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Description
Infernal spiral.

0:15 am. In the kitchen, the faucet let out some drops of water which echoed in a metallic sound at the end of their fall. On the little table made of wooden laid a plate which content, a dish prepared with attention, had had time to cool since the dinner. The lodger of the appartment had also omitted to switch off the light of the room, throwing its pale light on the walls too white. Outside, the wind was whirling the trees leaves which have become yellow or orange recently. The light breeze made them dance the highest it could, until set them down on a balcony if the mood took it. But nobody looked at the show it gave. Not even the person present in the flat where the only source of light came from the kitchen. The young man was sitting on his black leather couch, legs pulled back against his torso and stared sadly, but without much interest, the scarlet ashtray placed on the glass coffee table in front of him, filled with corpses of cigarettes. How long had he not lit one of those sickly sweet ? An hour, maybe two. But now, his packet was empty. As empty as him at that moment. The young man had hoped to spend this evening in the warm, settled between the arms of his boyfriend, on the couch watching a program the most commonplace. From the moment he was with his boyfriend, the rest was of little importance to him. Moreover, this last had to leave the appartment in a hurry a few hours earlier, but had promised to the young man that he would be back for dinner. And since, he waited for him. And the more he waited, the more his smile faded, making little by little the way for tears. Yet, this was not the first time he promised something without ever keep his promise. So he had dinner alone, throwing occasionally a few glances at the clock lying above the door, before throwing almost all of his plate in the trash, tears streaming down his cheeks. He then sat down on the couch in the lounge and had lit his first cigarette of the evening, waiting for the unhoped return of his companion.

His tears had dried up over the hours while the answer to the question "Where did he pass ?" became more and more obvious to him. He knew where his boyfriend was or rather to whom he was. And that hurted him horribly. Because he had promised to him to not do it again. Because he had promised him to not see him again. Because he had promised him to never hurt him again. Promises, promises, and more promises. And why had he believed him ? His promises were just words. Why did he have to believe in words ? To give them form, an intensity. In what did all this rhymed ? Nothing. He was naive, he believed in his fine words, he believed in his apologies and his promises. He loved her. He loved her and he hoped that every night after that his boyfriend spent the night away from home, he would come back, he was going to stop this masquerade and stay with him. And this evening again, he waited for him. He could very well wait all night just to hope to see in his return a brightness of regret in his hazel eyes. Regrets instead of this boredom that scared him. And if he left him ? What would he become ? He knew nothing about it, and to have no answers to these questions made him shudder. The young man still remembered very well the first night he has spent to wait for him. His boyfriend had left the flat, without even warning him and had returned only the following morning very early. He, had tried to contact him on his mobile all the night, making hundred steps every time he fell on his messaging, at the same time he felt this ball of anxiety grow more and more. He had not closed his eyes all the night and in his return, which he had tried to make as quietly as possible, he had thrown immediately himself in the neck. He, he had apologized and claimed he was at his sister's for an emergency and that if he had not managed to contact him, it was only because he had no battery. And him ? He had believed it. As a child believes when we promise him the greatest toy or the biggest piece of cake. And since, he took advantage his naivety whenever he had the opportunity.

2:30 am. The sound of the door that opens, attracts his attention. He's back. The young man heard him remove his shoes and jacket and then put them in the closet planned for this purpose without any discretion, throw the keys of the appartment on the small furniture at the entrance and enter their room, closing the door behind him. Then nothing. He had not noticed his presence in the lounge and his absence in their room did not seem to affect him more than that. But anyway, the young man was accustomed. When his boyfriend came back from his nightlife, he joined quietly their room, as if nothing had happened, he lenghtened back to his young lover and let him cry silently, without ever turn round once to console him. And now, this lover flouted and destroyed waited. He waited for him to rejoin him, that he apologizes, that he would put everything in order and that he would not make to him anymore the slightest harm. He was surely going to spend the rest of the night on the couch, in the cold, but he would continue to wait for him, eyes wide open and a head full of hope. Ten minutes passed, maybe more, he did not know, when he heard their room's door open again, and steps get closer to him in a tired and bored way. His lover, simply dressed in underwears despite the coolness of autumn, knelt down in front of him and putting his hands on his ankles, he relaxed his legs of his half torn who was passive as a simple puppet. His hands settled then on his thighs and stroked them slowly while trying to get the gaze of the other man. This latter felt his hands trembling, of fear or of anger, while he forced himself not to tear off this irritated air on his sweet face.

