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StaticAirwaves In reply to polishedpieceofdirt [2017-12-07 00:39:10 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha that's what people close to me call me [they also call me Acehole]. So, same here. With me, it's reversed though. I try being nice and helpful but come across as an asshole ;;

Teach me to be nice lmao. I'm gonna need it when I'm a clinical psychologist...

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polishedpieceofdirt In reply to StaticAirwaves [2017-12-07 13:59:33 +0000 UTC]

Aww... yeah,i feel you. Hah whenever i catch myself being judgy or bitchy i'm just like 'self,i did not raise you to be this way. shame on you'. idk it kinda helps.

Heh... honestly,I'm mostly scared of alienating people,and I really,really,REALLY do not like confrontation because i don't handle it well at all,so I typically end up coming across as being super sweet and nice to everyone. I compliment people a lot,i used to do it to nearly everyone I saw,even if i didn't really mean it,simply because i was desperate to make friends. That's another thing,is i WANT people to like me. I want friends,and being a bitch to them is not the way to go about it.
I couldn't really give you much teaching, except maybe if you're not sure about something you want to say,just don't say it,it's better to be safe than accidentally offensive/hurtful because it's really hard to backpedal. And even though it sounds cliched,look people in the eyes when they're talking,because it shows them that you're listeningand they might have pretty eyes that you want to remember because they make good art references hhhhng i swear i'm an artist not a pervert im staring at you FOR ARTISTIC PURPOSES ONLY

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StaticAirwaves In reply to polishedpieceofdirt [2017-12-07 20:06:54 +0000 UTC]

Lol but the thing is, I don't even consider myself being judgy. I've started to bite my tongue a bit more, though, because I don't like having to deal with confrontation either. It's annoying... ughh another thing is that I avoid small talk. I don't consider this to be rude; I consider it saving both of us the time and energy. I.e., you don't have to talk to me and I'm comfortable with silence/being alone. However, people find this rude. I still don't understand why... do you?

I understand where you're coming from. It seems like you have to be sweet as hell to people before you can be more truthful. Well, that's what I think you meant anyway? In all honesty, I don't understand people. I don't think you should feel the need to be kind out of fear of alienating people, but I understand you have your reasons for doing so. You want friends, and you're right, people like kindness. You're doing the right thing in that case.

Hahaha ohh the irony! Eyes are the first thing I notice about people, but that's because I really love eyes. That sounds creepy, but I agree that eyes are pretty. Anyways, I never thought it would have that effect on people? I didn't know people liked having eye contact that much. I've always been told that I have "shark eyes" (because my eyes are very dark brown) and that my gaze intimidates or creeps them out. I've literally made kids cry just by glancing at them-- no joke, and I'm not proud. Wtf am I doing wrong o-o

[Also, sorry for rambling. Idk how I got onto all of these subjects lmao.]

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polishedpieceofdirt In reply to StaticAirwaves [2017-12-09 12:16:56 +0000 UTC]

Hm. I guess... if they're the one who starts the small talk,and you don't want to talk,they take it as you turning them down/ignoring them. Because small talk is sort of a walk to start an actual,more worthwhile conversation,or determine if the other person isn't interested in that. It's just how humans have honed our communication patterns. It sounds less abrupt than going up to the coworker you've only seen twice and saying in a serious voice, 'Hey,wanna have a 3-hour-long conversation about our respective life problems and personal take on the rapidly crumbling economy?'. Small talk is kind of a way of building up to it.

Well,not necessarily. I mean,flattery won't get you anywhere. If you don't genuinely want to interact or be friendly,then there's no point in doing so,because people can tell that you aren't into it,and they'll probably be hurt or offended because you're pretending to enjoy it. And pretending is a form of lying. They feel like they're being lied to when you go 'Oh,I've had a great day. What about you?' and that little primal part of our subconscious that can read human expressions and the underlying moods behind inflections and small facial expressions starts to raise it's hackles and go, 'This person lied about having a good day,and they don't really care about how my day is. They don't want to interact anymore,but they're pretending they do. This person is a liar and probably can't be trusted.' This is obviously exaggerated,but that's sorta the gist of it.
Besides,there's a different between being nice and being kind. 'Nice' is more being polite,and politeness comes from the social expectations that have built up that prevent us from tearing each other's throats out when we get mad. 'Nice' is being helpful because you're expected to. 'Kind' is more genuine,and it come directly from one person,without it being an obligation. 'Kind' is more like,going out of your way to help an old lady cross the road,or complimenting someone's artwork because it's a cool painting and they look tired and underappreciated,or a grandparent foisting a third helping of food onto your plate despite your half-hearted protests,because 'you need to eat more' and they want you to be healthy because they care. That's kindness. It has a lot more meaning to it than just being nice.

Really?I Always make a point to notice someone's eyes. Hah me too XD Nah it's not creepy. We're artists. We're supposed to be the oddballs. Creepy comes in the starter kit. *shrugs* one of the things my mom taught me was to always look someone in the eyes when they're talking,because it shows that you're interested in what they're saying,and that you're paying full attention to them. Humans need attention,and it's flattering when we do receive it. Especially if that attention is full and undivided to the point that the person is looking directly into your eyes. Although there's a fine line between that and staring. Staring is definitely creepy. I guess..the more serious the conversation,the more eye contact is expected. Chatting with that coworker while getting coffee....probably don't stare at them like you're wondering how to hide their body. Listening to someone tell you all about a project they've been working on for years and are really passionate about? Probably devote a lot more attention to that.
Oh gosh...that kinda sucks. I guess it depends on your resting facial expression as well,not just eyes. Like,my cousin looks almost perpetually tired. Some people have an almost constant scowl. Then there's the resting bitch face obviously. The problem is it's hard to look in the mirror and totally relax your face to the point where you're making the exact facial expression you usually make,so it's hard to actually accurately see what you look like most of the time.

idk. this is all just my explanations,i'm sorry if i sound condescending or anything.

Haha that's okay,you're not rambling XD Lol I'm the one who started it though XD (kinda. i think...??? i dont even remember XD)

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polishedpieceofdirt In reply to polishedpieceofdirt [2017-12-02 13:04:00 +0000 UTC]

this is freaking amazing by the way

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StaticAirwaves In reply to darkground [2017-11-27 04:56:21 +0000 UTC]

Thank youuu so much dude. You're so kind :'D

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darkground In reply to StaticAirwaves [2017-11-27 06:19:27 +0000 UTC]

more then welcome hmmm  

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StaticAirwaves In reply to chaseawaythedark [2017-11-27 04:55:22 +0000 UTC]

Lmao yeah, but it's ironic because we're on social media :'^)
Thanks a ton!! 

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