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“Nobles and their stupid hats!” the Inquisitor slurred. “I hate hats.”

Varric jumped to his feet and hurried toward Dany as she stumbled through the archway of the main hall. Her arm was in a sling, which he had expected. She had gotten a bit too brave when taking on a giant in the Storm Coast and had paid for her bluster in the form of a badly broken arm. Dorian had done as much as he could for the injury in the field, but in the end he had splinted it and convinced them all to head back to Skyhold.

From the way she wobbled he could tell that the healer had given her something for the pain. That comforted him a bit. Though she hadn’t complained even once on the way back to the keep, he knew from the set of her jaw that she was hurting. The arm was now tightly wrapped in bandages and held close to her body by a sling of the same material.

Whatever mixture the healer had given her was potent. The Inquisitor was as high as the breach. She squealed in delight as his arm slipped around her waist to steady her. Naturally, the high pitched noise drew the attention of half the nobles that were already gathered in the hall.

He looked up at her and smiled anyway. “Looks like the healer got you fixed right up, Bells.”

He almost laughed as she tried to give him a serious look. “That guy is amazing. Who hired him? Did I hire him? I should make him...” she paused as if she lost her train of thought. “He gave me these herbs to take, Varric. They make my teeth feel fuzzy.”

She tried to move the arm in the sling and frowned when it only weakly flapped in front of her. The nobles started whispering among themselves as she softly clucked like a chicken and then laughed. He glared at them as he slowly guided her toward her quarters.

“Where is Josephine? I need to...I need to tell her about a thing,” she said as she leaned heavily against him.

“What kind of a thing?” he asked, eve though she seemed preoccupied with staring at the ceiling. “I bet this thing could wait until morning. I can even have her come up to your quarters.What do you think?”

“I bet you’d like to come to my quarters,” she giggled. The nobles nearest to them gasped at her candor.

As if on cue, the door to Josephine’s office swung open. The ambassador took one look at them and the whispering nobles and frowned. He could practically see her day go to shit in that instant. Her brows knit together and her hands immediately clasped before her in that way she did when she was distraught.

“Master Tethras, Inquisitor...what is...” she trailed off as she finally noticed Dany’s arm. “What happened? Are you well, Lady Trevelyan?”

“She’s going to be fine, Ruffles.”

“I got clubbed by a giant!” the mage replied excitedly. “There was a bone sticking out of my arm and everything! Blood was everywhere!”

The ambassador looked faint, but was ever the hostess. Her eyes darted around the room accessing the damage done by the Inquisitor's comment. Already the nobles closest were shuffling away as if the she was going to bleed on them at any moment.

“Perhaps it would be best if the...”

Dany snorted. “I said bone.”

Josephine let out a squeak and blushed fiercely. “Andraste’s mercy! Get her out of here please! This is a diplomatic disaster waiting to happen!”

Varric tried to move the mage along but she wasn’t budging. She was frowning at the ambassador. She flapped her bandaged arm at the woman.

“I am your Inquisitaaaah!” she slurred as she jammed the marked hand toward Josephine’s face. “I have the stupid glowy thingy. Lookit!”

True to her craft, the ambassador took the drugged declaration fairly well. As well as any woman who was completely embarrassed, anyhow.

“Yes, of course, Lady Trevelyan. You are most definitely the Inquisitor. Perhaps you would like to get some rest now, your worship. It has been a very long day.”

“Yeah! I’m going to my quarters and getting in the bed.”

The relief on Josephine’s face was palpable. However, as with all things, it was fleeting.

“I’m getting in my bed with this gorgeous hairy dwarf,” she slurred as she bumped him with her hip. The sway to bump him was enough to set her off-balance again and she nearly fell on top of him. He barely kept her from hitting the floor. The entire crowd in the main hall let out a scandalized gasp.

The ambassador looked mortified. “Get. Her. Out.”

“On it, Ruffles.”

She leaned heavily on him again and let out a long sigh. “Varric, I’m kind of tired now. Can we go?”

The dwarf nodded as he helped her along to the door of her quarters. “Absolutely, Bells. That’s a great idea. If we stay any longer Josephine might have to write us a strongly worded letter admonishing our behavior. Nobody wants that.”

After struggling up the stairs they finally made it to her bed. She crawled in, shoes and all.

“I changed my mind about that healer. We should fire him. His herbs are weird.”

“I’ll make a note of his weird herbs, Bells,” he said with a smirk as he sat on the edge of the bed and began unlacing her boots. “You can fire him in the morning.”

“Yeah. I’ll do it tomorrow.” Her eyes were closed and she looked like she might drift off at any moment.

He slipped the shoes from her feet and placed them beside the bed then pulled the thin blanket at the foot of the bed up to cover her. Just as he was about to get up she grabbed his arm.

“Don’t go. Stay here.”

“If that’s what you want, Bells,” he replied.

He unlaced his own boots and kicked them off. Swinging his legs up onto the bed, he leaned against the headboard. She snuggled up close and sighed as he slipped his arm around her. It wasn’t long before she was softly snoring. He smiled, thankful that she made it out of her encounter with her life.

“No more punching giants, alright?” he said as he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “Never staff-punch a giant.” Then he closed his eyes to sleep himself.

