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Description

          *KNOCK*

          *KNOCK*

          *KNOCK*

          *SCRAPE*

          It was the first house I had come to in town. I didn’t even know where I was. I was so tired from walking. And it was so late at night, or maybe it was just really early in the morning, I don’t even remember. There was no strength left in my entire body. I collapsed onto the welcome mat at the door and passed out.

          …

          By the time I woke up it was afternoon. I was no longer on the doormat, but now inside of what I could only assume was the same house. When my eyes fully adjusted, I shot up. I was lying on a red velvet settee, covered by a very warm and comfortable blanket.

          “I’m sure glad whoever lives here found me,” I thought out loud, “Celestia only knows what could have happened if I was out there all night.”

          “Oh splendid, you’re awake,” an angelic voice rang from the kitchen which was the next room over, “You had me quite worried.”

          “Well I appreciate the concern. I assume that it was your door I knocked on?”

          “Indeed,” she responded, still in the kitchen, “You were in ghastly shape so I pulled you in and made you as comfortable as I could. Now just wait there for one second, lunch is almost done.”

          Before she finished the sentence, an entire table set began floating toward me, enveloped in a blue glow, an obvious sign that my savior was a unicorn, just like me.

          Finally, she came into the living room, with two plates of food in tow. She had a pristine white coat topped with a bright purple wavy mane. Her tail was curled in a way that I didn’t even know was possible.

          “Thank you very much, Miss--…”

          “Rarity.”

          “Miss Rarity. Could you please tell me where I am?”

          “Certainly. You are in Ponyville.”

          “Ponyville,” I echoed, my head dropping and my eyes getting big, “I’ve walked all the way to Ponyville?”

          “Did you travel a long way? From where are you from? And it’s terribly rude to not introduce yourself to a lady.”

          “Of course. My name is Art. Art Colter.”

          Rarity almost choked on her tea, “Art Colter! The Art Colter! The famous author of everything is in my house!?”

          “There’s no reason to get your mane in a mess. I’m not great anymore.”

          “Well dear, you simply must tell me what happened,” Rarity continued as I tried to eat and not make too much eye contact, “Nopony walks from someplace to Ponyville without knowing where they are going.”

          I looked out the front window. I didn’t know how to answer.

          “It doesn’t matter, Miss Rarity. I got here in one piece and fortunately ran into a very sweet lady. So from now on, Ponyville is my home.”

          “Wait a moment,” Rarity said in realization, “I remember now. Didn’t you live in Fillydelphia? Yes, that was it.

          Rarity looked toward a stack of books on the floor and brought one over to her. It was one of mine, “The Complete Guide to Jewels and Gemstones.”

          “Indeed. It says right here ‘Published in Fillydelphia’. Fillydelphia is a very nice city. Why would you ever leave there?”

          “Suffice is to say it wasn’t my choice to leave. Fillydelphia is my hometown, I loved it there. Big city, but not like Manehattan big. It was perfect. The atmosphere was just right. I never could’ve published 30 books without that perfect atmosphere.”

          “Well I respect your decision to not tell me. But you’re a well-known figure. Once word gets out that you are here, everypony’s going to want to know the same thing.”

          I wiped my forehead with my napkin. My mind was racing so fast that I didn’t even use magic.

          “You’re absolutely right,” I sighed deeply, “It never should have happened. You see, I wrote a humor column for the Fillydelphia Daily News as just a little side thing, something to take my mind away from my professional writing. Just like my books, they covered all kinds of subjects, everything from how the Pegasus Ponies were killing me with their weather choices to funny things I saw on the street every day. But then I put my hoof in my mouth. I started talking about politics and how I really felt the mayor and city hall were working. I guess they didn’t like what I was writing. The threatened the editor, who asked me to stop. I told him to publish one more, and if the mayor gave him a hard time, that I would take the full brunt of it.”

          “I’m guessing the mayor doesn’t have a sense of humor.”

          “Think of the most humor-less pony you know and turn the funny meter down about ten notches. After my last column was published, he came to my house and told me that he didn’t appreciate how I was painting him. I told him I couldn’t care less what he thought. It was at this point that he threatened me with arrest if I didn’t leave town that very instant.”

          “Well that’s just absurd! What was he going to charge you with? Expressing your opinion?”

          “I don’t know, I didn’t ask. Five minutes later, I was gone, walking in no particular direction. My original plan was to go to Canterlot. I thought that maybe I could get an audience with the Princess. But I guess I got turned around or something, I don’t know. But by the time I knocked on your door this morning, I had been walking for five days. And, considering I only packed food for two, I’m pretty lucky to be alive.”

