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Description
I am a technical writer. In college I took creative writing 4 times and failed it 4 times. It was the last class I needed to achieve my AA English Degree and I failed, which is why I have a General Degree and not an English Degree. Later when working on my Bachelors in Game Design I took creative writing a 5th and final time. I passed with a "C". This is one of my greatest achievements.

When I was young I wrote poetry and I was quite skilled at it. Even now, I look at the poems I wrote in English, German, and ASL and I am surprised that my childhood self had such insight, audacity, and pain. Perhaps I am biased because these poems have an audience of 1. They were written for me, and only for me. But even poetry has a technical, mathematical element to it that makes it akin to music for me. I love math, I can write in math. I wrote in math for myself.

So when I decided I was going to write a book, it was obvious who the audience would be. I started with a children's book. I figured as an artist, I could say more with pictures than I could with words. I finished the book, but never published. It was a book for me. I love it, it reminds me to love myself.

And now this, embarking on a journey to write a novel. I'm insane. I'm a terrible creative writer and I know it. But I was so bored with the books I was reading. I kept searching for something that met the exploratory, scientific fact-based sci-fi adventure books that I'd grown up with, largely written by men. It seems so many books these days are focused on romance, magic, vampires, or worse... all 3. I don't mind a good story in any setting, but I was craving exploration, space, and science. I was craving it from a woman's voice, or at least, a voice who understands that struggle. It didn't matter before, I don't know why it matters now. I found a couple books which met that craving, but not enough to fill it. Why not me? A book written in my own voice would be most catered to me.

It's taken a long time to write this first chapter, and even this I consider my first draft. I am writing at my own pace, with the little time I have. My goal here is the discipline to continue until it's finished, however long it takes. Word progress doesn't matter because I am so consumed by trying to be a good provider for my family that any amount of words is enough. I'm not aiming to create what would be considered a good story to my peers. My goal is a book I want to read, and re-read. It's a book for me. If you happen to enjoy it, then that would be a pleasant side effect. I hope that it is read within the context that I am simply a 38 year old child playing pretend and writing down what feels right for myself.

When I worked at Disney I showed my children's book to the storyboard writer, who was one of my mentors. When he read my book he told me to remember that every work we create will be criticized by someone somewhere. But it will also resonate with someone somewhere. That's why it's important to create and to keep creating. So I will keep creating, despite the constant rejection and struggle I experience as a so-called woman in the Game Industry. Here's a little piece of my heart, please don't tear it down. I might look strong on the outside, but I am always that 7 year old kid trapped in an impossible situation.

Description
I am a technical writer. In college I took creative writing 4 times and failed it 4 times. It was the last class I needed to achieve my AA English Degree and I failed, which is why I have a General Degree and not an English Degree. Later when working on my Bachelors in Game Design I took creative writing a 5th and final time. I passed with a "C". This is one of my greatest achievements.

When I was young I wrote poetry and I was quite skilled at it. Even now, I look at the poems I wrote in English, German, and ASL and I am surprised that my childhood self had such insight, audacity, and pain. Perhaps I am biased because these poems have an audience of 1. They were written for me, and only for me. But even poetry has a technical, mathematical element to it that makes it akin to music for me. I love math, I can write in math. I wrote in math for myself.

So when I decided I was going to write a book, it was obvious who the audience would be. I started with a children's book. I figured as an artist, I could say more with pictures than I could with words. I finished the book, but never published. It was a book for me. I love it, it reminds me to love myself.

And now this, embarking on a journey to write a novel. I'm insane. I'm a terrible creative writer and I know it. But I was so bored with the books I was reading. I kept searching for something that met the exploratory, scientific fact-based sci-fi adventure books that I'd grown up with, largely written by men. It seems so many books these days are focused on romance, magic, vampires, or worse... all 3. I don't mind a good story in any setting, but I was craving exploration, space, and science. I was craving it from a woman's voice, or at least, a voice who understands that struggle. It didn't matter before, I don't know why it matters now. I found a couple books which met that craving, but not enough to fill it. Why not me? A book written in my own voice would be most catered to me.

It's taken a long time to write this first chapter, and even this I consider my first draft. I am writing at my own pace, with the little time I have. My goal here is the discipline to continue until it's finished, however long it takes. Word progress doesn't matter because I am so consumed by trying to be a good provider for my family that any amount of words is enough. I'm not aiming to create what would be considered a good story to my peers. My goal is a book I want to read, and re-read. It's a book for me. If you happen to enjoy it, then that would be a pleasant side effect. I hope that it is read within the context that I am simply a 38 year old child playing pretend and writing down what feels right for myself.

When I worked at Disney I showed my children's book to the storyboard writer, who was one of my mentors. When he read my book he told me to remember that every work we create will be criticized by someone somewhere. But it will also resonate with someone somewhere. That's why it's important to create and to keep creating. So I will keep creating, despite the constant rejection and struggle I experience as a so-called woman in the Game Industry. Here's a little piece of my heart, please don't tear it down. I might look strong on the outside, but I am always that 7 year old kid trapped in an impossible situation.