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It's been a minute since I've submitted anything. Honestly, it's been a rough year. I think that's why I chose to do Nienna, Tolkien's "goddess" of grief as my first submission. I've been reading "The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief." It's outstanding. One of those books that I feel when I finish I will recommend to every human being. But it's made me really appreciate Nienna. I think she's probably my favorite of the Valar now. "All she does is cry though. What the heck does a goddess of mourning do?" Is there a more common experience than grief? I don't think so. Everyone will experience it at some point. The death of a loved one. The death of a relationship. The loss of innocence. Grief over the state of the planet... Grief and pain are inescapable. And they hurt like hell. But just like we can't have day without night, the dark periods in life give meaning to the good, they allow us to better appreciate the light, to live more fully. But only if we are allowed to grieve. And that's something that's been largely lost in today's modern society. We're obsessed with progress, with being happy all the time, so it's seen as a flaw to grieve, to mourn. Suck it up. No weakness. Get back to normal ASAP! That's not normal. That's not natural. That's not the way we have existed for most of our history. And I think that's why we're so inundated with mental illness. We don't grieve. We don't sit with our pain. We push it away, refuse to acknowledge it.

So having a deity devoted entirely to the concept of grief and mourning really speaks to me right now. It's incredibly powerful to know that Tolkien placed such an importance on it. Iluvatar's gift of mortality to man is only a gift if death and pain leads to a more fully lived life. Even for the immortal Elves, they grieve the marring of Arda, the fading of their people. That's where mourning comes into play. That's Nienna. Her importance really is shown through Gandalf. This is one of my favorite passages in The Lord of the Rings:

“‘But this is terrible!’ cried Frodo. ‘Far worse than the worst that I imagined from your hints and warnings. O Gandalf, best of friends, what am I to do? For now I am really afraid. What am I to do? What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature, when he had a chance!’
‘Pity? It was Pity that stayed his hand. Pity, and Mercy: not to strike without need. And he has been well rewarded, Frodo. Be sure that he took so little hurt from the evil, and escaped in the end, because he began his ownership of the Ring so. With Pity.’
‘I am sorry,’ said Frodo. ‘But I am frightened; and I do not feel any pity for Gollum.’
‘You have not seen him,’ Gandalf broke in.
‘No, and I don’t want to,’ said Frodo. ‘I can’t understand you. Do you mean to say that you, and the Elves, have let him live on after all those horrible deeds? Now at any rate he is as bad as an Orc, and just an enemy. He deserves death.’
‘Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it. And he is bound up with the fate of the Ring. My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many – yours not least.”

'K. What does that have to do with Nienna?' Everything. Because in his 'youth' in Valinor, Gandalf was known as Olórin, “Wisest of the Maiar… He too dwelt in Lorien, but his ways took him often to the house of Nienna, and of her he learned pity and patience.” The pity and patience Gandalf learned from Nienna played a vital role in the defeat of evil, of Sauron in the Third Age. It's a phenomenally powerful message. When we understand that grief binds us all together, we can better treat others with compassion, with empathy, with pity, with patience. That's wisdom. That's the gift of grief, the gift of Nienna.

I come from a family of Sicilian immigrants. Until fairly recently, grieving was normal, expected in that culture. Women would wear black for an entire year after someone died. There are still professional mourners in some parts of the Mediterranean. That's where my inspiration for Nienna comes from.

The text:

"Mightier than Este is Nienna, sister of the Feanturi [Namo and Irmo]; she dwells alone. She is acquainted with grief, and mourns for every wound that Arda has suffered in the marring of Melkor. So great was her sorrow, as the Music unfolded, that her song turned to lamentation long before its end, and the sound of mourning was woven into the themes of the World before it began. But she does not weep for herself; and those who hearken to her learn pity, and endurance in hope. Her halls are west of West, upon the borders of the world; and she comes seldom to the city of Valimar where all is glad. She goes rather to the halls of Mandos, which are near her own; and all those who wait in Mandos cry to her, for she brings strength to the spirit and turns sorrow to wisdom. The windows of her house look outward from the walls of the world."

"And Nienna arose and went up onto Ezellohar, and cast back her grey hood, and with her tears washed away the defilements of Ungoliant; and she sang in mourning for the bitterness of the world and the Marring of Arda."

Seeing how I picture Valinor (Aman) as Ancient Greek in nature, and that I drew inspiration from the professional mourners of the Mediterranean, that was my starting point. So I garbed her in that fashion, wearing the blacks and greys associated with mourning. The other major visual that I have of her is a shaved head. Long hair was sacred in ancient Greece, and it's clearly important in Tolkien's works. Every time he describes hair, it's long (one of the reasons Rings of Power grates on me so). So my head-canon says that the Valar of grief keeps her hair shaved in a ritual of mourning. (kosmossociety.org/hair-part-3-… ). Other than that, I made her gaunt. We often lose weight during grief, not wanting to eat. Sunken, puffy, bloodshot eyes from weeping round out the look.

She's pretty plain. But that's the nature of grief. It breaks us down to our most plain, basic selves. Plus, this was more about the writing for me than the actual visual. The visual was just a tool to help me express myself, to heal, to turn "sorrow to wisdom," to bring "strength to the spirit." So if you've read all of this, thank you. And next time you experience grief, don't look at it as weakness, as something to be ashamed of, to expunge. Think of Nienna. Realize that it's vital, it's the gift of mortality. Use it to "learn pity, and endurance in hope." Become a better human.

