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"This is the worse plan. Ever" Grimoir D'Aryy, the dwarf paladin, whispered nervous, trying to spy from the corner deeper in the catacombs of Zannas, "it will never work"

"At least it's not simply charging headfirst into a den of the Thieves Guild" Elda 'Lady Beard' Avermont, a dwarf as well -but a rogue- said, trying to calm Grimoir.

"If we were going to try something as stupid at this, at least it could have done it Alan! or Laral! Basically ANYBODY ELSE but Bog!"

The Half elf mage and the human bard smiled at the Paladin.

"Oh, don't worry so much! The plan may be bananas, but if something, Bog knows how to be convincing!" Alan the bard said. "And if he gets himself in troubles, we are at hand to help!"

"Shhh!" whispered the rogue. "He's closing in, and I want to hear!"

The four became silent and watched anxiously from the distance: there, blocking a wooden door was a Vanolosé Brown Orc... and marching toward him -with the dumbest of all smiles, at least according to Grimoir- was Bog the Barbarian.

"Hello, fellow Vanolosé!"

The bouncer focused on him his small beady eyes, giving a snort. "Don't you know to read?!" he growled, pointing a sign crudely written on the wall, adorned with skulls of the catacombs to get the message further across. "Members. Only. Get Lost."

"Heeey! My Man! I'm a member!"

The bouncer snorted.

"This is an exclusive, respectable gentleorc establishment. Vanolosé only."

"You can tell? I'm a Vanolosé too!"

"Clearly. You are. Not."

"Aha! I see, your beady little eyes are way more perceptive that one could guess! You caught me! I'm only a half Vanolosé! Can I get in now?"

"Look, ADVENTURER. You should have just continued killing giant rats in the cellars and collecting twenty of one or other item for traders, rather than accept a mission against the interests of the thieves Guild. Your disguise fools no one: you just put two bananas in your mouth and stuffed your shirt with... hay and some pillows I guess, you fool!

So get lost, or I will put these bananas elsewhere, and the walking back to whatever gutter you come from will be way more awkward than it was to come dressed like that!"

Bog took off his mouth the banana and loosened his belt, dropping to the floor the pillows and hay which he used to fill... but in the same movement, he took from it a dangerous looking dagger that in a swift movement he put in the double chin of the bouncer.

"My, my, you are a perceptible fellow! But are you as sensible as well?" he said in a dangerous tone. The bouncer gulped, calculating if he would have time to crush that insect and get his hands in his club before he got his neck sliced. Chances didn't looked good.

"What do you want, Adventurer?" the Vanolosé guard of the Thieves Guild exclusive establishment -the Baths of the Catacombs, where the bosses of the organised crime gathered- asked.

"Oh, almost nothing! Just to play a dice game!"

"...A... dice game?"

Bog flashed from his tunic a purse full of coins and a dice with twenty faces.

"A dice game! Very simple one! The ones who roll higher, gets the bet! I will be betting all these coins, you see!"

The primal greed of the Vanolosé ignited in the bouncer, almost forgetting the dagger to his neck. "And what would happen if YOU win?"

"You let me in, because my flawless disguise worked... and that way, you can't be blamed"

The brown orc thought for a moment, before nodding. "Zannas Adventurers Guild Rules?" he asked. This time Bog nodded, as he hid again in the large Vanolosé shirt his dagger.

The orc pulled from his belt his own twenty faces dice, and both players crouched to the floor to throw their dices.

"You are trying to use a disguise. That's a charisma roll, right?" the bouncer asked. Bog pulled out a paper -titled character sheet- and showed it to the orc.

"Indeed, a charisma throw. I have +3 in these. And you would be rolling perception."

The bouncer gave him a wicked smile. "Yeah. But don't forget that the Vanolosé racial bonus in Zannas Adventurers Guild Rules is +4 in all throws" Bog frowned. He almost forgot that as the Vanolosé wrote the rules, they tilted them in their favour. "And as a professional bouncer, I get even a +1 in perception. That coin purse is as good as mine" the bouncer said. With the dagger off his neck, he could very well now try to crush the insect that dared to stood him, but as a Vanolosé he liked more the feel to gamble -specially if he had little to loose-.

He threw first. "15" he announced.

"15 with the bonus?" asked Bog with hope. The bouncer denied it.

"Natural 15. With all the bonus, it's 20. You better don't embarrass yourself, so give me my coin and get lost" he said, extending his large hands to his prize.

But then Bog rolled his dice.

"YES!"

"Yes, what?!" asked the bouncer. Bog pointed his dice.

"A Natural 20, you sucker!!"

Then Bouncer groaned... but accepted his luck, as any proper Vanolosé should do, or lady luck may stop smiling at him. With a grown, he stood and opened the door, while Bog was quick to stuck in his mouth the bananas and stuff his shirt with the pillows.

"Fellow Vanolosé" he said, as he crossed the door.

The bouncer rolled his beady eyes, before answering "Fellow Vanolosé", closing the door behind Bog.

Back in the corner of the catacomb, Grimoir d'Aryy couldn't believe what he had seen.

"Why the surprise?" the bard said with a smile. "Vanolosé like to play by the rule book... and Bog knows the book!"

Bog the Half Vanolosé was part of the Item 6000 Auction and was won by . Some of his companions mentioned here in the story -the Half Elf Mage, the Dwarf Rogue and the Human Bard- are his creations as well!

