Comments: 19
SRSmith In reply to levi88 [2007-07-16 03:18:33 +0000 UTC]
Thanks - I'm glad you liked this. It was a fun idea that I enjoyed committing to words.
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exquisiteoath [2006-11-08 14:32:09 +0000 UTC]
There are some points where I can see you pulling stuff out.... extra words here and the there, the whole bit with the gorillas attacking the ship itself....
but that being said, I enjoyed it thoroughly and it didn't fee long until you said that it was over.
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SRSmith In reply to exquisiteoath [2006-11-08 17:56:32 +0000 UTC]
Thank you - I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm getting less concerned about the length as I get more comfortable with the format, I just need to be sure I'm not including content that doesn't really need to be there. I'm sure I could have cut this down some more, but I got to a point where I liked the way it read and stopped there.
The gorillas weren't attacking - the ship was theirs, they just starting climbing all over it making repairs as soon as it touched down.
I appreciate your reading and commenting,
Cheers,
:Steve
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exquisiteoath In reply to SRSmith [2006-11-08 20:10:42 +0000 UTC]
That paragraph was rather unclear. I couldn't, for example, tell whether the hole was appearing or disapearing in the hull.
I see why the passage is important now, but I think it could use some work.
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SRSmith In reply to exquisiteoath [2006-11-08 23:19:53 +0000 UTC]
Ah - yes - I see what you mean. I've reworded that slightly, hopefully it's a little more clear.
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drRansom [2006-11-02 17:31:40 +0000 UTC]
Again, you do an excellent job. I'm very pleased with your work, as it has been known to inspire mine. Keep it up.
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