Description
“Nobles and their stupid hats!” the Inquisitor slurred. “I hate hats.”

Varric jumped to his feet and hurried toward Dany as she stumbled through the archway of the main hall. Her arm was in a sling, which he had expected. She had gotten a bit too brave when taking on a giant in the Storm Coast and had paid for her bluster in the form of a badly broken arm. Dorian had done as much as he could for the injury in the field, but in the end he had splinted it and convinced them all to head back to Skyhold.

From the way she wobbled he could tell that the healer had given her something for the pain. That comforted him a bit. Though she hadn’t complained even once on the way back to the keep, he knew from the set of her jaw that she was hurting. The arm was now tightly wrapped in bandages and held close to her body by a sling of the same material.

Whatever mixture the healer had given her was potent. The Inquisitor was as high as the breach. She squealed in delight as his arm slipped around her waist to steady her. Naturally, the high pitched noise drew the attention of half the nobles that were already gathered in the hall.

He looked up at her and smiled anyway. “Looks like the healer got you fixed right up, Bells.”

He almost laughed as she tried to give him a serious look. “That guy is amazing. Who hired him? Did I hire him? I should make him...” she paused as if she lost her train of thought. “He gave me these herbs to take, Varric. They make my teeth feel fuzzy.”

She tried to move the arm in the sling and frowned when it only weakly flapped in front of her. The nobles started whispering among themselves as she softly clucked like a chicken and then laughed. He glared at them as he slowly guided her toward her quarters.

“Where is Josephine? I need to...I need to tell her about a thing,” she said as she leaned heavily against him.

“What kind of a thing?” he asked, eve though she seemed preoccupied with staring at the ceiling. “I bet this thing could wait until morning. I can even have her come up to your quarters.What do you think?”

“I bet you’d like to come to my quarters,” she giggled. The nobles nearest to them gasped at her candor.

As if on cue, the door to Josephine’s office swung open. The ambassador took one look at them and the whispering nobles and frowned. He could practically see her day go to shit in that instant. Her brows knit together and her hands immediately clasped before her in that way she did when she was distraught.

“Master Tethras, Inquisitor...what is...” she trailed off as she finally noticed Dany’s arm. “What happened? Are you well, Lady Trevelyan?”

“She’s going to be fine, Ruffles.”

“I got clubbed by a giant!” the mage replied excitedly. “There was a bone sticking out of my arm and everything! Blood was everywhere!”

The ambassador looked faint, but was ever the hostess. Her eyes darted around the room accessing the damage done by the Inquisitor's comment. Already the nobles closest were shuffling away as if the she was going to bleed on them at any moment.

“Perhaps it would be best if the...”

Dany snorted. “I said bone.”

Josephine let out a squeak and blushed fiercely. “Andraste’s mercy! Get her out of here please! This is a diplomatic disaster waiting to happen!”

Varric tried to move the mage along but she wasn’t budging. She was frowning at the ambassador. She flapped her bandaged arm at the woman.

“I am your Inquisitaaaah!” she slurred as she jammed the marked hand toward Josephine’s face. “I have the stupid glowy thingy. Lookit!”

True to her craft, the ambassador took the drugged declaration fairly well. As well as any woman who was completely embarrassed, anyhow.

“Yes, of course, Lady Trevelyan. You are most definitely the Inquisitor. Perhaps you would like to get some rest now, your worship. It has been a very long day.”

“Yeah! I’m going to my quarters and getting in the bed.”

The relief on Josephine’s face was palpable. However, as with all things, it was fleeting.

“I’m getting in my bed with this gorgeous hairy dwarf,” she slurred as she bumped him with her hip. The sway to bump him was enough to set her off-balance again and she nearly fell on top of him. He barely kept her from hitting the floor. The entire crowd in the main hall let out a scandalized gasp.

The ambassador looked mortified. “Get. Her. Out.”

“On it, Ruffles.”

She leaned heavily on him again and let out a long sigh. “Varric, I’m kind of tired now. Can we go?”

The dwarf nodded as he helped her along to the door of her quarters. “Absolutely, Bells. That’s a great idea. If we stay any longer Josephine might have to write us a strongly worded letter admonishing our behavior. Nobody wants that.”

After struggling up the stairs they finally made it to her bed. She crawled in, shoes and all.

“I changed my mind about that healer. We should fire him. His herbs are weird.”

“I’ll make a note of his weird herbs, Bells,” he said with a smirk as he sat on the edge of the bed and began unlacing her boots. “You can fire him in the morning.”

“Yeah. I’ll do it tomorrow.” Her eyes were closed and she looked like she might drift off at any moment.

He slipped the shoes from her feet and placed them beside the bed then pulled the thin blanket at the foot of the bed up to cover her. Just as he was about to get up she grabbed his arm.

“Don’t go. Stay here.”

“If that’s what you want, Bells,” he replied.

He unlaced his own boots and kicked them off. Swinging his legs up onto the bed, he leaned against the headboard. She snuggled up close and sighed as he slipped his arm around her. It wasn’t long before she was softly snoring. He smiled, thankful that she made it out of her encounter with her life.

“No more punching giants, alright?” he said as he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “Never staff-punch a giant.” Then he closed his eyes to sleep himself.