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Servial — You Stomp
Published: 2004-10-03 06:26:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 379; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 13
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Description
You stomp on my heart,that is dead from the pain.
When you ripped it right out,
from your devilish game.
It bleeds from the inside,
and feels its way out.
It bubbles and reeks,
it festers and bleeds,
it crawls on the dirt,
and it kills when it screams!
Making its way to my chest where it hides,
it burrows inside--
and takes over my mind!
Which is weak from the pain,
from your devilish game.
I twist in my bed,
I want to be dead.
I want you to see what you've done to my head!
It's thoughts and desires,
which burns like a fire.
You fed it with pain--
now it broke its chains!
I walk through my room,
a zombie in thought.
All thanks to you...
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Comments: 30
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Stompingly good I must hasten to add!
"If you were my lucky charm, It would do me no harm to wear you every day" -Dutchshun poet.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I love the poem, with all it's evilness and burbuling blood and Grrrrrnesss.
Although I feel sorry for you. *opens the oven and puts a dozen vertual cookis in* This calls for my extra special cookie sprinkles of HAPPY! ^^ They're pink!
.
.
j/k ^^ pink is evil, unless you like pink. . . then its . . . uh . . . not so evil. yeah thats right.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
dont worrie about weither it feal natural or not, its all about the message you try and convay with it, no matter what you do each person will dake a slightly diffrent view on it. Personaly i say good job!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank ye, its all in the feelings that go into that message. Fortunatlyey (or not) my life is fucked up enough to where I can do that >.<
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
well i think it is verry good! i love your writings keep them commin but feel better
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I always feel like this, which is why being around you makes me feel better.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
im sorry i just have to say "dont hate the player, hate the game" or is it the other way around...... shit i dunno
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"who is the more foolish? the fool? or the fool who follows him?"
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
the fool who follows him, because then at least he cant be blamed for his actions
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
You stomp on my heart,
that is dead from the pain.
When you ripped it right out,
from your devilish game.
......i love the above line
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I really like it. Kinda like what the evil cold germ does to me. *stomps on the evil cold germ*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hey I like this one, the imagery is great. Dont tell me you arent a good poet ever again Evan.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You're too kind. Thank you muchly.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm no good at critique. But it's good. Kind of depressing, but good.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
my shits always depressing. thak ye
👍: 0 ⏩: 0