Description
"This is the worse plan. Ever" Grimoir D'Aryy, the dwarf paladin, whispered nervous, trying to spy from the corner deeper in the catacombs of Zannas, "it will never work"

"At least it's not simply charging headfirst into a den of the Thieves Guild" Elda 'Lady Beard' Avermont, a dwarf as well -but a rogue- said, trying to calm Grimoir.

"If we were going to try something as stupid at this, at least it could have done it Alan! or Laral! Basically ANYBODY ELSE but Bog!"

The Half elf mage and the human bard smiled at the Paladin.

"Oh, don't worry so much! The plan may be bananas, but if something, Bog knows how to be convincing!" Alan the bard said. "And if he gets himself in troubles, we are at hand to help!"

"Shhh!" whispered the rogue. "He's closing in, and I want to hear!"

The four became silent and watched anxiously from the distance: there, blocking a wooden door was a Vanolosé Brown Orc... and marching toward him -with the dumbest of all smiles, at least according to Grimoir- was Bog the Barbarian.

"Hello, fellow Vanolosé!"

The bouncer focused on him his small beady eyes, giving a snort. "Don't you know to read?!" he growled, pointing a sign crudely written on the wall, adorned with skulls of the catacombs to get the message further across. "Members. Only. Get Lost."

"Heeey! My Man! I'm a member!"

The bouncer snorted.

"This is an exclusive, respectable gentleorc establishment. Vanolosé only."

"You can tell? I'm a Vanolosé too!"

"Clearly. You are. Not."

"Aha! I see, your beady little eyes are way more perceptive that one could guess! You caught me! I'm only a half Vanolosé! Can I get in now?"

"Look, ADVENTURER. You should have just continued killing giant rats in the cellars and collecting twenty of one or other item for traders, rather than accept a mission against the interests of the thieves Guild. Your disguise fools no one: you just put two bananas in your mouth and stuffed your shirt with... hay and some pillows I guess, you fool!

So get lost, or I will put these bananas elsewhere, and the walking back to whatever gutter you come from will be way more awkward than it was to come dressed like that!"

Bog took off his mouth the banana and loosened his belt, dropping to the floor the pillows and hay which he used to fill... but in the same movement, he took from it a dangerous looking dagger that in a swift movement he put in the double chin of the bouncer.

"My, my, you are a perceptible fellow! But are you as sensible as well?" he said in a dangerous tone. The bouncer gulped, calculating if he would have time to crush that insect and get his hands in his club before he got his neck sliced. Chances didn't looked good.

"What do you want, Adventurer?" the Vanolosé guard of the Thieves Guild exclusive establishment -the Baths of the Catacombs, where the bosses of the organised crime gathered- asked.

"Oh, almost nothing! Just to play a dice game!"

"...A... dice game?"

Bog flashed from his tunic a purse full of coins and a dice with twenty faces.

"A dice game! Very simple one! The ones who roll higher, gets the bet! I will be betting all these coins, you see!"

The primal greed of the Vanolosé ignited in the bouncer, almost forgetting the dagger to his neck. "And what would happen if YOU win?"

"You let me in, because my flawless disguise worked... and that way, you can't be blamed"

The brown orc thought for a moment, before nodding. "Zannas Adventurers Guild Rules?" he asked. This time Bog nodded, as he hid again in the large Vanolosé shirt his dagger.

The orc pulled from his belt his own twenty faces dice, and both players crouched to the floor to throw their dices.

"You are trying to use a disguise. That's a charisma roll, right?" the bouncer asked. Bog pulled out a paper -titled character sheet- and showed it to the orc.

"Indeed, a charisma throw. I have +3 in these. And you would be rolling perception."

The bouncer gave him a wicked smile. "Yeah. But don't forget that the Vanolosé racial bonus in Zannas Adventurers Guild Rules is +4 in all throws" Bog frowned. He almost forgot that as the Vanolosé wrote the rules, they tilted them in their favour. "And as a professional bouncer, I get even a +1 in perception. That coin purse is as good as mine" the bouncer said. With the dagger off his neck, he could very well now try to crush the insect that dared to stood him, but as a Vanolosé he liked more the feel to gamble -specially if he had little to loose-.

He threw first. "15" he announced.

"15 with the bonus?" asked Bog with hope. The bouncer denied it.

"Natural 15. With all the bonus, it's 20. You better don't embarrass yourself, so give me my coin and get lost" he said, extending his large hands to his prize.

But then Bog rolled his dice.

"YES!"

"Yes, what?!" asked the bouncer. Bog pointed his dice.

"A Natural 20, you sucker!!"

Then Bouncer groaned... but accepted his luck, as any proper Vanolosé should do, or lady luck may stop smiling at him. With a grown, he stood and opened the door, while Bog was quick to stuck in his mouth the bananas and stuff his shirt with the pillows.

"Fellow Vanolosé" he said, as he crossed the door.

The bouncer rolled his beady eyes, before answering "Fellow Vanolosé", closing the door behind Bog.

Back in the corner of the catacomb, Grimoir d'Aryy couldn't believe what he had seen.

"Why the surprise?" the bard said with a smile. "Vanolosé like to play by the rule book... and Bog knows the book!"

Bog the Half Vanolosé was part of the Item 6000 Auction and was won by . Some of his companions mentioned here in the story -the Half Elf Mage, the Dwarf Rogue and the Human Bard- are his creations as well!