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StapledSlut — Not A Whale - A Brief Poem

Published: 2011-03-26 06:23:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 4260; Favourites: 182; Downloads: 49
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Description Ode to Not-Whales

OH let me count the ways you are not a whale
Unless you happen to posses one
For you are a shadow creature
And one with a fine ass at that
You do not swim, for you probably don't have fins
You also happen to have no legs
But not in the same way that whales don't have legs
LET ME ASSURE YOU
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Comments: 30

SacredlyMythic [2018-09-23 21:28:07 +0000 UTC]

I NEED THE CONTEXT

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

WoodLily [2012-11-23 23:44:58 +0000 UTC]

Nice poem!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Zdou [2011-06-01 22:00:29 +0000 UTC]

Ohgod

I think I love you for this

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Marshmellow334 [2011-04-04 04:35:15 +0000 UTC]

WIN!!!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Shotgunfriday [2011-03-28 01:13:47 +0000 UTC]

I laughed like a stoned hyena.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Hiemsoshi [2011-03-26 18:15:23 +0000 UTC]

but
but i dont understand
bitches lovve wwhales

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Shotgunfriday In reply to Hiemsoshi [2011-04-11 00:57:21 +0000 UTC]

I love you for this.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Hiemsoshi In reply to Shotgunfriday [2011-04-11 06:46:22 +0000 UTC]

AWWWW YEEEEEEEE

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

PB-ZeppelinFan [2011-03-26 17:05:26 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Hiemsoshi [2011-03-26 07:46:32 +0000 UTC]

Hello stapledslut. I wanted to tell you that her oc, in her original picture, is not killing a whale. The creature is called a shadow creature, here is a picture of it [link]

the person who thought it was a whale was looking at it from the wrong angle. The front half was on the right, while the left was the butt...so its easily mistaken for a whale.

I hope you understand.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Dinorenk In reply to Hiemsoshi [2011-03-26 09:37:05 +0000 UTC]

You are late, somehow.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Hiemsoshi In reply to Dinorenk [2011-03-26 18:13:52 +0000 UTC]

Hello Dinorenk!
I'd thought I'd kindly let you know that Glacia is not killing a whale in the original picture. The creature is called a shadow creature and it really looks like this [link]


the person who thought that it was a whale was mistaken and looked at the creature's backside and thought it was a whale.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

SexyStrife In reply to Hiemsoshi [2011-03-26 18:43:01 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Zoom-A-Lark [2011-03-26 07:37:36 +0000 UTC]

OH GOD THAT FACE IS AMAZING. POEM = LITERARY GENIUS. IT-IT NEEDS TO BE PLACED NEXT TO SHAKESPEARE AND DICKENS. *MANLY TEARS ARE SHED*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

nybird [2011-03-26 07:15:55 +0000 UTC]

This is such a heartfelt piece, and the literature accompanies this fine piece of artwork so amazingly well.
It brought many a tear to mine eyes.
My poor, poor eyes.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Skaramine [2011-03-26 06:52:39 +0000 UTC]

Angry old-lady face rules.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Skaramine [2011-03-26 06:52:20 +0000 UTC]

I'm laughing so hard, I'm hiccuping!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

qug [2011-03-26 06:43:06 +0000 UTC]

not a whale

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Goddess-Ace [2011-03-26 06:39:03 +0000 UTC]

We have the next winner for the Nobel Prize in Literature.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

StapledSlut In reply to Goddess-Ace [2011-03-26 06:42:01 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

GalacticGoat [2011-03-26 06:32:35 +0000 UTC]

This is a thing of beautiful :,D what a wonderful face you have.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Hibikitikibi [2011-03-26 06:30:20 +0000 UTC]

I think this should become a meme... somehow?

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

SwirlyNebula In reply to Hibikitikibi [2011-09-02 03:03:46 +0000 UTC]

Now on, if someone asks me what something is, I'm Gonna say It's not a whale in a deep, dramatic, monotonus voice.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

StapledSlut In reply to Hibikitikibi [2011-03-26 06:31:15 +0000 UTC]

I don't care what it is, as long as no one calls it a whale

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

EvisceratedUnicorn [2011-03-26 06:28:31 +0000 UTC]

Win.

That poem should be inserted into a book.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kyphoscoliosis In reply to EvisceratedUnicorn [2011-03-28 04:13:58 +0000 UTC]

Or the whale-artist's anus.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Wastelandbimbo [2011-03-26 06:27:15 +0000 UTC]

IT'S NOT A WHALE D:<

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheIncredibleHibby [2011-03-26 06:25:10 +0000 UTC]

This...is the most beautiful piece of literature I have EVER seen...

Edgar Allan Poe could never have hoped to be this good.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

AccursEdd-Animator In reply to TheIncredibleHibby [2011-04-21 08:43:08 +0000 UTC]

I AGREE WITH THIS PERSON I KNOW. RIGHT HERE. OH YES.

AND WHAT IS A CANADA? NOT A WHALE I PRESUME.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Squeebone In reply to TheIncredibleHibby [2011-03-26 17:50:04 +0000 UTC]

I agree with this.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0