HOME | DD

Description
1. The night you left I changed my sheets,
in some effort to remove you
from the place where I sleep,
but I cried into the dirty pillow case
like I could mingle us
through our remaining molecules.
You still seeped into my dreams
for three hours
until I had to get up.

You asked,
Why did I never meet your parents?
And I told you I never thought
you'd want to see the tangled
roots
that I keep shooting into the earth,
trying to find a clump of dirt
to stick in.
So you sighed while my eyes swelled
and told me that I was loved.

I thought, "Habibi" and "Sister"
"teacher," "Gifted"
and "Beautiful" and how I cherish those words
but that I wanted your mouth.

I thought, love is a soap bubble
that I keep trying to catch with my sandpaper hands
when even my eyelashes are too harsh.
Burst.

2. I loved you the minute I met you,
more on election night
when I gave you a stamp to send in your thoughts
and I wondered what you wondered about.
I loved you when you danced for me
bare footed with your roommate,
at once suave and fumbling like a child.
I loved you when you showed up drunk
and told me about your guilt and insecurity,
and we ran through the fog
from the zombies.

I loved the divets in your hips
and the way you steal the blankets at night,
the way you look when you're thinking
and the way you look when you're not.

I loved you when you got into the car
and I shut my blinds so that I didn't have to see you leave.

I loved you this morning
on the other end of a promise to be your friend
because you can't commit to marking off
an advent calendar with me.
You were always allergic to chocolate
and I am always forgetting.

3. I have written you poems
on napkins and in journals,
typed into my iphone and scribbled down onto my hand.
I never showed you any of them.

When I ran into your roommate, the morning after the first time,
he told you I handled it gracefully.
I am still standing on that sidewalk,
but without an ounce of grace,
melting like chalk in the rain.

4. I wonder if the hope will kill me before the hurt.

Description
1. The night you left I changed my sheets,
in some effort to remove you
from the place where I sleep,
but I cried into the dirty pillow case
like I could mingle us
through our remaining molecules.
You still seeped into my dreams
for three hours
until I had to get up.

You asked,
Why did I never meet your parents?
And I told you I never thought
you'd want to see the tangled
roots
that I keep shooting into the earth,
trying to find a clump of dirt
to stick in.
So you sighed while my eyes swelled
and told me that I was loved.

I thought, "Habibi" and "Sister"
"teacher," "Gifted"
and "Beautiful" and how I cherish those words
but that I wanted your mouth.

I thought, love is a soap bubble
that I keep trying to catch with my sandpaper hands
when even my eyelashes are too harsh.
Burst.

2. I loved you the minute I met you,
more on election night
when I gave you a stamp to send in your thoughts
and I wondered what you wondered about.
I loved you when you danced for me
bare footed with your roommate,
at once suave and fumbling like a child.
I loved you when you showed up drunk
and told me about your guilt and insecurity,
and we ran through the fog
from the zombies.

I loved the divets in your hips
and the way you steal the blankets at night,
the way you look when you're thinking
and the way you look when you're not.

I loved you when you got into the car
and I shut my blinds so that I didn't have to see you leave.

I loved you this morning
on the other end of a promise to be your friend
because you can't commit to marking off
an advent calendar with me.
You were always allergic to chocolate
and I am always forgetting.

3. I have written you poems
on napkins and in journals,
typed into my iphone and scribbled down onto my hand.
I never showed you any of them.

When I ran into your roommate, the morning after the first time,
he told you I handled it gracefully.
I am still standing on that sidewalk,
but without an ounce of grace,
melting like chalk in the rain.

4. I wonder if the hope will kill me before the hurt.