HOME | DD

Description

This means war Michaelis! : Sebastian X Reader

*This continues on from another one of my deviations, Thief. There's a link in the info section thing if you haven't read it yet. It would help you understand what's going on a fair bit.*

Anything in italics are your thoughts!

Warning: There's some language and stuff but again I'm not sure it's enough to put a filter on.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your POV:

“Well… Isn’t this quite the predicament?” Your target spoke softly. “It seems like we have a little thief.” He sighed. “I have no time for such trivial matters as this… I suppose I’ll just have to deal with you indefinitely.”

You prepared yourself for a fight but was hit by a force you would never expect could come from a man like him. The last thing you saw before you blacked out was a pair of bright fuchsia eyes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You opened your eyes, groaning. You could see nothing but white haziness. Not to mention your head was killing. Slowly your eyes began to focus to reveal… the ass of your target. (And a fine ass it was.)

It seems like he’d knocked you out. How you weren’t sure. But now you’d regained consciousness you could see he’d carelessly flung you over his shoulder and was taking you somewhere.

You closed your eyes, trying to remember your target; now your captor.

Let’s see now… Quite tall, slim frame yet must be muscular judging by how easily he knocked me out. He was wearing a butler’s uniform (pretty smart too might I add) so obviously a servant. Now, concentrate on the face. Hmm… You scrunched up your nose in concentration. Aha! Dark crimson eyes though I could’ve sworn they were fuchsia when he attacked me. Pale skin, defined cheekbones and raven black hair that hung in bangs around his face.

You turned your attention back to the ground (ignoring the magnificent ass for now), watching it pass you by.

“I see you’re awake now, thief.”

“About to gloat are we?” You muttered. “I thought you were going to ‘deal with me indefinitely.’” You mimicked his voice at the end.

He chuckled. “I was… But then I had an idea that was MUCH better.”

Well shit. “And what would that be butler?”

“You will become a servant.”

“Where and will I get paid?”

“You will work for free at the Phantomhive Manor.”

Aw HELL NO! I’m not working in that creepy place. Especially with all those rumours surrounding it. And ESPECIALLY not for free. I need to get away from this guy. An idea popped into your head.

Without warning, you kneed the butler in the stomach. At least you tried to. He’d caught your legs at the last second.

“Now. Now. I’m not letting you get away that-”

“Au contraire!” You gave that spectacular ass a spectacular SMACK! Drop me. Drop me. Drop me. Drop me. Drop me. You chanted in your head.

The butler didn’t. Instead a shudder ran through his body, causing him to grip your legs tighter.

“Miss Thief. Please refrain from touching my behind.” His voice remained monotonous except for a slight crack in the middle.

That didn’t work. Maybe if I groped it… You reached for the ass again.

He sighed heavily before spinning you round so instead you faced his… let’s call it the bit-on-the-opposite-side-of-the-buttocks shall we? Anyway, you were directly facing his bit-on-the-opposite-side-of-the-buttocks.

“Don’t even think about it.” He cut off your train of thought.

“I’m not THAT dirty.” You lied.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’d both been walking for a while. Well the butler had been walking whilst you’d been swaying side to side with only a couple hundred cares in the world.

Bored, you decided to test his patience. You started with the sigh test.

*Sigh*… No reaction.

*Siiiiiiigh*… No reaction.

*Ssssssiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggghhhhhhh*… His eyebrow twitched.

*Ssssssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

“Something the matter Miss Thief?” He asked.

“Oh no. Not at all.” Sarcasm was laced into your voice.

3… 2… 1… Deep breath now and

*SSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

He stopped dead and sighed. Seeing your chance to annoy, you sighed back. Then he did. Then you did. Then he did. Then you did and so on.

The butler let out one final sigh before dropping you on the ground.

“What the hell was that for?!” You snarled.

He ignored your question. Adjusting his perfectly white gloves, the butler continued on his path.

You stood up, waiting. You grinned when he stopped and looked over his shoulder at you.

You gave him two middle fingers (one on the left, one on the right) then for extra emphasis gave him two wanker signs.

Basking in his stunned expression, you laughed and dashed in the opposite direction.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was dark by the time you got back to London. Surprisingly, you were in a part of London you were unfamiliar with. However you knew most of the capital which meant it wouldn’t take long for you to realise where you were.

