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ShadowhawkOne — Peril Trek page 1
Published: 2017-01-17 20:55:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 2125; Favourites: 24; Downloads: 120
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As promised here is page 1 of Peril Trek, my adventure into mayhem and debauchery at the expense of Lt. Commander T'Lera. Follow along as she goes from one adventure to another as I find different and unusual way to torment her. BTW ... this is all in my version of Star Trek and is in no way cannon. Cannons belong on tanks and ships .. not my story!Page 2 is here:
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Comments: 40
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Thanks glad you like the story
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I want more! I hope she doesn't run into Lt. Ho Tamer, that guy could be trouble.
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No but I think she runs into his Cousin ... Commander Ass Spanker
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That is what she is going to say too.
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I bet you are Denise ... I bet you are!
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Thank you very much, I figured it was time to get back into doing a comic.
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I want her swinsuit like outfit become canon XD
By the way, I love the curves you did on them
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Well This will be her uniform when she is in it, and I am glad you like her curves. If you keep watching I can promise you will see more of them.
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Nice work so far. I love the lighting and costumes and the ship in the background. The huge amount of text is a little off-putting though, if I had to offer one criticism. But I also get you're trying to tell a story.
The floor detail and reflections off the floor look pretty incredible too.
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Thanks for the comment and the input. Once the first couple of panels are done there will be less text and more image. As you said I just need to get the setup for the story going and then the action will tell a lot of the story. Iray does make for some great reflections so I can't take all of the credit ... well maybe most of it.
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Nah, I get it. I get bogged down by wanting to provide a lot of dialogue too but what I've learned to do instead is have a brief 1 or 2 bubble conversation and then put a recap / overview in a single large text box to fill in some empty space.
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Not a bad idea, I may have to give that a try for the next page. Thanks for the tip.
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Up to you, just might make your life easier too.
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That is a good thing in itself.
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Another option is to spread the dialogue out over more than one image. It is more work, though. Of course you could "cheat" a bit by using the same image file but with different camera angles.
But in a lot of ways this opens like many ST:TNG episodes that I remember, with a lot of setup required before the plot really kicks in...
The image is wonderfully detailed though, and I really like the distinctive look you've given each character. T'Lera's one of the hottest-looking Vulcans I've ever seen...
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I really appreciate the input DG1, You have a great set up for your comics and I really appreciate the thoughtful and helpful info you have shared. I can promise you will get to see a lot more of her as the story goes along. I might eve do a few more pinups of her and the crew as the story progresses.
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I agree with both RP and DG1. Great render and the scene looks cool, but I admit that I was stunned by the big amount of bubbles. But it's a mistake I made myself a few times
The problem doesn't lie in a simple "tl;dr", but more in the fact that if the reader stops to read all the text then it also stops looking at the picture. The image kind of "disappears" half-way through the reading.
I think the "cheat" solution of DG1 is a nice idea, but i wouldn't consider it cheating. Why it should be considered cheating when it's not? After all when you watch a long exchange of people talking in a movie or cartoon the scene stays still, and only the camera angle and other little details change. So it's not a cheat.
Also i strongly suggest to differentiate the "diary" bubble from the other bubbles. Maybe a different colour for the text or the bubble?
P.S. I found two typos, "intelignece" in commandant's last bubble and "comandant" in T'lera's last bubble
P.P.S. T'lera is so h'awt
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It may add a few pages to the comic but I think that his idea might be the best option here. Yeah I am learning that Comic life 3 doesn't have the best autocorrect so I am going to start doing the text in word and then transferring it over to prevent that problem in the future.
Tell you what I will do something with T'Lera just so you can enjoy more of her.
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I know just the image to do too. BTW what is your favorite type of gag?
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Tape
Thank you for asking!
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You are more than welcome!
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Pinups are good. Peril is better.
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How about peril pinups?
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Awesome page to start the comic proper my friend. We know now why she is there it remains to be seen how the investigation goes
Great render too, love the whole space dock scene and the uniforms
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Thanks Duck, I appreciate the comment and giving me feedback as I created this page.
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I will give Dee the credit....before she hurts me
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