          “You want a meeting with the Princess? Well I can make that happen. I know the Princess personally and besides one of my best friends is her top protégé.”

          “You don’t know how glad I am to have knocked on your door.”

          …

          “Now don’t worry Mr. Colter,” Rarity said as we left her shop after lunch, “Twilight lives in the town library, which isn’t far from here.”

          “As long as we get there. And Rarity, I’ve already asked you ten times to please call me Art.”

          And so we strolled through the middle of Ponyville. I tried keeping my head down, doing my best to avoid being recognized. Even though I was new in town, I hoped that walking with Rarity would at the very least ease any concerns the other ponies may have had about strangers. Alas, this only held up for a short time.

          “Hiya Rarity, who’s your friend,” a pink-as-can-be pony exclaimed, popping up out of nowhere, “I’ve never seen him before, and I know everypony in Ponyville, so that must mean that he’s not from Ponyville, which means he’s new in Ponyville, which means that I have to meet him.”

          “Well Pinkie, this is a-a friend I met at a party in Canterlot,” Rarity lied, “He just got to Ponyville last night and I’m taking him to see the library.”

          “That’s no fun,” Pinkie said in what I could only assume was her only tone of voice, “Who wants to see some books when there’s a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party to go to instead. Besides, it’s not like the books are going anywhere.”

          “Really Pinkie Pie, we appreciate the offer, but we really don’t have time right now.”

          “Oh come on Rarity, you’re always so uptight. I know that you like a good party as much as anypony and you know that I throw a better party than anypony. So why wouldn’t you want to come to one of my special ‘Welcome-to-Ponyville-Meet-and-Greet’ parties?”

          “I’m sorry, but we really must be…”

          “Going to a party,” I interrupted, “Pinkie Pie is right. And I’m not in that much of a rush. Besides, nopony has ever been so kind as to offer to throw me a party before. It wouldn’t be very nice of me if I didn’t attend.”

          “That’s the spirit,” Pinkie cried, firing off a confetti-filled cannon that hadn’t been there a second ago, “Come on, we can have it at Sugarcube Corner.”

          Before I knew it, I was knee-deep in ponies, all of whom were having a grand old time.

          “I’m sure glad you don’t mind all this Mrs. Cake,” I said to the owner of the sweet shop.

          “Of course not, Mr. Colter. Pinkie is always putting on some party or other. We just like seeing everypony having a good time. Besides, I remember a couple of years ago, my friend in Fillydelphia would send me your food critic column, and it was always an enjoyable read.”

          “Heh, thank you,” I said, slightly embarrassed, “Didn’t think anypony remembered that column. I was just a poor writer back then after all.”

          “Well you’re not a poor writer now,” Pinkie interjected, eating a whole cupcake in one bite, “Now you’re just a writer who’s missing out on these awesome Carrot Cupcakes!”

          “I would be missing out if I didn’t eat any sweets,” I laughed.

          *CRASH*

          “Well how d’ya do, everypony!”

          I whipped around to see two mares at the door to the sweet shop. One was orange and wore a cowboy hat, the other, yellow with a flowing pink mane.

          “Applejack, Fluttershy, glad you finally made it. This is Art,” Pinkie exclaimed, motioning towards me, “he’s an old friend of Rarity’s.”

          “Pleased to meet ya,” Applejack said, shaking my hoof rather forcefully.

          “Um, he-hello,” Fluttershy said so quietly I could barely hear her.

          “Come now, Fluttershy, the man’s not gonna be able to hear ya if you’re all quiet-like.”

          “Oh, sorry. He-Hello” she said, obviously trying to increase the volume of her voice, but seemed to be unable to do so.

          “Glad to meet you both,” I said, “Wow, the ponies of Ponyville sure are friendly, aren’t they?”

          “Well duh,” Pinkie said, again popping up in front of me, “Ponies here are totally the most friendliest, most kindest, most awesomest ponies anywhere.”

          “Can’t say I’m used to this sort of atmosphere.”

          “Quit all the fancy talk,” Applejack said sarcastically, “What in tarnation does that even mean?”

          “Let’s just say that I have more hoofs than I have real friends.”

          You should have seen the look on Pinkie Pie’s face.

          “How…how is that even possible,” she stuttered, “I mean, you say you have more hoofs than friends, and you only have one, two, three, four hoofs. So you’re saying that you don’t have four friends!? That’s crazy! I don’t know what I would do with less than four friends. Well say no more. We’ll all be your friends from now on. And with me, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy, that at least doubles your number of friends. And then if you meet everypony at the party, you could double your double, then double your double again!”

          I smiled, “Thanks Pinkie, I needed that.”

          “Speaking of good friends,” Rarity quipped, “Where in Equestria is Twilight?”