"Kai, come to bed. Please." He said to him while maintaining his face in front of his.

"No..."

"Listen, I'm sorry not to have been back home earlier like I promised you but I had to help Sayuri. You know she has problems right now with her husband. I couldn't leave my sister alone."

"And I should trust you ?" He asked him, feeling sobs in his voice.

"Have I lied to you only once ?"

"Stop it... You lie like you breathe... You only know to do that !"

"Kai, I love you and you know it. Why should I amused myself lying to you constantly ?"

The slap went off by itself. Kai still trembled while tears of rage ran down his cheeks. And behind this curtain of tears, he could clearly distinguish the red mark left by his slap on the cheek of his lover. It was the first time he dared lay a hand on him and he was in no way frightened by the reverberations of his action. His lover handed in place a few locks of his golden hairs before bringing his gaze again on him. He tried to open his mouth to say something to his boyfriend in tears but he dealt him another slap, and he hit him again every time the oldest man wanted to talk to him. This little game went on for a some time, until the blond takes between his hands Kai's wrists and maintains him against the couch back. And settled on the thighs of his beloved, he had no trouble to master him while he began to struggle by feeling his wrists taking prisoner by the blond's fingers.

"Calm down. You're hurting yourself, my angel" He whispered in his ear.

"Don't call me like that..."

"Why ? It has never been a problem for you."

"Don't call me like that while you carry his smell !"

And then there was silence, a silence only broken by Kai's sobs. Neither of the two men dared to utter a single word after that. Kai had finally hide his face in his hands which his lover had released at the sight of tears ravaging the young man's face, and continued to pour countless tears. He was exhausted, he could not bear anymore to hear him lie to him. And it hurts him to see how easily he was able to play with him. The man in front of him did not make the least movement but contented himself with watch him pour his suffering, without any expression on his face. After a few moments during which he was delighted of such a vision, he asked him just as if he had asked him to pass the salt, why he was crying, a sneer on the lips. Kai's tears doubled intensity before that his lover takes him in his arms against him, stroking his back and kissing the top of his head some times. He rocked him gently, imagining that it would calm him down but found that Kai's pain did not soothe.

"Calm down Kai, I beg you."

"I cannot..."

"You can do it ! Calm down and give me a smile." He said, by stretching his trembling lips slightly.

"I told you I could not Uruha !"

"You can. Do it for me sweetie."

"No..."

"Kai, I ask you a smile. Just a smile." The blond said before biting his lower lip.

"Stop it..."

