial approach to anything I read as 'literal'. (ie The words say what they mean.)
... As such: I'm a little confused by 'sunlight wings'; this gives me the impression of the suns rays appearing to 'fly' through a 'space' (physical area) which would require some shadowing to detect. Clouds? no - "cloudless", trees? "Meadows" are open.
If in fact this is a metaphor of a person, spirit, dream or the like traversing space on wings lit by the sun, it should be 'sunlit' wings.
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Very good point, re-reading this I believe the image of "sunlight wings" was used to describe the wind blowing across a meadow. I simply wanted to give a nice array of calming words to complement the simplistic nature of the photo. Indeed, if your eyes are first caught on the hand and the weeds, then the wind-blown pieces lead them straight to the poem. I wanted that kind of connection I suppose.
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Ah yes, of course... I fear I got lost in the words and neglected to appreciate the piece as two composites of a whole.
And this error, from a Haiga poet.
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Thank you kindly dear.
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This is really lovely, and the image goes well too. Such a pretty hand (I'm guessing its not yours 
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lol Yeah I'd be worried if it was
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I could never be a hand model lol, I mean, I play guitar so my fingers are long and slender and usually have callouses, plus I bite my fingernails. Haha worst hands ever!
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lol Yeah mate, I'm on the same boat. Only I don't play guitar or anything like that, but I bite them to hell, and so they just look horrendous! Haha. (This is probablly the girliest conversation I've ever had)
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Rainbows and stickers and ponies and myspace.com!!! 
Lol, yeah me, too. >.<
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lol You totally forgot about cute kittens, and everything cute and fluffy in general
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this is gorgeous - I'm kinda sorry to have discovered this piece so late! The scattered rhymes and pararhymes work wonders to maintain a very natural flow. And the picture complements the poem beautifully. One minor suggestion: how about putting the final 'a dream' into a separate last line, thus accentuating impact?
Keep up the great work, Rick. I think that you have all it takes to become an extraordinary writer of song lyrics - your passion for music and natural flair for poetry are excellent assets for such a thing
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Your comment means a lot leonard. Unfortunately song lyrics have stumped me whenever i've attempted to write them but i hope to get better. I've uploaded song lyrics here onto dA semi-recently to little acclaim but your opinion is flattering nonetheless. Thanks again.
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You're most welcome
dA response is not a very reliable yardstick to rely on - sometimes the most unoriginal and cliche poems steal all the limelight. I'll try to drop by and leave you some feedback tomorrow.
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The contest that this has been entered in has closed. view the results here [link]
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This sure is an awesome piece ^^ You really master connecting a picture with the words in poetry. Really good job mate ^^
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This is a really cool poem 
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This has a very interesting rhyming scheme, but that's not even what got me. You have a nice style of writing, and the photo was chose well.
"Sunlight wings fly...cry"
"upon cloudless streams"
Well written! 
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The words are so delicately chosen and fitting with the image! It's quite wonderful, I love how you've ended it with "until it all becomes a dream", it really provides it with a wistful tone.
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Thanks for commenting.
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Wow. This is such beautiful poetry, and the picture goes so well with it. I adore this piece of work!! Great job!!
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And I adore you for adoring this poem!
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This is so very very pretty and lovely and delightful
i like it alot <3
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Much thanks for commenting.
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Such a beautiful poem and the photography is gorgeous. Did you take it yourself?
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Much thanks. I did take it myself, but I'm still an amateur, some friends of mine are photography savvy and I get to use their cameras to put some of my own ideas on film.
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You're a pro at this. I love this piece. I envy your talent.
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incredible. i am so jealous of your writing. well done :]
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I'm flattered but you're a great writer, as well.
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Thank you very much.
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