Comments: 25
brunotoru [2018-06-24 18:53:52 +0000 UTC]
"Spike's crush on Rarity has always been unhealthy."
Care to explain why?
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Shimazun In reply to brunotoru [2018-06-24 22:39:56 +0000 UTC]
Age difference.
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Jose-Ramiro [2018-06-24 04:01:34 +0000 UTC]
Wow very cool.
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SpartanJohh117 In reply to Jose-Ramiro [2018-06-24 05:34:52 +0000 UTC]
Did you know more than 9/10 beach kissers die!
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DSeven-Archive [2018-06-24 01:42:59 +0000 UTC]
The picture is beautiful. The night sky and the ocean look so realistic, and they look so. I don’t know, I don’t want to repeat beautiful XD And I think you nailed what each of them felt in that moment, not exactly that. Spike looking so seductive, but Rarity like, if she was freeing something, but still, that didn’t helped her
About the story, I loved it. Me myself don’t like romance very much, but I have my exceptions. I love when someone shows a relationship and how deep and full of meaning it can be. And you managed to trap me in your story. I love the concept of their relationship, yeah it’s sad, but the concept it’s really really interesting. And the way you portrayed the moment... I absolutely loved it
The only change I would make, would be the first conversation. The way you wrote the Rarity-Spike moment and theirs was really different, and I think it would have been better if you had used the most detailed one for both (I don’t really know what to call it). That’s the only detail
Anyways, awesome job with this
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Shimazun In reply to DSeven-Archive [2018-06-24 11:08:17 +0000 UTC]
Damn, thanks a lot for the nice and detailed feedback!
Do you mean the picture I tagged in the description? That conversation? The "break-up"?
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Shimazun In reply to DSeven-Archive [2018-06-25 08:15:28 +0000 UTC]
Hm...but they are speaking differently because this happens before Rarity comes out and Spike feels betrayed.
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Bonniebro136 [2018-06-23 23:38:22 +0000 UTC]
Omg AHH True love. im no mlp fan but damn.
This story is good!
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Demegor [2018-06-23 22:10:49 +0000 UTC]
"you have something in your mouth. let me help"
'dragon mouth noises'
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Shimazun In reply to Demegor [2018-06-23 22:20:03 +0000 UTC]
Haha
yeah
ew xD
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Demegor In reply to Shimazun [2018-06-23 22:52:39 +0000 UTC]
...she had a skittle in her mouth.
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