But he did not stop to browse his jaw with his lips, nor even his hands caressing his hips and his belly under his pullover, despite of his many supplications. He tried several time to push him away but stuck between the couch and Uruha's body, weakened by his tears, Kai had no chance to get out of this forced embrace. He was thus passive, as usual, giving the scope for his lover to take completely advantage of him. Uruha wiped the last tears that still flowed down Kai's cheeks with his thumbs before moving a hand to his neck and to move the brown man closer to him, the other hand went to his crotch and soon he assigned it gentle caresses through the pants of the youngest. Then, Uruha brushed against the trembling lips of Kai with his own, taking his time before sealing them, knowing that Kai was eager for his kisses. He enjoyed himself for a few moments to tempt the brown man before finally put his lips on Kai's ones, then leaving his neck and his soft caresses, he began to undo the pants of the youngest. He removed slowly the belt and laid it beside him before ridding his young lover of his pants, lingering at some times on his thighs. Leaving Kai's mouth, he fixed firmly his hazel eyes into his and gave him his haughty gaze, the one he always wore in such moments, before passing the young man's legs around his waist. Kais, hands clenched on the shoulders of the blond, looked him with eyes filled with tears while the blond had taken possession of his tender mouth. After a short moment, he felt his pullover leaving him, and chills through his body due to the cool of the room and Uruha's hands which roamed his body then his wrists. He noticed then that he had just tie his wrists with his own belt and that the last clothe he wore had left him. He felt his lips teasing his neck, his left collarbone, his shoulder, and his hands catch his hips firmly but without brutality. The in and out movements began gently and then followed, while Uruha did not give the slightest glance at his lover. Lover who still hoped that he would change, because he felt a certain sincerity through his caresses and his kisses. Unless he had deluded himself ? But nevertheless, he heard him moan his name. It was like a melody that echoed against each wall. It made as "Kai... Kai... Kai...!". And this melody, he liked it. Because it gave him the illusion that he is still important in the eyes of Uruha, that he loved him as much as he said. But unfortunately, there was still the smell of this other man between them which reminded him the sad truth. And after, what would he do ? Would he lie to him again ? Would he stay with him ? For the moment, he wanted to believe in this melody, despite this scent. Believe in this melody and his own which escaped from his lips and died in Uruha's throat.

The heavy breathing of the blond reached his ears with gentleness and accompanied by a few kisses the same time as he freed Kai's wrists. Kai immediately passed his arms around the blonde's body and moved him closer to him, wanting to keep him jealously for himself. He clasped him hard against him, as hard as he could even after the act. And then he heard him whisper to him his promises, with it seemed a pretense of love. He promised he would stay with him, that there was only he he loved, that he would never do it again. He had made enough mistakes, Uruha was finally going to redeem himself. Kai believed him, as always. He seemed so sincere that he believed it. Only, a few days had passed, and one night, Kai dined alone again.

Description
Infernal spiral.

0:15 am. In the kitchen, the faucet let out some drops of water which echoed in a metallic sound at the end of their fall. On the little table made of wooden laid a plate which content, a dish prepared with attention, had had time to cool since the dinner. The lodger of the appartment had also omitted to switch off the light of the room, throwing its pale light on the walls too white. Outside, the wind was whirling the trees leaves which have become yellow or orange recently. The light breeze made them dance the highest it could, until set them down on a balcony if the mood took it. But nobody looked at the show it gave. Not even the person present in the flat where the only source of light came from the kitchen. The young man was sitting on his black leather couch, legs pulled back against his torso and stared sadly, but without much interest, the scarlet ashtray placed on the glass coffee table in front of him, filled with corpses of cigarettes. How long had he not lit one of those sickly sweet ? An hour, maybe two. But now, his packet was empty. As empty as him at that moment. The young man had hoped to spend this evening in the warm, settled between the arms of his boyfriend, on the couch watching a program the most commonplace. From the moment he was with his boyfriend, the rest was of little importance to him. Moreover, this last had to leave the appartment in a hurry a few hours earlier, but had promised to the young man that he would be back for dinner. And since, he waited for him. And the more he waited, the more his smile faded, making little by little the way for tears. Yet, this was not the first time he promised something without ever keep his promise. So he had dinner alone, throwing occasionally a few glances at the clock lying above the door, before throwing almost all of his plate in the trash, tears streaming down his cheeks. He then sat down on the couch in the lounge and had lit his first cigarette of the evening, waiting for the unhoped return of his companion.