Description

          *KNOCK*

          *KNOCK*

          *KNOCK*

          *SCRAPE*

          It was the first house I had come to in town. I didn’t even know where I was. I was so tired from walking. And it was so late at night, or maybe it was just really early in the morning, I don’t even remember. There was no strength left in my entire body. I collapsed onto the welcome mat at the door and passed out.

          …

          By the time I woke up it was afternoon. I was no longer on the doormat, but now inside of what I could only assume was the same house. When my eyes fully adjusted, I shot up. I was lying on a red velvet settee, covered by a very warm and comfortable blanket.

          “I’m sure glad whoever lives here found me,” I thought out loud, “Celestia only knows what could have happened if I was out there all night.”

          “Oh splendid, you’re awake,” an angelic voice rang from the kitchen which was the next room over, “You had me quite worried.”

          “Well I appreciate the concern. I assume that it was your door I knocked on?”

          “Indeed,” she responded, still in the kitchen, “You were in ghastly shape so I pulled you in and made you as comfortable as I could. Now just wait there for one second, lunch is almost done.”

          Before she finished the sentence, an entire table set began floating toward me, enveloped in a blue glow, an obvious sign that my savior was a unicorn, just like me.

          Finally, she came into the living room, with two plates of food in tow. She had a pristine white coat topped with a bright purple wavy mane. Her tail was curled in a way that I didn’t even know was possible.

          “Thank you very much, Miss--…”

          “Rarity.”

          “Miss Rarity. Could you please tell me where I am?”

          “Certainly. You are in Ponyville.”

          “Ponyville,” I echoed, my head dropping and my eyes getting big, “I’ve walked all the way to Ponyville?”

          “Did you travel a long way? From where are you from? And it’s terribly rude to not introduce yourself to a lady.”

          “Of course. My name is Art. Art Colter.”

          Rarity almost choked on her tea, “Art Colter! The Art Colter! The famous author of everything is in my house!?”

          “There’s no reason to get your mane in a mess. I’m not great anymore.”

          “Well dear, you simply must tell me what happened,” Rarity continued as I tried to eat and not make too much eye contact, “Nopony walks from someplace to Ponyville without knowing where they are going.”

          I looked out the front window. I didn’t know how to answer.

          “It doesn’t matter, Miss Rarity. I got here in one piece and fortunately ran into a very sweet lady. So from now on, Ponyville is my home.”

          “Wait a moment,” Rarity said in realization, “I remember now. Didn’t you live in Fillydelphia? Yes, that was it.

          Rarity looked toward a stack of books on the floor and brought one over to her. It was one of mine, “The Complete Guide to Jewels and Gemstones.”

          “Indeed. It says right here ‘Published in Fillydelphia’. Fillydelphia is a very nice city. Why would you ever leave there?”

          “Suffice is to say it wasn’t my choice to leave. Fillydelphia is my hometown, I loved it there. Big city, but not like Manehattan big. It was perfect. The atmosphere was just right. I never could’ve published 30 books without that perfect atmosphere.”

          “Well I respect your decision to not tell me. But you’re a well-known figure. Once word gets out that you are here, everypony’s going to want to know the same thing.”

          I wiped my forehead with my napkin. My mind was racing so fast that I didn’t even use magic.

          “You’re absolutely right,” I sighed deeply, “It never should have happened. You see, I wrote a humor column for the Fillydelphia Daily News as just a little side thing, something to take my mind away from my professional writing. Just like my books, they covered all kinds of subjects, everything from how the Pegasus Ponies were killing me with their weather choices to funny things I saw on the street every day. But then I put my hoof in my mouth. I started talking about politics and how I really felt the mayor and city hall were working. I guess they didn’t like what I was writing. The threatened the editor, who asked me to stop. I told him to publish one more, and if the mayor gave him a hard time, that I would take the full brunt of it.”

          “I’m guessing the mayor doesn’t have a sense of humor.”

          “Think of the most humor-less pony you know and turn the funny meter down about ten notches. After my last column was published, he came to my house and told me that he didn’t appreciate how I was painting him. I told him I couldn’t care less what he thought. It was at this point that he threatened me with arrest if I didn’t leave town that very instant.”

          “Well that’s just absurd! What was he going to charge you with? Expressing your opinion?”

          “I don’t know, I didn’t ask. Five minutes later, I was gone, walking in no particular direction. My original plan was to go to Canterlot. I thought that maybe I could get an audience with the Princess. But I guess I got turned around or something, I don’t know. But by the time I knocked on your door this morning, I had been walking for five days. And, considering I only packed food for two, I’m pretty lucky to be alive.”