You played it safe by heading onto the roof-tops. From there you’d be able to spot Big Ben. Landmarks are essential when one is lost. They’re great for finding the way home.

Or as close to home as I’m gonna get. You added on bitterly. Hm… Nope… Nope… Nope… You scanned the vicinity before spotting a funny little spiky point next to a smaller rectangle with lots of little spiky points. There we go. Big Ben and the House of Commons.

Except there was one slight problem… One slight red-haired problem…

“Why hello there.” The problem purred.

Oh my God. The problem can talk. Your eyes widened at the problem.

Before you, blocking your way to Big Ben stood a man with long red hair. He was wearing a red jacket around his elbows with some form of black/brown suit. You took note of his glasses.

Probably be useless without those. Okay. If he attacks go for the glasses. Though what’s that he’s – HOLY HELL! HE HAS POINTY TEETH! WHO THE HELL HAS POINTY TEETH?! You took a – very visible – step back as the problem smiled at you; revealing sharp, white teeth filed to a point.

The problem laughed. “Why darling! There’s no need to be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you. Unless I have to of course.”

“Not to be rude. But why are you here?”

“Oh that. You see… Hehe~ It’s quite simple… YOU TRIED TO STEAL MY DEAR BASSY FROM ME! DIDN’T YOU?! YOU – YOU-”

“Who’s ‘Bassy?’ I’ve never heard of him before.”

“‘Who’s Bassy?’ ‘WHO’S BASSY?!’” He started striking dramatic poses. “He is the centre of our world! The meaning of my existence! The Romeo to my-”

Does he ever shut up? Meh. Whoever this Bassy guy is better watch out.

“-with his butler suit and-”

“Oh now I get it.”

“You do?!” His eyes widened.

“Yeah. He’s that asshole who kidnapped me. You think I tried to steal him? You can have him! I want nothing to do with that Phantomhive butler!”

“Well this is awkward.” The problem brought out a pair of safety scissors. “I have no reason to kill you now…”

Kill… Moi?! You let it slide. “Who are you anyway? And how did you come to the conclusion I was trying to steal your ‘Bassy’?”

“I am Grell Sutcliffe! The most fabulous re-ahhh-human there is!”

What was that? Never heard of a ‘re-ahhh’ before.

“And I know about you, my dear, from my weekly visit to the Phantomhive Manor. My poor, POOR Bassy. He looked so tired… So strained… So annoyed… He kept muttering about some “thief girl from the marketplace” and how she “stole my prized pocket watch.””

You chuckled darkly, stroking the “prized pocket watch” that was still in your pocket.

“I see… So what happened then?”

“I asked him for the full story of course. I squeezed out every little detail. It wasn’t easy I’ll have you know. Bassy can be very tight lipped.”

“And you casually decided to find me then kill me?”

“Yes!”

This guy’s a loon. One hell of a loon. Though I do like his fashion sense.

“I know!”

“What now? I really must be going.” You attempted to walk past him.

“You’re not going anywhere!” He brandished the safety scissors at you.

“That’s REAL threatening y’know. I’m shaking in my stolen boots.” You scoffed.

“Very funny. I hate these things too. But I’ll be needing you for a little while longer.”

“Well I’m simply DYING to know why-”

Grell charged at you, throwing you over one shoulder and leaping into the sky.

“WHAT THE HELL?! THIS ISNT POSSIBLE! NOBODY CAN JUMP THIS HIGH! WHAT IN GOD’S NAME ARE YOU?!”

“I thought you were unconscious.” Grell mused. “Never mind. Now be quiet dear or you’ll wake up everybody in London.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grell touched down in front of a huge mansion.

“Have we stopped moving?” You had a hand over your mouth.

“Yes.”

“Can you put me down?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see.”

“I’m going to be sick…”

“DON’T YOU DARE BE SICK ALL OVER MY BRAND NEW RED JACKET!”

“My my… Isn’t this quite a surprise…” A familiar voice entered the scene. “Seems to me we’ll be having a new Phantomhive maid after all.”

You looked up to see the butler smirking down at you.

“If you dare make me a maid then this will mean war.” You growled.

He chuckled. “Then war it is Miss Thief.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~~~~Extended Ending: ~~~~

“May I have my pocket watch back now Miss Thief?”

“You can stick it up your arse.”