Description

It's been a minute since I've submitted anything. Honestly, it's been a rough year. I think that's why I chose to do Nienna, Tolkien's "goddess" of grief as my first submission. I've been reading "The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief." It's outstanding. One of those books that I feel when I finish I will recommend to every human being. But it's made me really appreciate Nienna. I think she's probably my favorite of the Valar now. "All she does is cry though. What the heck does a goddess of mourning do?" Is there a more common experience than grief? I don't think so. Everyone will experience it at some point. The death of a loved one. The death of a relationship. The loss of innocence. Grief over the state of the planet... Grief and pain are inescapable. And they hurt like hell. But just like we can't have day without night, the dark periods in life give meaning to the good, they allow us to better appreciate the light, to live more fully. But only if we are allowed to grieve. And that's something that's been largely lost in today's modern society. We're obsessed with progress, with being happy all the time, so it's seen as a flaw to grieve, to mourn. Suck it up. No weakness. Get back to normal ASAP! That's not normal. That's not natural. That's not the way we have existed for most of our history. And I think that's why we're so inundated with mental illness. We don't grieve. We don't sit with our pain. We push it away, refuse to acknowledge it.

So having a deity devoted entirely to the concept of grief and mourning really speaks to me right now. It's incredibly powerful to know that Tolkien placed such an importance on it. Iluvatar's gift of mortality to man is only a gift if death and pain leads to a more fully lived life. Even for the immortal Elves, they grieve the marring of Arda, the fading of their people. That's where mourning comes into play. That's Nienna. Her importance really is shown through Gandalf. This is one of my favorite passages in The Lord of the Rings:

“‘But this is terrible!’ cried Frodo. ‘Far worse than the worst that I imagined from your hints and warnings. O Gandalf, best of friends, what am I to do? For now I am really afraid. What am I to do? What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature, when he had a chance!’
‘Pity? It was Pity that stayed his hand. Pity, and Mercy: not to strike without need. And he has been well rewarded, Frodo. Be sure that he took so little hurt from the evil, and escaped in the end, because he began his ownership of the Ring so. With Pity.’
‘I am sorry,’ said Frodo. ‘But I am frightened; and I do not feel any pity for Gollum.’
‘You have not seen him,’ Gandalf broke in.
‘No, and I don’t want to,’ said Frodo. ‘I can’t understand you. Do you mean to say that you, and the Elves, have let him live on after all those horrible deeds? Now at any rate he is as bad as an Orc, and just an enemy. He deserves death.’
‘Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it. And he is bound up with the fate of the Ring. My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many – yours not least.”

'K. What does that have to do with Nienna?' Everything. Because in his 'youth' in Valinor, Gandalf was known as Olórin, “Wisest of the Maiar… He too dwelt in Lorien, but his ways took him often to the house of Nienna, and of her he learned pity and patience.” The pity and patience Gandalf learned from Nienna played a vital role in the defeat of evil, of Sauron in the Third Age. It's a phenomenally powerful message. When we understand that grief binds us all together, we can better treat others with compassion, with empathy, with pity, with patience. That's wisdom. That's the gift of grief, the gift of Nienna.

I come from a family of Sicilian immigrants. Until fairly recently, grieving was normal, expected in that culture. Women would wear black for an entire year after someone died. There are still professional mourners in some parts of the Mediterranean. That's where my inspiration for Nienna comes from.

The text:

"Mightier than Este is Nienna, sister of the Feanturi [Namo and Irmo]; she dwells alone. She is acquainted with grief, and mourns for every wound that Arda has suffered in the marring of Melkor. So great was her sorrow, as the Music unfolded, that her song turned to lamentation long before its end, and the sound of mourning was woven into the themes of the World before it began. But she does not weep for herself; and those who hearken to her learn pity, and endurance in hope. Her halls are west of West, upon the borders of the world; and she comes seldom to the city of Valimar where all is glad. She goes rather to the halls of Mandos, which are near her own; and all those who wait in Mandos cry to her, for she brings strength to the spirit and turns sorrow to wisdom. The windows of her house look outward from the walls of the world."

"And Nienna arose and went up onto Ezellohar, and cast back her grey hood, and with her tears washed away the defilements of Ungoliant; and she sang in mourning for the bitterness of the world and the Marring of Arda."

Seeing how I picture Valinor (Aman) as Ancient Greek in nature, and that I drew inspiration from the professional mourners of the Mediterranean, that was my starting point. So I garbed her in that fashion, wearing the blacks and greys associated with mourning. The other major visual that I have of her is a shaved head. Long hair was sacred in ancient Greece, and it's clearly important in Tolkien's works. Every time he describes hair, it's long (one of the reasons Rings of Power grates on me so). So my head-canon says that the Valar of grief keeps her hair shaved in a ritual of mourning. (kosmossociety.org/hair-part-3-… ). Other than that, I made her gaunt. We often lose weight during grief, not wanting to eat. Sunken, puffy, bloodshot eyes from weeping round out the look.

She's pretty plain. But that's the nature of grief. It breaks us down to our most plain, basic selves. Plus, this was more about the writing for me than the actual visual. The visual was just a tool to help me express myself, to heal, to turn "sorrow to wisdom," to bring "strength to the spirit." So if you've read all of this, thank you. And next time you experience grief, don't look at it as weakness, as something to be ashamed of, to expunge. Think of Nienna. Realize that it's vital, it's the gift of mortality. Use it to "learn pity, and endurance in hope." Become a better human.