DragonsWingArt [2006-03-30 08:32:02 +0000 UTC]
Zach this is an outstanding story. It jumps into the story right away. I'm very interested as to what will happen next.
However there were certain parts where I think you could have developed more. Mainly describing scenes. I feel as though there wasn't enough depth and it felt as though you went though the story way too fast.
I think that if you develope some more to the scenes (excluding the scen of the fire that ones was great) it was help to capture the reader even more.
Still the story kicks ass!
I hope you will write more!
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