His tears had dried up over the hours while the answer to the question "Where did he pass ?" became more and more obvious to him. He knew where his boyfriend was or rather to whom he was. And that hurted him horribly. Because he had promised to him to not do it again. Because he had promised him to not see him again. Because he had promised him to never hurt him again. Promises, promises, and more promises. And why had he believed him ? His promises were just words. Why did he have to believe in words ? To give them form, an intensity. In what did all this rhymed ? Nothing. He was naive, he believed in his fine words, he believed in his apologies and his promises. He loved her. He loved her and he hoped that every night after that his boyfriend spent the night away from home, he would come back, he was going to stop this masquerade and stay with him. And this evening again, he waited for him. He could very well wait all night just to hope to see in his return a brightness of regret in his hazel eyes. Regrets instead of this boredom that scared him. And if he left him ? What would he become ? He knew nothing about it, and to have no answers to these questions made him shudder. The young man still remembered very well the first night he has spent to wait for him. His boyfriend had left the flat, without even warning him and had returned only the following morning very early. He, had tried to contact him on his mobile all the night, making hundred steps every time he fell on his messaging, at the same time he felt this ball of anxiety grow more and more. He had not closed his eyes all the night and in his return, which he had tried to make as quietly as possible, he had thrown immediately himself in the neck. He, he had apologized and claimed he was at his sister's for an emergency and that if he had not managed to contact him, it was only because he had no battery. And him ? He had believed it. As a child believes when we promise him the greatest toy or the biggest piece of cake. And since, he took advantage his naivety whenever he had the opportunity.

2:30 am. The sound of the door that opens, attracts his attention. He's back. The young man heard him remove his shoes and jacket and then put them in the closet planned for this purpose without any discretion, throw the keys of the appartment on the small furniture at the entrance and enter their room, closing the door behind him. Then nothing. He had not noticed his presence in the lounge and his absence in their room did not seem to affect him more than that. But anyway, the young man was accustomed. When his boyfriend came back from his nightlife, he joined quietly their room, as if nothing had happened, he lenghtened back to his young lover and let him cry silently, without ever turn round once to console him. And now, this lover flouted and destroyed waited. He waited for him to rejoin him, that he apologizes, that he would put everything in order and that he would not make to him anymore the slightest harm. He was surely going to spend the rest of the night on the couch, in the cold, but he would continue to wait for him, eyes wide open and a head full of hope. Ten minutes passed, maybe more, he did not know, when he heard their room's door open again, and steps get closer to him in a tired and bored way. His lover, simply dressed in underwears despite the coolness of autumn, knelt down in front of him and putting his hands on his ankles, he relaxed his legs of his half torn who was passive as a simple puppet. His hands settled then on his thighs and stroked them slowly while trying to get the gaze of the other man. This latter felt his hands trembling, of fear or of anger, while he forced himself not to tear off this irritated air on his sweet face.

"Kai, come to bed. Please." He said to him while maintaining his face in front of his.

"No..."

"Listen, I'm sorry not to have been back home earlier like I promised you but I had to help Sayuri. You know she has problems right now with her husband. I couldn't leave my sister alone."

"And I should trust you ?" He asked him, feeling sobs in his voice.

"Have I lied to you only once ?"

"Stop it... You lie like you breathe... You only know to do that !"

"Kai, I love you and you know it. Why should I amused myself lying to you constantly ?"

The slap went off by itself. Kai still trembled while tears of rage ran down his cheeks. And behind this curtain of tears, he could clearly distinguish the red mark left by his slap on the cheek of his lover. It was the first time he dared lay a hand on him and he was in no way frightened by the reverberations of his action. His lover handed in place a few locks of his golden hairs before bringing his gaze again on him. He tried to open his mouth to say something to his boyfriend in tears but he dealt him another slap, and he hit him again every time the oldest man wanted to talk to him. This little game went on for a some time, until the blond takes between his hands Kai's wrists and maintains him against the couch back. And settled on the thighs of his beloved, he had no trouble to master him while he began to struggle by feeling his wrists taking prisoner by the blond's fingers.

"Calm down. You're hurting yourself, my angel" He whispered in his ear.

"Don't call me like that..."

"Why ? It has never been a problem for you."

"Don't call me like that while you carry his smell !"