Description

This means war Michaelis! : Sebastian X Reader

*This continues on from another one of my deviations, Thief. There's a link in the info section thing if you haven't read it yet. It would help you understand what's going on a fair bit.*

Anything in italics are your thoughts!

Warning: There's some language and stuff but again I'm not sure it's enough to put a filter on.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your POV:

“Well… Isn’t this quite the predicament?” Your target spoke softly. “It seems like we have a little thief.” He sighed. “I have no time for such trivial matters as this… I suppose I’ll just have to deal with you indefinitely.”

You prepared yourself for a fight but was hit by a force you would never expect could come from a man like him. The last thing you saw before you blacked out was a pair of bright fuchsia eyes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You opened your eyes, groaning. You could see nothing but white haziness. Not to mention your head was killing. Slowly your eyes began to focus to reveal… the ass of your target. (And a fine ass it was.)

It seems like he’d knocked you out. How you weren’t sure. But now you’d regained consciousness you could see he’d carelessly flung you over his shoulder and was taking you somewhere.

You closed your eyes, trying to remember your target; now your captor.

Let’s see now… Quite tall, slim frame yet must be muscular judging by how easily he knocked me out. He was wearing a butler’s uniform (pretty smart too might I add) so obviously a servant. Now, concentrate on the face. Hmm… You scrunched up your nose in concentration. Aha! Dark crimson eyes though I could’ve sworn they were fuchsia when he attacked me. Pale skin, defined cheekbones and raven black hair that hung in bangs around his face.

You turned your attention back to the ground (ignoring the magnificent ass for now), watching it pass you by.

“I see you’re awake now, thief.”

“About to gloat are we?” You muttered. “I thought you were going to ‘deal with me indefinitely.’” You mimicked his voice at the end.

He chuckled. “I was… But then I had an idea that was MUCH better.”

Well shit. “And what would that be butler?”

“You will become a servant.”

“Where and will I get paid?”

“You will work for free at the Phantomhive Manor.”

Aw HELL NO! I’m not working in that creepy place. Especially with all those rumours surrounding it. And ESPECIALLY not for free. I need to get away from this guy. An idea popped into your head.

Without warning, you kneed the butler in the stomach. At least you tried to. He’d caught your legs at the last second.

“Now. Now. I’m not letting you get away that-”

“Au contraire!” You gave that spectacular ass a spectacular SMACK! Drop me. Drop me. Drop me. Drop me. Drop me. You chanted in your head.

The butler didn’t. Instead a shudder ran through his body, causing him to grip your legs tighter.

“Miss Thief. Please refrain from touching my behind.” His voice remained monotonous except for a slight crack in the middle.

That didn’t work. Maybe if I groped it… You reached for the ass again.

He sighed heavily before spinning you round so instead you faced his… let’s call it the bit-on-the-opposite-side-of-the-buttocks shall we? Anyway, you were directly facing his bit-on-the-opposite-side-of-the-buttocks.

“Don’t even think about it.” He cut off your train of thought.

“I’m not THAT dirty.” You lied.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’d both been walking for a while. Well the butler had been walking whilst you’d been swaying side to side with only a couple hundred cares in the world.

Bored, you decided to test his patience. You started with the sigh test.

*Sigh*… No reaction.

*Siiiiiiigh*… No reaction.

*Ssssssiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggghhhhhhh*… His eyebrow twitched.

*Ssssssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

“Something the matter Miss Thief?” He asked.

“Oh no. Not at all.” Sarcasm was laced into your voice.

3… 2… 1… Deep breath now and

*SSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

He stopped dead and sighed. Seeing your chance to annoy, you sighed back. Then he did. Then you did. Then he did. Then you did and so on.

The butler let out one final sigh before dropping you on the ground.

“What the hell was that for?!” You snarled.

He ignored your question. Adjusting his perfectly white gloves, the butler continued on his path.

You stood up, waiting. You grinned when he stopped and looked over his shoulder at you.

You gave him two middle fingers (one on the left, one on the right) then for extra emphasis gave him two wanker signs.

Basking in his stunned expression, you laughed and dashed in the opposite direction.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was dark by the time you got back to London. Surprisingly, you were in a part of London you were unfamiliar with. However you knew most of the capital which meant it wouldn’t take long for you to realise where you were.

