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sslyd3r — the subtleties of the day
Published: 2008-08-23 14:11:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 49; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description it played like a sequel
i did only my duty
the man cam e and i stopped him
he spoke with a calm and nonchalantly
he spoke like a snake, telling eve of the apple
his comfort unsettle me as he spoke of his next move
we collided and i dropped to the ground with he
i drove a knob in his side, and i watched
as he saw his own death falll
i called my  brother
the man still struggling in pain
i pressed the barrel into his chest
his color changing from red to pale now
his eyes almost bled
*click*
i guess that one was a dud
*bang*
that one wasn't
my passion drove through him tearing apart everything external
that night, my father and i discussed the subtleties of the day
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Comments: 2

past-the-lies [2008-08-23 17:08:00 +0000 UTC]

I get most of my writing ideas from dreams. I can see the way you captured the emotion of the situation, limiting the description of the man, yourself and father to little or none at all. Emotion plays a big part in writing and I think it trumps the physical details.

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sslyd3r In reply to past-the-lies [2008-08-23 18:53:09 +0000 UTC]

thanks that made me smile, it was such a weird feeling to awake from that dream

👍: 0 ⏩: 0