And then there was silence, a silence only broken by Kai's sobs. Neither of the two men dared to utter a single word after that. Kai had finally hide his face in his hands which his lover had released at the sight of tears ravaging the young man's face, and continued to pour countless tears. He was exhausted, he could not bear anymore to hear him lie to him. And it hurts him to see how easily he was able to play with him. The man in front of him did not make the least movement but contented himself with watch him pour his suffering, without any expression on his face. After a few moments during which he was delighted of such a vision, he asked him just as if he had asked him to pass the salt, why he was crying, a sneer on the lips. Kai's tears doubled intensity before that his lover takes him in his arms against him, stroking his back and kissing the top of his head some times. He rocked him gently, imagining that it would calm him down but found that Kai's pain did not soothe.

"Calm down Kai, I beg you."

"I cannot..."

"You can do it ! Calm down and give me a smile." He said, by stretching his trembling lips slightly.

"I told you I could not Uruha !"

"You can. Do it for me sweetie."

"No..."

"Kai, I ask you a smile. Just a smile." The blond said before biting his lower lip.

"Stop it..."

But he did not stop to browse his jaw with his lips, nor even his hands caressing his hips and his belly under his pullover, despite of his many supplications. He tried several time to push him away but stuck between the couch and Uruha's body, weakened by his tears, Kai had no chance to get out of this forced embrace. He was thus passive, as usual, giving the scope for his lover to take completely advantage of him. Uruha wiped the last tears that still flowed down Kai's cheeks with his thumbs before moving a hand to his neck and to move the brown man closer to him, the other hand went to his crotch and soon he assigned it gentle caresses through the pants of the youngest. Then, Uruha brushed against the trembling lips of Kai with his own, taking his time before sealing them, knowing that Kai was eager for his kisses. He enjoyed himself for a few moments to tempt the brown man before finally put his lips on Kai's ones, then leaving his neck and his soft caresses, he began to undo the pants of the youngest. He removed slowly the belt and laid it beside him before ridding his young lover of his pants, lingering at some times on his thighs. Leaving Kai's mouth, he fixed firmly his hazel eyes into his and gave him his haughty gaze, the one he always wore in such moments, before passing the young man's legs around his waist. Kais, hands clenched on the shoulders of the blond, looked him with eyes filled with tears while the blond had taken possession of his tender mouth. After a short moment, he felt his pullover leaving him, and chills through his body due to the cool of the room and Uruha's hands which roamed his body then his wrists. He noticed then that he had just tie his wrists with his own belt and that the last clothe he wore had left him. He felt his lips teasing his neck, his left collarbone, his shoulder, and his hands catch his hips firmly but without brutality. The in and out movements began gently and then followed, while Uruha did not give the slightest glance at his lover. Lover who still hoped that he would change, because he felt a certain sincerity through his caresses and his kisses. Unless he had deluded himself ? But nevertheless, he heard him moan his name. It was like a melody that echoed against each wall. It made as "Kai... Kai... Kai...!". And this melody, he liked it. Because it gave him the illusion that he is still important in the eyes of Uruha, that he loved him as much as he said. But unfortunately, there was still the smell of this other man between them which reminded him the sad truth. And after, what would he do ? Would he lie to him again ? Would he stay with him ? For the moment, he wanted to believe in this melody, despite this scent. Believe in this melody and his own which escaped from his lips and died in Uruha's throat.

The heavy breathing of the blond reached his ears with gentleness and accompanied by a few kisses the same time as he freed Kai's wrists. Kai immediately passed his arms around the blonde's body and moved him closer to him, wanting to keep him jealously for himself. He clasped him hard against him, as hard as he could even after the act. And then he heard him whisper to him his promises, with it seemed a pretense of love. He promised he would stay with him, that there was only he he loved, that he would never do it again. He had made enough mistakes, Uruha was finally going to redeem himself. Kai believed him, as always. He seemed so sincere that he believed it. Only, a few days had passed, and one night, Kai dined alone again.