          “You want a meeting with the Princess? Well I can make that happen. I know the Princess personally and besides one of my best friends is her top protégé.”

          “You don’t know how glad I am to have knocked on your door.”

          …

          “Now don’t worry Mr. Colter,” Rarity said as we left her shop after lunch, “Twilight lives in the town library, which isn’t far from here.”

          “As long as we get there. And Rarity, I’ve already asked you ten times to please call me Art.”

          And so we strolled through the middle of Ponyville. I tried keeping my head down, doing my best to avoid being recognized. Even though I was new in town, I hoped that walking with Rarity would at the very least ease any concerns the other ponies may have had about strangers. Alas, this only held up for a short time.

          “Hiya Rarity, who’s your friend,” a pink-as-can-be pony exclaimed, popping up out of nowhere, “I’ve never seen him before, and I know everypony in Ponyville, so that must mean that he’s not from Ponyville, which means he’s new in Ponyville, which means that I have to meet him.”

          “Well Pinkie, this is a-a friend I met at a party in Canterlot,” Rarity lied, “He just got to Ponyville last night and I’m taking him to see the library.”

          “That’s no fun,” Pinkie said in what I could only assume was her only tone of voice, “Who wants to see some books when there’s a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party to go to instead. Besides, it’s not like the books are going anywhere.”

          “Really Pinkie Pie, we appreciate the offer, but we really don’t have time right now.”

          “Oh come on Rarity, you’re always so uptight. I know that you like a good party as much as anypony and you know that I throw a better party than anypony. So why wouldn’t you want to come to one of my special ‘Welcome-to-Ponyville-Meet-and-Greet’ parties?”

          “I’m sorry, but we really must be…”

          “Going to a party,” I interrupted, “Pinkie Pie is right. And I’m not in that much of a rush. Besides, nopony has ever been so kind as to offer to throw me a party before. It wouldn’t be very nice of me if I didn’t attend.”

          “That’s the spirit,” Pinkie cried, firing off a confetti-filled cannon that hadn’t been there a second ago, “Come on, we can have it at Sugarcube Corner.”

          Before I knew it, I was knee-deep in ponies, all of whom were having a grand old time.

          “I’m sure glad you don’t mind all this Mrs. Cake,” I said to the owner of the sweet shop.

          “Of course not, Mr. Colter. Pinkie is always putting on some party or other. We just like seeing everypony having a good time. Besides, I remember a couple of years ago, my friend in Fillydelphia would send me your food critic column, and it was always an enjoyable read.”

          “Heh, thank you,” I said, slightly embarrassed, “Didn’t think anypony remembered that column. I was just a poor writer back then after all.”

          “Well you’re not a poor writer now,” Pinkie interjected, eating a whole cupcake in one bite, “Now you’re just a writer who’s missing out on these awesome Carrot Cupcakes!”

          “I would be missing out if I didn’t eat any sweets,” I laughed.

          *CRASH*

          “Well how d’ya do, everypony!”

          I whipped around to see two mares at the door to the sweet shop. One was orange and wore a cowboy hat, the other, yellow with a flowing pink mane.

          “Applejack, Fluttershy, glad you finally made it. This is Art,” Pinkie exclaimed, motioning towards me, “he’s an old friend of Rarity’s.”

          “Pleased to meet ya,” Applejack said, shaking my hoof rather forcefully.

          “Um, he-hello,” Fluttershy said so quietly I could barely hear her.

          “Come now, Fluttershy, the man’s not gonna be able to hear ya if you’re all quiet-like.”

          “Oh, sorry. He-Hello” she said, obviously trying to increase the volume of her voice, but seemed to be unable to do so.

          “Glad to meet you both,” I said, “Wow, the ponies of Ponyville sure are friendly, aren’t they?”

          “Well duh,” Pinkie said, again popping up in front of me, “Ponies here are totally the most friendliest, most kindest, most awesomest ponies anywhere.”

          “Can’t say I’m used to this sort of atmosphere.”

          “Quit all the fancy talk,” Applejack said sarcastically, “What in tarnation does that even mean?”

          “Let’s just say that I have more hoofs than I have real friends.”

          You should have seen the look on Pinkie Pie’s face.

          “How…how is that even possible,” she stuttered, “I mean, you say you have more hoofs than friends, and you only have one, two, three, four hoofs. So you’re saying that you don’t have four friends!? That’s crazy! I don’t know what I would do with less than four friends. Well say no more. We’ll all be your friends from now on. And with me, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy, that at least doubles your number of friends. And then if you meet everypony at the party, you could double your double, then double your double again!”

          I smiled, “Thanks Pinkie, I needed that.”

          “Speaking of good friends,” Rarity quipped, “Where in Equestria is Twilight?”