You played it safe by heading onto the roof-tops. From there you’d be able to spot Big Ben. Landmarks are essential when one is lost. They’re great for finding the way home.

Or as close to home as I’m gonna get. You added on bitterly. Hm… Nope… Nope… Nope… You scanned the vicinity before spotting a funny little spiky point next to a smaller rectangle with lots of little spiky points. There we go. Big Ben and the House of Commons.

Except there was one slight problem… One slight red-haired problem…

“Why hello there.” The problem purred.

Oh my God. The problem can talk. Your eyes widened at the problem.

Before you, blocking your way to Big Ben stood a man with long red hair. He was wearing a red jacket around his elbows with some form of black/brown suit. You took note of his glasses.

Probably be useless without those. Okay. If he attacks go for the glasses. Though what’s that he’s – HOLY HELL! HE HAS POINTY TEETH! WHO THE HELL HAS POINTY TEETH?! You took a – very visible – step back as the problem smiled at you; revealing sharp, white teeth filed to a point.

The problem laughed. “Why darling! There’s no need to be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you. Unless I have to of course.”

“Not to be rude. But why are you here?”

“Oh that. You see… Hehe~ It’s quite simple… YOU TRIED TO STEAL MY DEAR BASSY FROM ME! DIDN’T YOU?! YOU – YOU-”

“Who’s ‘Bassy?’ I’ve never heard of him before.”

“‘Who’s Bassy?’ ‘WHO’S BASSY?!’” He started striking dramatic poses. “He is the centre of our world! The meaning of my existence! The Romeo to my-”

Does he ever shut up? Meh. Whoever this Bassy guy is better watch out.

“-with his butler suit and-”

“Oh now I get it.”

“You do?!” His eyes widened.

“Yeah. He’s that asshole who kidnapped me. You think I tried to steal him? You can have him! I want nothing to do with that Phantomhive butler!”

“Well this is awkward.” The problem brought out a pair of safety scissors. “I have no reason to kill you now…”

Kill… Moi?! You let it slide. “Who are you anyway? And how did you come to the conclusion I was trying to steal your ‘Bassy’?”

“I am Grell Sutcliffe! The most fabulous re-ahhh-human there is!”

What was that? Never heard of a ‘re-ahhh’ before.

“And I know about you, my dear, from my weekly visit to the Phantomhive Manor. My poor, POOR Bassy. He looked so tired… So strained… So annoyed… He kept muttering about some “thief girl from the marketplace” and how she “stole my prized pocket watch.””

You chuckled darkly, stroking the “prized pocket watch” that was still in your pocket.

“I see… So what happened then?”

“I asked him for the full story of course. I squeezed out every little detail. It wasn’t easy I’ll have you know. Bassy can be very tight lipped.”

“And you casually decided to find me then kill me?”

“Yes!”

This guy’s a loon. One hell of a loon. Though I do like his fashion sense.

“I know!”

“What now? I really must be going.” You attempted to walk past him.

“You’re not going anywhere!” He brandished the safety scissors at you.

“That’s REAL threatening y’know. I’m shaking in my stolen boots.” You scoffed.

“Very funny. I hate these things too. But I’ll be needing you for a little while longer.”

“Well I’m simply DYING to know why-”

Grell charged at you, throwing you over one shoulder and leaping into the sky.

“WHAT THE HELL?! THIS ISNT POSSIBLE! NOBODY CAN JUMP THIS HIGH! WHAT IN GOD’S NAME ARE YOU?!”

“I thought you were unconscious.” Grell mused. “Never mind. Now be quiet dear or you’ll wake up everybody in London.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Grell touched down in front of a huge mansion.

“Have we stopped moving?” You had a hand over your mouth.

“Yes.”

“Can you put me down?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see.”

“I’m going to be sick…”

“DON’T YOU DARE BE SICK ALL OVER MY BRAND NEW RED JACKET!”

“My my… Isn’t this quite a surprise…” A familiar voice entered the scene. “Seems to me we’ll be having a new Phantomhive maid after all.”

You looked up to see the butler smirking down at you.

“If you dare make me a maid then this will mean war.” You growled.

He chuckled. “Then war it is Miss Thief.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~~~~Extended Ending: ~~~~

“May I have my pocket watch back now Miss Thief?”

“You can stick it up your arse.”