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SKY-Lia — A dream which come true...
#bd #comic #batim #old_time #henry #bendyandtheinkmachine #joeydrew #henry_batim #joey_drew_batim #henry_bendy_and_the_ink_machine
Published: 2017-06-01 22:02:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 3083; Favourites: 69; Downloads: 2
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PART 2 sky-lia.deviantart.com/art/A-d…EDIT :
~ Traduction française ~
Joey : Bonjour !
Henry: Salut Joey
Joey: Toujours en train de travailler sur ce cartoon ?
Henry: Oui
Joey: ...Hey Henry
Henry: Hum ?
Joey: Quelques fois, il m'arrive de penser à un truc de fou !
Henry: Comme quoi ?
Joey: Du genre. On peut donner vie à notre petit Bendy !
Henry: Wow ! Vraiment ? Et comment, par magie ? Avec un rituel magique ??
Joey: OUI ! C'est exactement à quoi je pensais ! Pour être précis, à un rituel satanique !
Henry: Prrr...HAHAHAHAHAHA
Joey: Henry, ce n'est pas une blague
Henry: Oh désolé, je croyais, ha ha ha
Joey: Tu ne me prends au sérieux
Henry: Aaaaw, vas-y. Je pene que tu as besoin d'aller dormir
Joey: Quoi ? Non ! Je vais parfaitement bien !
Henry: Bien sûr !
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Comments: 20
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Joey stop tryna make our badass grampa into a cultist boi xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
"Ham fisted" ? Sorry, I don't understand > <
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Goofy, silly sounding. Slightly awkward, not very believable.
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
Oh, okay ! °3°' So, it's all the dialogue ?
Can you tell me how I can improve this ? (or which sentences should I change ?)
I rarely made comic, then I'm not very strong for the dialogues (or litterally, scenario)
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
Well, you have a great sense of timing with the comic. Mostly, you should just make it a little less direct, be more subtle, and expand on a few parts. Like here's a rewritten version of this page, as an example.
J: Hey Henry, working away at that cartoon?
H: You know it.
*pause*
J: Henry...sometimes I get to thinking....
H: Oh yeah? About what?
J:Like...like maybe we could give life to our little Bendy?
H: Ha, really? Like what, sprinkle a little magic fairy dust on him? Make him pop right out of this paper?
J: No, that's ridiculous. I'm talking about something more practical. Something from...down below.
*pause*
H: pfft...hahaha! A deal with the devil kind of thing? Ahhaha, you crack me up Joey.
J: I'm being serious Henry!
H: Yeah, maybe you need to get some sleep, buddy.
J: What? No, I'm perfectly fine....
Just some thoughts.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Wow ! It's a very good remark ! It's true that I'm too direct sometimes, I'm not a literary person, so I write in a simple and direct style (I'm clumsy to make complex sentences, ha ha, in french and english).
And, I like your rewritten, it's more natural ! 
Anyway, thank you to take time to rewrite the dialogue and for your critic/advice 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Magnifique Bd!
Je me demande ce qui ce passe ensuite...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh boy! This looks promising!
Would you mind if this got dubbed? I'll be sure to give you credit.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh sure ! You can ! It would be awesome ! QwQ
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Done!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfdXsV…
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Don't you mind if I share your video on my tumblr and twitter ? (giving you credit for the awesome dub of course !
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Of course! I have both of those, but I never use them, so give me a link when you do.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Done !
Tumblr : sky-lia.tumblr.com/post/161443…
Twitter : twitter.com/SKYLia_Art/status/…
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Oh my goood !! This is so cool !!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0